


Broken Parable

by rae_targaryen11



Category: Ben Solo/Rey - Fandom, Kylo Ren/Rey - Fandom, Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Reylo - Freeform, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-03-04 01:06:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 65,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13353267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rae_targaryen11/pseuds/rae_targaryen11
Summary: After Kylo Ren has killed Snoke and battled with Rey against the Praetorian Guards, he offers her his hand and the galaxy. Instead she reaches for her lightsaber, leaving them to battle each other. When the lightsaber gets torn in two and knocks both of them unconscious, it's Kylo that wakes up first. But when General Hux strolls in demanding an explanation it's Rey who takes the blame.





	1. Stubborn Beast

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! I'm very excited as this is my first ever Reylo fanfiction. A few notes: a legia is a pig-like creature and a tashani is a bull-like creature. Also, chapter titles are inspired by songs and I'll post what the songs are when I post the chapters. So the first chapter's song is Stubborn Beast by Bear's Den.

_"Such a stubborn beast is best away from the flock."_ \- "Stubborn Beast" by Bear's Den

Kylo Ren wakes with a headache and blurry vision. He can feel the _swish-wap_ as he blinks his eyes, trying to bring everything back into a solid image. While the watercolor bleeds in his view he flashes back.

    Black and red.

    Guards.

    Choking.

    A corpse in a gold robe cut in half.

    Rey on her knees in front of him.

    Rey. Things start to come into focus. Where the stark red wall was there is now an open view to the stars beyond. The guards dressed in violent crimson lay strewn across the floor along with the bifurcated body of his former master. Snoke. Something like a growl tries to crawl up Ren’s throat.

    He rises to his knees, head still swimming. He sees the broken lightsaber before he sees her. His lightsaber. His family’s lightsaber. His grandfather’s lightsaber. Darth Vader. The bright blue blade that all at once saved him and betrayed him.

    No. She betrayed him. His hand was outstretched donning his soft leather glove, and she moved as if to take it. His heart had sped up in that moment only to come to a startingly sharp stop. She grabbed for the saber and he grabbed back, ripping it in half and throwing them aloft.

    She had landed on her side. Her ochre hair covering her face. Her chest is still rising and falling, though; that is a good sign. Rey. His salvation and destruction all in one living being. She should have taken his hand.

    He rises to his feet with just a small protest from his brain, but he steadies himself. He bends down to pick up the destroyed weapon. He fists it in his hands making the metal creak. An elegant defense ruined.

    The sound of echoing boots on a glossy black floor comes from his right. He looks over to see the pasty ginger General Hux warily strolling into Snoke’s throne room. His head sweeps over the scene, beady eyes narrowing when it falls on the Supreme Leader’s corpse. Behind him sparks from destroyed equipment continue to rain down. “Ren!” he shouts making his way in front of him. “What happened?”

    His voice is too loud for the way he is feeling. If he drank he would imagine this was what it would feel like the morning after. He opens his mouth to answer, but feels sick and closes it. He focuses on just breathing.

    Hux starts a protest to Kylo’s non-answer. “I did it,” the voice comes from a mouth that sounds like it’s filled with sand.

    Kylo moves his gaze to look past Hux as Hux turns around, cloak swirling with the movement. “Who are you?” Hux snivels.

    “Rey. I’m the apprentice of Jedi Master Luke Skywalker, and I did this. I killed Snoke then I knocked Kylo Ren unconscious and I fought and killed the guards,” her tone is defiant and sure. Apparently, the blow she sustained wasn’t as thorough as Kylo’s.

    Their eyes meet and all at once Kylo feels the anger, disappointment and sadness well up in his gut. He feels his eyes fill with fluid, but he doesn’t try to blink it away. Rey’s hazel look is glassy but still challenging, telling Kylo to go ahead and lay claim to his efforts. He stays silent.

    “Guards!” Hux screams. “Take this . . . girl and have her transported to the Finalizer and put in one of the empty cells in the prison block.” Contempt drips from his tongue.

    Two troopers with their signature simple white uniforms hastily walk in and place binders around Rey’s wrists. Then she is half tugged half obediently walked towards the elevator.

    Once she is gone Hux turns to Ren. “We need to go. The Resistance took their last ship and jumped to hyper-speed ripping through our whole fleet. The Supremacy has taken major damage. I gave the order to evacuate,” he explains.

    Kylo just stands there still taking in the brutality. A brutality that he and Rey worked together to create. At the time it has felt as natural as breathing, but now it was just a painful reminder that Kylo’s life one of perpetual rejection.

    “Ren, I know your massive ego is bruised by being beaten by that girl . . . again, but we need to leave and then figure out the line of succession -,” Hux is cut off quickly and begins to gag.

    Kylo stands with his gloved hand extended cupping the air. His hair is plastered to his face with sweat. “What was that about the line of succession?”

    “The Supreme Leader is dead,” Hux explains through frustrated breaths.

    “Yes, the Supreme Leader is dead and I was his apprentice,” Kylo says this slowly as if he’s explaining it to a child. “The Supreme Leader is dead.”

    “Long live the Supreme Leader,” Hux huffs. Kylo let’s him go and makes for the elevator while Hux is left gasping breaths on all fours.

 

XXXX

 

    The cell is bland and white and gives off a distinct feeling of sterility. But it’s not the most uncomfortable place she could ever be, and it certainly isn’t the remnants of an Imperial AT-AT.

The door is windowless and on the perpendicular wall sits a small cot-like bed, which is also white. Across from the bed is a small pedestal sink and toilet.

Rey takes a seat on the bed, folds her hands under her thighs and sighs. What has she just

done? Of all the hair-brained plans she could have thought of and that was the first thing that came to her mind? She could just hear Master Luke now. _You were too impulsive._

The door hisses and quickly ascends to a silver medical droid holding a matching silver tray donning various medical supplies.

Rey stands. “Take a seat, please,” the droid monotonously says as it rolls into the cell. Rey does as she’s told.

The droid sets the tray on the bed and begins to poke and prod her. It doesn’t hurt, but it is annoying to the point that she almost tells it to go away. “A minor cut on the right shoulder,” the droid promptly reports.

“Yeah, thanks. I figured that,” Rey smarts. This is not where she is supposed to be right now. She should be on Crait helping her friends escape. She just hopes that Chewie knows that she’s not coming back anytime soon and gets down to the surface to get them out of there.

The droid unwraps a bacta pack and precisely deposits it over Rey’s cut. She flashes back.

After Ben had delivered the not at all unforseen killing blow to his master with her lightsaber he had sent it flying. Rey had firmly caught it in her right hand, gripping it so hard the veins under her knuckles made an appearance. She stood then and looked at him.

She had looked at him on the elevator up to Snoke’s throne room and various times through their bond, but this time was different. She actually looked at him, felt him in the Force and that’s when she saw it. It was a small light reflected in the dark of his pupil, and as he stared back at her that light seemed to grow until it turned the chestnut of his iris into a blazing bronze.

The heat of a duel started to waft off of him as they turned their backs to each other like a cornered pair of loth-cats on the edge of desperation. She then felt their two Force signatures meld into one, and two warriors became the same.

That’s why it was so disappointing, burgeoning on heartbreaking, when the fight had ended, and he had given her silence when met with the proposition of saving the fleeing Resistance. She gritted her teeth. _Fuck!_ She had seen his turn when they touched hands in the hut on Ach’ To. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. She wasn’t supposed to be there. Why did she take credit for a slaughter she only half made?

The medical droid, having finished it’s programmed responsibility, left Rey alone in her cell. Back on Jakku she would have done anything not to be alone, but now, with everything she needed to think about, she didn’t mind. She took a deep breath and settled in for a marathon of meditation.

 

XXXX

 

    Kylo Ren sweeps into his private quarters throwing his billowing cloak across the desk in the entrance hall. He then walks into the living quarters through a side door. The door descends with a definite swish.

He walks across the black tiled floor, past the pristine white kitchen and the immaculate white couch and chair towards his private viewport. It’s an expanse of wall filled floor to ceiling with windows, so Kylo can see out to the pleasant vastness of space.

He rips off his gloves and throws them onto the glass coffee table then rakes his hands through his jet hair. He starts to pace. He wants to hit something, but not so bad that he wants to destroy his personal sanctuary. It’s the only place he can go to to rid himself of the lunacy that is the First Order.

She denied him. Traveled all the way to him from wherever she had been just to deny him! _I saved her life_ , he thought, overlooking the fact that he had killed Snoke just as much for himself as he did for her, and now something deep inside him felt very different.

 _We fought the Praetorian guard together._ It had been a burst of flame, their duel with the reds. They had moved separately, but yet, as one, like cogs in a machine whose teeth fit perfectly. He felt a burning on the outside of his right thigh. He looked down. And they had used each others bodies for protection and momentum. She had touched that spot on his thigh and now it was a glow that would never disperse.

She had let him use her lightsaber, too - in that very last second where he was sure he was bantha fodder. She didn’t even know how sacred that was - to let another warrior use your weapon. And she had intended to use his too, against his late master. She should have let him die.

 

XXXX

 

Rey wakes the next morning to the same hiss of the door initializing. She rolls to her back on the narrow bed and drapes an arm over her eyes, “My cut is fine. I don’t need a new bacta pack yet.”

“Oh, I’m not here to administer remedies. Quite the opposite,” the slippery voice of General Hux speaks from just inside the door.

Rey bolts up, surprise addling her features. “What do you want?” The question is dripping with disdain.

Hux walks further into the cell and a metal contraption is wheeled in behind him. “You and I are going to have a nice, friendly chat,” he says. Her gaze flicks to the object that was just deposited into the middle of the room, and her eyes widen slightly as alarm bells start to echo in her brain. Hux notices. “Ah, yes. I’m sure you’re already familiar with The Stabilizer.”

Yes, she was very familiar with it alright, it was the same device Kylo Ren strapped her to when he kidnapped her from Takodana.

“It seems your little Resistance friends, or at least what is left of them, escaped Crait due to our new Supreme Leader’s oversight. And rumor has it that they’ve been joined by your Jedi Master. We do not now know where they are and you’re going to tell us,” he starts to pull off his black leather gloves finger by finger. When they are both off and set upon a silver metal tray - identical to that of the medical droid yesterday - he starts to pull on white rubber ones in their place. He has trouble at first, the rubber snagging on his skin, but once they are on he gives them a slight test with a satisfying snap.

“Guards, please take Miss Rey here and get her on The Stabilizer.” The Stormtroopers from outside slip in and grab Rey by her upper arms like they had yesterday. Except, these guards’ hands are much firmer as she fights against their restraint.

“I don’t know anything. You’re wasting your time,” she says squirming. _Don’t show fear. Don’t show fear._ She keeps repeating this mantra in her mind. _Try to center yourself. Try to center yourself._ Before she can even reach out into the Force her bare skin is touching the cold metal frame.

“Now to begin.”

 

XXXX

 

Kylo Ren stands hands behind his back in the hangar on The Finalizer, watching as mechanics tinker on a handful of TIE Fighters. He hears it before he can feel it, that sucking sound that makes all background noise drown out. And then it’s like someone took a picture and overlaid it on his line of sight.

He looks around for a moment before noticing there is something on the floor just a few feet in front of him. It’s the scavenger. She’s unconscious and still in the clothing she wore when she left The Supremacy. He moves closer and stoops down.

He moves the hair covering her neck and notices a couple of dark dots on the side of her throat maring her pale flesh. He knows exactly what’s happened. The marks were made by something the First Order torturers liked to call The Spasmer.

It’s an instrument that has two wire thin prongs that conduct heat. A torturer will administer the two prongs onto a person’s skin, and it will burn them much like if someone put a cigara out on bare flesh.

He immediately knows who did this to her. _Fuck!_ Did that imbecile not know that she had no valuable information whatsoever? She had been away from the Resistance and definitely didn’t have any idea of where they were.

Kylo had let them escape on purpose, but if you were to ask him that he would deny it. It was the same instinct that had caused him not to fire directly on his mother while she was on board the Resistance starship. And the same instinct that caused him to kill the two pilots who had. He knew she had survived, though, he could still feel her in the Force.

Kylo is pulled out of his reverie by a soft moan. Rey’s head moves and she can barely see Kylo out of her periphery. “Ben?” she asks.

Kylo abruptly stands back up. “Wake up,” he says nudging her boot with his own.

Rey pulls herself into a sitting position and her hand shoots to her neck where she is no doubt feeling a great deal of pain. “Hux,” she says.

“Yes, Hux. He tortured you for information, I’m assuming, you don’t have.” She mutely nods.

After a few moments of him staring down at her she looks up. “So, the bond still works?” she questions.

“Yes,” he presses his lips into a line.

“I thought it would have severed once Snoke was dead.”

“Yeah, well it didn’t.”

She snorts, “Aren’t you Captain Obvious today?”

She can see a small flash of anger and frustration and maybe hurt ripple across his features, but it’s gone just as soon as it was there. “Why did you pretend to take my hand?”

“Fuck. We’re going to do this now?”

“Yes, we are.”

“You and I don’t want the same things for the galaxy. You’re now Supreme Leader of the First Order for Maker’s sake!”

“I wouldn’t be if you had taken my hand.”

“No, if I had taken your hand you would be the leader of some other organization with twisted morals and I would, what? Stand by your side as a showpiece looking on as heinous acts are practiced in our names? No, thank you.”

“No! No.” She could tell by his voice that she hit some exposed nerve. “Not as a showpiece, Rey, as an equal.”

“That is the only part of that statement that you object to? You’re no better than Snoke.”

“Then why not let me own up to my crime of killing him?” She looks down at her hands fiddling with her nails. “Rey! Tell me!” His voice raises in volume. The mechanics that surround him look over in puzzlement.

“Because despite all that you’ve done and despite the fact that you’ve taken on the role of Supreme Leader, I still believe in Ben Solo,” she says, her body physically deflating.

The same sucking sound that started the bond signals the end of it, and all the surrounding activity hits Kylo in full force.

He turns to the nearest fighter and ignites his red saber with a deep shattering shriek. The mechanics look at each other knowing what is likely to come next. None of them volunteer to try and calm him down.

Kylo takes his saber to the TIE Fighter. He doesn’t stop until it’s scarred just as much as he is.

 

XXXX

 

The bridge of the Finalizer can sometimes be a peaceful place for Kylo. He likes looking out at the expanse of space  while there are small, barely audible conversations going on around him, and on a ship with 55,000 crew the chatter is enough to drown out everything. It allows him to just stare at the stars and think.

“Where is he!?” The squeal ripples through the space behind Kylo. He’s surprised it’s taken Hux this long - it had only been a couple of days since Rey’s torture, but Kylo had put out his first decree as Supreme Leader only yesterday.

Purposeful steps echo behind him and come to a stop. “Ren!” _Maker! He sounds just like a little legia._

Kylo turns to see a sour-faced Hux staring back at him, and though the general matches him in height it’s the way Kylo stands that makes him loom over the ginger.

Kylo doesn’t say anything to him. “What is the meaning of this?” Hux holds up a black holopad.

“Of what?” He enjoys pulling at Hux’s patience like this, and he makes it so easy.

“Your first decree as Supreme Leader! You’re reforming our torture practices! What gives you the right?”

“I am the Supreme Leader. It gives me all the right in the galaxy.”

“You’re doing this because of that girl . . .” He can’t get the rest of the sentence out, though, his thin sniveling lips are still moving. Kylo has rendered his voice mute with the Force. He doesn’t use this trick often, but it’s his favorite.

All eyes are on the two men. “If you must know, Hux. I had a few benefactors contact me. They were worried about the way in which we treat our prisoners. From now on, our torturers and any other crew can only torture detainees every four days. Prisoners must be given regular meals, they must be allowed access to a shower every other day, and must be let out of their cells once to twice a month if not more. I have increased the personnel in the prison block. I hope you don’t mind, but I took them from your private battalion. It’s not like they were seeing any action anyway. Also, I will be conducting separate interrogations of this scavenger girl. She is strong in the Force, and I fear your ability to get information out of her is lacking because of this fact,” he explains.

Hux’s voice is released and he stands in silence facing Kylo for a few minutes. “Yes, Supreme Leader. If you see it fitting, Supreme Leader,” his voice just toes the line of condescending.

Hux goes to leave. “Hux,” Kylo says making him turn, his boots squeaking on the floor. “Do not question my authority again.”

Hux gives Kylo a dark look before making his exit.

 

XXXX

 

    Rey is doing sit-ups in her cell when a pair of troopers come for her. She is taken to a communal refresher and allowed to bathe. Afterward she puts on the new clothes she is given by the guards. It’s a loose fitting light blue tank top with loose fitting, drawstring pants. She slips her feet into a pair of matching slippers before leaving the room.

Rey realizes she’s being led somewhere else when the guards pass her cell. She doesn’t bother asking. She knows they won’t answer her. They ride a lift together up a few floors and head for what she can only devise is the rear of the ship. Soon they stop outside a black door and ring the com. The door lifts and she’s led inside.

She’s greeted by the constantly blank face of Kylo Ren sitting behind a large black desk. He has a holo up that he exits out of before rising in greeting. He thanks the guards and asks them to leave. He then turns to Rey. “Please, have a seat. Would you like something to eat?” he asks returning to his chair.

Rey cocks her head. _This has to be a trick._ A few days ago Hux was torturing her and now Kylo is offering to break bread with her. Had the whole galaxy fallen into a black hole?

She looks at him. He’s in a fresh set of clothes, his hair has been recently washed and dried making it seem more voluminous, but her eyes seem to magnetically drawn to the scar over his eye. That scar will incite memories for them both.

He stares back. No menace in his eyes. He takes in her new prisoner garb and her damp hair and she grows a bit uncomfortable.

She walks over and hesitantly lowers herself into the chair. “I wanted to update you on some developments.” He starts to pour some water into a glass for her.

“Why?”

“Because it concerns you.” She just stares at him as she takes the beverage. “I have put out my first decree as Supreme Leader. The First Order will be changing its torture practices effective immediately.” He continues on, disclosing the details of the changes.

She waits a few more minutes before asking, “Why?”

He heaves a frustrated sigh. “Is that the only word you know? I did it for you. To protect you.”

He is met with another wall of silence. For only a second he considers trying to get a feeling of her through their bond, but he has made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t intrude on her like that. Only because he wouldn’t like the same to be done to him, and he doesn’t know if he could or would even want to resist her. Things were complicated when it came to her.

“How could you?” her reply is stark. He sees the anger in her furrowed brows.

“I thought you would be relieved.” Oh yes, things were very complicated when it came to her.

“Relieved? I feel patronized, trivialized. I feel like you think I’m some child that needs help.”

“Torture is painful.”

“I’m well aware of that! But am I not the same person who defeated you on Starkiller Base?” She sees his jaw tighten at the mention. “Am I not the same person who fought with you against Snoke’s guards?” He gives a very small nod. _Forever the king of micro-expressions,_ she thinks. “Fuck you!”

Now his face finally moves more than several centimeters. He mouth scrunches and his eyes widen in ire. He grips the arms of the chair and his leather gloves groan at the action. She expects him to jolt upright, to send the chair flying into the black wall, to flip the desk over, or to take out his lightsaber and cut it in two.

But instead he just sits there, breathing like a tashani ready to charge his fighter. After a few more moments, he relaxes, starting in his face and rippling all the way down his body. “I . . . I suppose I made a mistake.”

She can’t breathe. His words were clear and they ring through her mind, but she still thinks she misheard him.

“The other day when the bond connected us and I saw the mark on your neck . . . well, it wasn’t pleasant.” Rey starts to blink rapidly. “I didn’t like seeing you like that, and that night when I started to think about it I realized I was the Supreme Leader of the First Order. Anything I say goes. I only wanted to help.”

Slowly, the large brute of a man that was across from her shrunk into a small, sensitive boy. Rey swallows thickly, “I wouldn’t like it either.”

“Like what?”

“Seeing you in pain.”

He doesn’t respond for a long moment, only looks down at his hands. He slowly discards his gloves and lays his hands on the desk palms down. “I couldn’t stand to see Snoke torture you, you know.” His voice is barely a whisper, and without thinking Rey slides her hand across the desk to take his. His breath hitches.

His palm is warm and instead of finding calluses all she touches is smooth skin. He starts to moves small circles on the tiny bit of skin between her thumb and forefinger.

“Something is different,” he says quietly. She gives him a quizzical look. “Ever since the moment I killed Snoke something inside me has been different. It’s like there was a piece of rubber stretched between him and me and as soon as his life left him it snapped, and now it’s no longer there.”

“I think that might mean you’re free,” Rey says.

“Free of what, though?”

“Of him. He had a hold of you at such a young age, and I think it feels different for you because you don’t really remember what life was like without his influence hanging over you. I think you’re finally getting to feel what the rest of us feel.”

He sat with her for a few more moments like that, letting her revelation sink in. The first thing he had wanted to do after killing Snoke was to be with her. His first act of true freedom was choosing her, and they both knew it.

“I should probably get you an escort back to your cell,” he says breaking their contact. She only nods.

 

XXXX

 

There is nothing Rey can do in her cell except eat, sleep, exercise, meditate and a massive amount of thinking. In fact, that’s all she’s been doing since her conversation with Ben a couple of days ago.

It was bizzare to say the least. It was as if it wasn’t even him she was talking to, but a spectre that had come and possessed his body, forcing him to confess these feelings. The way he had shrunk during their conversation was the thing that surprised Rey the most. She could still feel his hand in hers.

There is a hollowing out of her room and she realizes that Ben’s coming through their bond. “You’re looking quite pensive this evening,” he says his timbre voice echoing through the air. “Credit for your thoughts?” She looks over at him. She’s not sure where he is, but she knows he’s gazing out at some type of scene.

“Hux will be here tomorrow,” she doesn’t want to talk about their conversation just yet. “Now that he can only torture me once every four days he’s going to be more wicked about it.”

Kylo knows that’s not what she was thinking about, but he also knows that he doesn’t want to press her. He looks at her. He was half expecting the First Order’s standard prisoner’s uniform to dwarf her, but she fills it out nicely. But it’s not nearly as nice as her hair. Free of its tie it falls down almost touching her shoulders and every time she moves her head gravity makes those lovely tresses fly.

“You’re the most powerful Force user I’ve ever met whatever he has planned you’ll withstand it. Plus, let’s not forget who we’re talking about here. Hux is hardly that imaginative.” She gives him a soft smile and his lips minorly lift in return.

“You’ve been tortured before?” she asks.

“Yes.”

“By who?”

“Snoke.”

She’s silent as if she’s contemplating this. Then she turns to look at him. “You never answered my question, you know.”

“Yes, I just did.”

“Not that question.”  
    He racks his brain thinking of any questions she’s asked him.

“Why did you kill him?” she asks, like he needs clarification.

“Ah. It was supposed to make me stronger, to show my commitment to the Dark and to Snoke. Instead it broke me, made me resent him. It was supposed to be the greatest sacrifice I could have made and it was. It was my own father, but Snoke said it wasn’t enough. When he said that it lit a fuse in me. It was a wound I could feel fester there, and I think I just let it and the result was Snoke’s death. I can never take it back. I can never be redeemed for my action towards my father.”

There is a beat of silence. “And during that time I felt very alone. Then the Force connected us. You made me feel less alone. Our bond, it faintly reminds me of a connection I discovered just after my parents sent me to Luke. It was this soft voice. It seemed like it was younger than me, but it sent me feelings of calm. It faded soon after I turned 20. When Snoke completely revealed himself to me.”

“What did you and this voice talk about?” Rey asks.

“Nothing particularly exciting. What we did that day. Those types of things.”

“Strange.”

“What?”  
    “Nothing.” She’s quite for a moment. He can tell that she’s trying to work something out. Her face scrunches up slightly, but then it relaxes again. “Ever since you made me face the truth about my parents I’ve started to have flashes of memories. I think they’re memories that I suppressed from when I was younger. I never realized that I had this deep well of recollections.”

“Sometimes when we confront the very hard things in our lives we uncover much more than we mean to.”

She nods, at the same time the hollowness breaks and Ben is gone.

Rey gets into bed, and before she falls asleep a vague image of an incorporeal voice flashes in her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I'm very excited as this is my first ever Reylo fanfiction. A few notes: a legia is a pig-like creature and a tashani is a bull-like creature. Also, chapter titles are inspired by songs and I'll post what the songs are when I post the chapters. So the first chapter's song is Stubborn Beast by Bear's Den.


	2. Mess is Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few months have passed on the Finalizer. Hux still believes Rey has important information about the Resistance and Kylo Ren makes some more changes to the First Order.

_"Do you like walking in the rain? When you think of love do you think of pain?"_ \- "Mess is Mine" by Vance Joy

One of the nicer things about being Supreme Leader is that Kylo Ren gets to occasionally sleep in. This morning was one of those mornings. He was able to rise at a more reasonable hour - not too early and not too late. He ambled down to the training room and went through some forms before taking out some anger on a sparring dummy.

Training always went better when he pictured Hux’s face on the training dummy. Kylo gives a small smile to himself at the thought as he steps from the shower. Thank Maker he was using a practice saber, or he would be out of a dummy. He almost chuckles.

He heads out to his bedroom where he has laid his clothes for the day out on his bed. He discards his towel for his briefs and no sooner has he put them on does he hear the sound get sucked out of the room. “Don’t tell me your connecting with me while in various states of undress is becoming a habit.” Instead of his usual flat voice there seems to be a slight lightness in his tone.

“I could same the same thing to you,” Rey says.

Kylo turns to see Rey has discarded her shirt and is only wearing her arm and chest wraps. Her flesh glistens and strands of her umber hair stick to her nest in humid curls. “Got a workout in this morning did we?” he asks.

“What else am I to do?”

“Fair point.”

He resumes to dress, not wanting his stare to cause her discomfort, and slips on his black pants and undershirt. He’s just about to don his thick over shirt when he hears a “Hm” behind him. It’s thoughtful and he can almost hear those gears in her head grinding. He turns to where Rey has taken a seat on her bed, her hands under her thighs.

“Yes?”

“Why black?”

“Why do I wear black?”

“Yes.”

Rey notices the pointed corners of Kylo’s mouth turn ever so slightly upwards. “Well, it matches the mask -”

“But you don’t wear the mask anymore,” she interrupts.

He pauses. “It’s slimming and it adds to the air of my title as Supreme Leader.”

“You don’t need to wear black to appear slimming,” the slightest bit of pink saturates her cheeks. “But I get the need for intimidation. Is that why you insist on wearing the cloak?”

He’s sat on his bed now tucking his pants into his boots. “What’s wrong with the cloak?”

“It’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think?”

“That’s the point,” he says standing up. He strolls over to where he deposited his cloak last night, on a white chaise lounge in the corner. He picks it up and swishes it behind him, letting it settle on his shoulders and drape elegantly down to the floor.

Rey tries to hide a grin, “Well, at least you got rid of the cowl.”

“What was wrong with the cowl?”

“It was too high up on your neck, cut you off. Made your neck look short.”

Kylo would have to note that later to his tailor, no more cowls. He moves to pull on his gloves. “So if not black then what color would you have me wear?”

Rey is thoughtful of a minute. “Taupe and cream. It would bring out the brown in your eyes.”

He turns to watch as she fades through the bond.

 

XXXX

 

Rey lays awake in her cell. She’s been on the Finalizer for a couple months now and has fallen into a routine. Kylo summons her to his chambers about once every few weeks - more frequently through their bond - and their conversations usually consist of trivial things. They haven’t talked about Han’s death, their bond, Kylo’s confession to her or of the events that happened on the Supremacy. She’s not bothered by it. In fact, she’s relieved. She’s still trying to decipher how she feels about it all.

When she’s not having conversations with Kylo she’s meditating, practicing forms or exercising in her cell. The meals she gets leave little to be desired, but she didn’t expect much from a ship this large. Feeding this many people is a feat in and of itself.

Like clockwork she’s escorted from her cell every other day to shower, and if she’s being guarded by any of Kylo’s personal guards they allow her a little walk around the prison block. She must be the only prisoner at the moment because her strolls have been eerily silent. And then there is her least favorite visitor.

Hux comes like clockwork. Every four days and he’s back with a new form of torture he’s sure will get her talking. He’s tried everything from making small cuts on the skin over her ribs and rubbing salt inside them, to keeping her eyes open for long moments of time with no lubrication, to administering a substance that made her feel like her throat was closing. But she pushed through all of it. Keeping her mind on other things, allowing it to transcend her physical body.

Except, by Rey’s calculations he should have come today. She was surprised when the lights to her cell had shut off signaling 10 p.m. and he had not waltzed in, in all his ginger glory.

But Rey was never so lucky. She’s on the cusp of sleep when the lights turn back on, turning the black of her eyelids to a radiating red.

“Sorry, my dear,” Hux’s crisp accent punctuates the space between them as he strolls in. “I know I’m a bit late, but I was waiting for something to finish.”

As always there are guards behind him pushing the Stabilizer in to the middle of the cell. She’s unceremoniously strapped to it. She doesn’t bother glancing at Hux.

“Don’t you want to know what I was working on?” he asks. When he’s met by silence he continues. “I was working on this.” One of the guards who had just left re-enters with a glass beaker. Inside is a slimy large yellow creature. It has no arms or legs. It just wriggles using the muscles in its body for movement. It’s face - if you could call it that - is pressed against the glass and Rey can distinctly make out a mouth full of tiny, vise-like teeth.

“What is that?” Rey’s voice is filled with repulsion that causes Hux to smile.

“That is a chentlon.” He has taken the beaker from the guard along with a pair of forceps. “They’re indigenous to Dantooine. Normally in the wild they are harmless, feeding on pests that can kill the plant life. But this one, well, this one has been genetically engineered.”

Hux picks up the invertebrate with the forceps. It makes a quiet sucking noise as it’s mouth is detached from the side of the beaker. “Now the bite that was once harmless to humans is incredibly painful. When it’s tiny teeth puncture skin it injects a venom. It’s not poisonous, but when it mixes with the bloodstream it creates a burning sensation. And as your blood courses through all your little veins and arteries so does that burning feeling. I thought you’d like to help me see how it works.”

Rey’s mouth is lifted in a disgusted sneer. She knows struggle is futile, so she settles into her mind ready for whatever pain comes. Unfortunately she is not ready for the chentlon.

Hux attaches it to her upper arm and a turbulent blaze alights just under her flesh. It soon spreads up to the top of her shoulder then to the nape of her neck. When it makes its way to her brain the heat is unbearable. The sensation is an immolation. She opens her mouth and screams.

 

XXXX

 

Kylo bolts upright in his bed. Once the fog of sleep has made its way from his mind he looks around. That’s when he sees her. Rey is screeching harshly and is strapped to a Stabilizer and there is something utterly grotesque protruding from her arm.

He gets out of bed and gets closer. Her shrieks grow louder as their distance between each other shrinks. The protrusion is some animal. All at once he puts the pieces together. Hux must be torturing her in the middle of the night using this _thing_ as his method.

Rey’s face is red and Kylo can feel a very faint sensation of flames licking at his consciousness. If she’s feeling even ten times the furor that he is feeling - he doesn’t want to think about it. He wonders how she’s still conscious.

Due to the pain, Rey doesn’t realize that her bond to Kylo has opened. He goes to stand in front of her and he faintly brushes the back of his bare hand across her cheek. He notices her eyes move to his, and for a short moment recognition shines in the small green flecks of her eyes.

Kylo moves in until his mouth is just next to her ear. “You’re not alone,” he whispers. “You’re not alone.”

He doesn’t know how many times he repeats it, or for how long Hux tortures her, but he doesn’t stop until she has blacked out and Hux has left.

 

XXXX

 

Rey wakes up to the feeling of warm hands on her clammy forehead. It takes a few blinks of her eyes before she sees a blonde haired woman hovering over her in a crouch. The next sensation she has is of something cold and wet coating her groin and down her legs. Her eyes ignite with horror as she realizes she’s pissed herself.

“Shh, it’s alright,” the woman’s voice is soft and soothing. “We’re going to get you some new clothes and a shower. I’ll be right back.”

The woman exits the cell and is back in a few moments. She places a pile of clothes on the bed. Rey takes in her crisp gray uniform and hair neatly coiled in a bun. A peaked cap covers her head. “Just tap on the door when you’re done changing. I’m sure you don’t want to walk to the showers in what you’re wearing now.” No, indeed she did not.

The disorientation melts from Rey’s mind as she remembers last night. She then turns to look at her bare shoulder and sees the ugly gash left by the chentlon. It looks angry and purple and it still stings a bit.

She sits up and pulls her knees halfway towards her body, she places her elbows on them and then places her head in her hands. How much longer could she take Hux’s torment? It had only been a few months and he was already upping the ante. Her only hope was that he continued with his pattern of changing methods every time he entered her cell. She didn’t know if she could withstand another session like last night.

The agony was so intense she wasn’t even able to center herself, to think of other things. How had she gotten through it? Her brain snapped back like a rubber band as she remembered seeing Kylo’s face, feeling his hand touch her cheek through the bond.

_You’re not alone._

 

XXXX

 

Kylo sits at his desk when the chime to his door sounds. He presses a button on his console and the it ascends. Rey walks in escorted by an officer. “Thank you, Alexxus,” he nods towards her escort in dismissal and stands.

He rounds the desk and approaches Rey. “How are you feeling?” he asks. He’s tentative to place his hands on her, not sure to her reaction. She’s disheveled. Her hair is still stuck to her forehead and the wound on her shoulder hasn’t been dressed.

“I’m fine. A little disoriented still. I’m sorry if I stink. She said I would get a shower,” she waves her hand after Alexxus.

He snorts at her candor. “Yes, I almost forgot. Please follow me. I thought using my personal refresher would be more comfortable.” He takes her through the side door of his office and into his private quarters. A large black wall hides the office entrance from the room, and when they move beyond it Rey is greeted with a sight of tidiness and discipline.

Kylo’s bed is perfectly made with his bedding tucked into sharp corners at the foot of the bed. The bed is large and is flanked by side tables holding white rectangular lamps. It is separated from the sitting room and kitchen by a black half wall. Books line the wall’s top. In the corner is a white chaise lounge and there is another door parallel to the length of the bed.

The sitting room and kitchen are an open floor plan. A white couch and chair face towards a holoscreen and a large wall of floor to ceiling glass windows. There is a glass coffee table in the middle.

The kitchen is separated from the sitting area by a breakfast bar with three white barstools. The kitchen is a crisp white with a stainless steel icebox, caf brewer and sink. Rey has never seen anything this nice nor this large.

“The fresher is right through there. You’ll find everything you need, as well as a fresh set of clothes,” Kylo motions to his hand toward the door off the bedroom.

Still in awe of the space she goes in.

 

XXXX

 

Rey exits the room 30 minutes later to find Kylo starting out of the large windows. “Is this what you’re always staring out of when we connect through the bond?” she asks.

He turns to her, “Most of the time. I find the limitless aspect of space to be comforting.”

She raises her eyebrows and nods while chewing on her lip. She isn’t sure how she should approach the next thing she wants to say. “Er,” she begins. “Thank you. You know, for last night.”

“Well, I couldn’t just leave you there. I wouldn’t have gotten any sleep otherwise,” he deadpans, but when he looks over she shows no signs of amusement. He clears his throat. “I once told you, you weren’t alone and you told me I wasn’t either. I meant it.”

“I just didn’t think the Supreme Leader of the First Order would find sympathy for the torture of a lowly scavenger from Jakku.” She’s quiet for a beat before saying, “So did I.”

“When you came to me on the Supremacy I knew there was only one way your meeting with Snoke would go. I knew he would invade your mind. I knew the pain of that. In some ways that’s worse than physical torture because at least the physical pain fades. But when someone forces their way inside your brain you have nowhere to hide, and that feeling it sticks with you, no matter how old you get.” His words hit her like a shuttle. Sometimes she forgets he’s talking from experience.

He moves from the windows and motions for her to come sit down on the couch. He reaches for a bacta pad sitting on the coffee table and begins to administer it to her arm.  

“You invaded my mind once, remember?” she asks.

“Yes, but I had good reason.” She quirks her eyebrow at him in a sideways glance. “The first sight I got of you on Takodana showed me a creature so intriguing I knew I couldn’t let you leave without getting inside your head.”

“So I was an experiment?”

“No! No.” A small tone of frustration touches Kylo’s voice. “I just knew there was something special about you, and I was right. I would never have led you to Snoke if I knew you couldn’t handle it. You probing back into my thoughts in retribution for my doing the same proved to me that you could handle anything, and that you were meant for great things.”

“Yeah, like sitting in a First Order cell exercising between torture sessions.” She notices he glances down to his feet in a small admission of shame for her predicament.

She continues to look out at the billions of stars spread out against the blackness from her spot on the couch next to him. She saw stars from Jakku often enough, but it was never like this. Despite where she currently was, she knew Finn taking her hand and stealing the Millennium Falcon was the best impulsive decision she had ever made. Maybe this experience would be similar.

Rey chuckles.

“What?” Kylo asks

“My time on Takodana and on Starkiller were the first times I had ever seen the color green in such multitudes or felt the cold of snow.”

Kylo thinks of this for a moment. He definitely was lucky in his life. Having been born on Chandrila and then seeing various places by traveling with either of his parents, and staying with Luke at the Jedi temple had afforded him a luxury he didn’t even realize was a luxury.

The corners of his mouth turn up in a miniscule smile, “I hope they aren’t your last.”

 

XXXX

 

Rey pants hard like a fathier after a long distance race. Her vision is blurry and she yet again finds herself on her cell floor. _It’s becoming a habit,_ she thinks.

Hux just left only a few minutes ago with his latest torture method. He has continued with various chetlons, but each tortures in different ways. Today’s method was through blood loss. The chetlon having been a putrid green creature, sucks the blood out of its host at an alarmingly rapid rate. The dizziness fell over Rey like a curtain just after 10 minutes.

The room starts to hollow and she looks up at a dark figure. “Rey?” Kylo says when he kneels next to her.

He stands up and turns to various faces staring back at him from around a large conference table. “Leave me,” he says, the timbre of his voice leaving no room for protest. The official can’t move fast enough.

He reaches for the comm on his belt. “I need medical to prison block cell number 1191, right away.” The order is confirmed and he turns back to the image of Rey on the floor.

Her complexion is pale and waxy. “What did he do now?” he asks.

His gaze roves her body and notices a new bite just under the one from a couple weeks ago. “Dammit!” his curse echoes around the empty room.

“Ben,” Rey whispers.

“Yes, I’m right here.” He turns back to her and kneels down next to her taking her hand and smoothing back her hair. It’s soft and light under his fingertips like feathers.

“Tell me about the Knight . . the Knights of Ren,” she requests

He is confused by her question, but knows from experience with his mother you don’t question a woman in distress, you just indulge.

“Well, they are fellow students of mine from Luke’s temple.” He swallows hard. The moral dilemma of what were to happen if she leaves First Order custody flashes through his mind. _Fuck it!_ He thinks, _she won’t remember any of this._ “They call me the Jedi Killer but I didn’t kill the other students. When I woke up to Luke looming over me with his lightsaber I fled, trapping him in the debris of my hut. I ran to the temple and told the others. There was a group that believed me and then there was a group that didn’t. A fight broke out and it was the others who eventually killed the rest of the students in combat.”

She listlessly nods her head. “And?”

“There are seven of us including myself. The power dynamics have changed, however, since I’ve become the Supreme Leader and can no longer take active leadership of them. So, Seppo Ren leads them now. He is joined by Akoni Ren, Janus Ren, Onoro Ren, Talon Ren, and Ula Ren. Three men and three women. Snoke and I decided that it helped balanced their impulses and emotions if we had an equal number of men and women. Fuck, where is that medical assistance?”

“They have such funny names. Who comes up with them?” she asks a bit delirious.

“No one. Those were their names they were given at birth.”

He faintly hears her whisper, “Those poor, poor children.” He would have laughed if it weren’t for her current state. “Why were you the only one who got a new name?”

“Snoke banned the name Ben Solo. It carried too much weight, too much of the past. I had to become a new person. I took the name Kylo meaning sky.”

“Skywalker,” she responds.

“Skywalker,” he whispers. “Rey, why are you asking me these questions?”

Her throat bobs with a swallow. “I need something to think about while he tortures me. I find it helps me to center myself by thinking about questions that I have that are unanswered and then trying to answer them.”

“Sir, medical has arrived at cell 1191,” the voice of Alexxus come from Kylo’s belt, and he notices Rey’s gaze moves past him towards where he assumes the door to her cell is.

The sound is pushed back into the room leaving Kylo Ren holding the air.

“Skywalker,” he whispers.

 

XXXX

 

Kylo Ren walks past a neat line of Stormtroopers in the Finalizer’s hangar bay. This particular battalion has just graduated to active duty, and it’s his his job as Supreme Leader to inspect them before they enter the field.

As Kylo takes in the immaculate white of the troopers uniforms the noise around him gets sucked into a tunnel. “What are you doing?”

He has to stop everything inside him that wants to smile at her inquisitive tone. “I am inspecting troops.”

“Where do you get the Stormtroopers?” she asks. Finn never really told her. There had really never been time between fleeing Jakku and his injury on Starkiller.

“If someone owes a debt to the First Order, the Order can then take their child as payment, but the child can also be taken for treason, disobedience and other crimes. We collect the children at a young age and bring them to facilities on Coruscant for conditioning. There are several stages of conditioning they have to go through as well as combat and survival training. Once they are old enough their battalion becomes active, and they get conditioning at regular intervals to make sure they stay compliant.” He rattles off this information as if he’s reading from some First Order propaganda pamphlet.

Rey is silent in response and he turns to look at her. Her hazel eyes have turned dark and cold and her small mouth is upturned in a frown.

“What?” he asks.

“That’s barbaric. That’s basically slavery and you support it. I thought you were better than that. I don’t even want to look at you.” Her feelings must feed into the bond because she disappears. Kylo turns and violently topples a cart filled with tools. He then lifts a small sonic actualizer with th Force and throws it against the wall shattering it into a shower of durasteel and sparks.

He turns towards the Stormtroopers. They’re still facing forward like he hasn’t just wrecked the area around them. With their masks they look like robots. “Get out of my sight!” he screams.

 

XXXX

 

“You wanted to see me, Re -” Hux clears his throat. “Supreme Leader.” He stands straight like his black general’s uniform and long cloak have been starched with him inside it.

Kylo points to a seat in front of his desk. “Yes, Hux please take a seat.” Hux complies. “I would like a report on any progress you’ve made with the scavenger.”

Hux’s gloved hands relax on his knees. “I wish I had something to report. I have tried numerous methods of extracting information, but she refuses to tell where her rebel scum friends are hiding.” Kylo just stares at him. Hux’s pale mouth twitches. “How are your interrogations going, sir?”

“Oh, just fine. She’s very strong in the Force and has a very strong mental block, but I suspect to be through it in a few more session with her,” he says. His eyes rove over Hux’s face and he knows everything he just said has gone over his head. Hux is a simpleton and the Force means nothing to him.

In reality, it’s been a week since Kylo has seen Rey through their bond or otherwise. It’s put him on edge and a lot of the personnel have done their best to avoid him.

“However, General that is not why I wanted to see you. I wanted to inform you of a new decree I have enacted, effective immediately.” Hux raises his narrow chin and looks down his large nose at Kylo. “I have decided to change the way in which we recruit troopers. From now on we will only be taking volunteers, but at a great incentive. The families of those who volunteer will receive a sizeable tax break, and individuals who volunteer will receive salaried pay.”

Hux’s face starts to rise in redness like a thermometer. Kylo thinks if he continues without breathing his head will just explode. After a few moments, Hux begins to return to his natural sallow color. “Very good, sir. Anything else?” he asks.

“No, General. You are dismissed.”

Hux stands and bows. “Thank you, sir.”

Kylo doesn’t miss the contempt in his voice.

 

XXXX

 

Rey likes the feel of the sweat that drips its way down her spine. She’s shadow boxing in her cell, hands moving fast and legs strongly bouncing her around her makeshift square. She used to watch the men on Jakku street fight sometimes at the Nima Outpost. She always wanted to join in, but knew they wouldn’t stop at fighting.

The door opens and Alexxus is there ever the image of neatness and order. “I don’t want to see him,” Rey says.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but this time it isn’t a request,” she says.

Rey rolls her eyes and follows the orderly official out.

When Rey enters Kylo’s quarters he is setting down the last piece of silverware on a completely set table. There are plates of fruits, meat, and cheeses between the two sets of placewear. As soon as Rey is inside Alexxus silently disappears. “Thank you for joining me,” Kylo says in a timid voice. His tone reminds Rey of way he pleaded with her after the battle in the throne room when he was offering her his hand and the whole galaxy with it.

“I didn’t really have a choice,” she says.

He flinches. “Please, take a seat.” He pulls the chair out for her and she sits. “Help yourself,” he says.

Rey’s thin fingers start to rove over the various offerings. She picks a few morsels and places them on her plate. Kylo follows suit.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry for the other week,” he says. She stays silent. _She’s not going to make this easy,_ he thinks. “I made a new decree today. About the troopers.” Her reflexes betray her as her eyebrow piques in curiosity. “It’s been changed to a 100 percent volunteer program. No more acquiring children to fill the ranks.”

She stops with a piece of cheese halfway to her mouth. She gently replaces it onto her plate and brushes her hands against each other, ridding them of the crumbs. “Ben,” she starts then clamps her mouth shut. Her brows furrow. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I, um, I did it for you, though. I started to think about what you said about it being slavery, and well, that’s not the kind of government I want to run,” he stares down at his plate with a determined expression gracing his features, his hands balanced on either of his thighs underneath the table.

“I’m happy you feel that way,” she says smiling. _I still believe in Ben Solo,_ she thinks.

Kylo clears his throat and starts to eat. Rey picks up her piece of cheese and takes a bite.

 

XXXX

 

After their meal Rey and Kylo take seats on the couch. “Ben?” she inquires.

“Hm?” he responds.

“Will you tell me about your childhood?” she asks. The shock must be blindly apparent on his face because Rey quickly adds, “You don’t have to if you don’t feel comfortable.”

Kylo, still balancing his lightly fisted hands on his thighs, lets out a stream of  “wells” and “ums.” “Uh, when I was seven my father and I built a pod racer.” His voice tilts up at the end of the sentence almost as if it’s a question like he’s asking if that’s the kind of thing she was looking for.

“No way!”

“Yeah, it was an open pod with octagonal yellow and green striped engines. I used to race it around Chandrila’s countryside.”

The image of seven-year-old Kylo pops into Rey’s vision and she fights to keep the giggles to herself. If they were to escape it would end their conversation.

“Then when I was nine, my father kept begging my mother to let me go on one of his smuggling runs with him. She adamantly objected, of course. So, my father decided to trick her. In the middle of the night, he woke me up and we left on the Falcon with Chewie and R2. He had mentioned to my mother the day before he had received a job smuggling goddissite, which is a really rare gemstone. We were really just going to Cato Neimoidia then to Trandosha and back to Chandrila, and our whole trip my mother kept trying to hail us on the comm. My father just ignored it. It was a boy’s trip he explained to me.” Kylo leans toward Rey in what seems like a secretive gesture. “When we arrived back in Chandrila, the first thing my mother did was slap him across the face,” with every word of the tale Kylo’s face grows lighter and lighter.

Rey’s response to the tale is a loud cackle that causes Kylo to give his signature small smile. To him it’s a burst of fission sound in the air between the two of them. He wants to know if he can make her laugh again. He begins to think about his teenage years and his face quickly falls.

“There was also the time my parents decided we needed to take a family vacation, so we packed up the Falcon and headed for Naboo. I was 14 at the time, I think. Anyway, it was a terrible vacation. Once we got there my father disappeared to Naboo’s black market and my mother smoozed politicians. I spent most of my time swimming from our lake house to this small island in the middle of the lake. Then I would lay out on the sand and let the sun dry me while I listened to the birds sing. It was so peaceful. For some reason, I felt like I had maybe been there before.”

“I hear Naboo is beautiful. A few traders came to the Nima Outpost one time and I overheard them talking about it. The lakes, the waterfalls, the palace and even the Gungan’s and their underwater cities. I’d love to see it someday.”

Kylo wants to tell her he would take her, but he knows it’s impossible. Not with the way things are now. He stays silent for a moment then speaks up again, his voice hesitant. “All of that was before the nightmares, though.”

“Nightmares?”

“Yeah, um, I began to have them just after we got back from Naboo. They always existed of various terrible, horrific things like me crashing my pod racer or falling out of a rescue pod before it was completely sealed. But once I turned 16 I started to wake up before the worst parts happen. I never got to the heart of the nightmares. This voice always interrupted me, pulled me out of them. The same one I told you about a few months ago. It always seemed very young, but it was comforting. It followed me no matter where I went, and would soothe me and help my breathing become regular again,” he shakes his head. “Looking back on it now I sound certifiable.”

Rey reaches over and grabs his hand. “I don’t think it’s crazy.” Her thumb starts to stroke over his knuckles. They can hardly make it from his pinky to his forefinger his hands are so large and hers so small. “I had a voice when I was little too. I used to think it was an imaginary friend, but since reexamining my memories I definitely think it was a sentient voice. But even if it wasn’t, I know it made me feel less alone.”

“Yeah, mine too.”

 

XXXX

 

Kylo doesn’t have Rey escorted back to her cell until the early hours of the morning. He found her presence comforting and a welcome change from the loneliness of being Supreme Leader.

He finds it curious, however, that not only did he have a voice accompanying him when he was younger, but that she did too.

Perhaps that’s just what happens when children are lonely in such a large galaxy.

Laying in his bed with the covers pulled up to his waist, Kylo feels vulnerable and raw. It chafes him and he finds it supremely uncomfortable, but it’s also new and different just like that girl’s mind was when he met her on Takodana.

 

XXXX

 

It has been a few weeks since Kylo’s conversation with Rey about his childhood. He hasn’t been able to see her, and their bond hasn’t connected them as often as he would like. He makes a mental note to make their in-person visits more frequent as he strolls back to his personal quarters.

The Finalizer is quiet. It’s late at night and there are only a few small patrols. They salute him when he passes. He doesn’t return it.

As soon as he’s in his rooms he hears the noise around him dim courtesy of the bond. He turns to look and sees Rey is already asleep, her breathing even in the rise and fall of her chest. She’s laying in her left side and has her left hand tucked up under her chin in a lightly held fist.

Kylo can’t help himself as he gives a small smile and a long stare to the sleeping creature. A few moments later he notices her legs pull up towards her chest in a shiver. Without thinking Kylo pulls off his cloak and drapes it over Rey’s slight form. She stops shivering almost at once.

A smile still plays across his face as she fades from view. He sighs through his nose and gets ready for bed.

 

XXXX

 

The next morning Rey wakes feeling warm. She pulls the black cloak up to her chin sleepily, and then stops. She stares down to the fabric fisted in her hand and recognizes the smell of leather polish and mint aftershave. “Ben?” she questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos. I thought I'd go ahead and post the second chapter because I'm sort of on a roll right now. This chapter's song is Mess is Mine by Vance Joy. Please please please comment. It literally fuels my writing. It's like gas in my writing car. Anyway, also a small note: from this chapter through chapter six take place during a period of two months give or take.


	3. The Last of the Real Ones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey's imprisonment and torture upon the Finalizer continues, but she and Kylo Ren start to feel things that might just set them free.

_"I know this whole damn city thinks it needs you, but not as much as I do."_ \- "The Last of the Real Ones" by Fall Out Boy

Rey has been listening to the electric screech and hummings of Kylo’s lightsaber for ten minutes now through their Force bond. She sits with her legs crossed and eyes closed on the floor of her cell trying to block out that violent scream so that her meditation can prove fruitful.

She hears the mechanical tumult grow louder as he feints a parry and counter attacks with a vibrant slash. She opens her eyes and trains them on him in a glare, but her gaze cools as she watches him spar his invisible opponent. He’s wearing his normal black pants tucked into black leather boots, but he’s removed is over shirt and kept on his black tank top. There is sweat dripping down his neck, muscled arms, and through his obsidian hair, and though she blushes at the sight it’s his fighting style that catches her interest.  

His technique is a mixture of formal training and street brawler. She first noticed this when fighting the Praetorian guards with him. It’s hard to believe that was only a handful of months ago.

She had noted that utilized not just the use of his saber but also the use of his brute strength and body. He’s not afraid to throw fists, elbows, and feet to disarm opponents while his weapon hand quickly kills with a move of athletic finesse.

Rey knows she has yet to find her own fighting style, but when she does she wants it to be at least half as diverse as Kylo’s. She doesn’t want to find herself in a predicament that she can’t get out of.

As she observes Kylo’s training, Rey notices that he keeps having to push his shoulder-length hair out of his eyes. “You know, that wouldn’t be a problem if you put it up,” she offers.

He stops and disengages his lightsaber. The red of the blade and crossguards goes quiet. “What?”

“Your hair,” she points to the top of his head. “It’s getting in your eyes. It makes you a less effective fighter. If you just tied it up it wouldn’t be such a nuisance.”

He toes at a piece of lint on the floor with his boot. “I . . . I don’t like having my hair tied up.”

“Why not?” He mumbles something still very interested in the spot on the floor. “What was that?”

“Because then it will show my ears,” he says and looks up into her eyes. The light of self-consciousness shines in his russet orbs while a coral color permeates his face.

“What’s wrong with your ears?” she inquires.

“They’re too big,” his voice is quietly painful.

“So?”

He gives a frustrated sigh. “It’s embarrassing. My mother used to call me her little bird when I was a child. I hate them.”

To Rey’s credit she doesn’t laugh. Quite the contrary, she doesn’t find this funny at all. “I don’t think they’re too big. Plus, wouldn’t it be better to be alive and with big ears than dead and not able to worry about if your ears are too big?” she reasons.

Kylo spins the pommel of his saber from one naked hand to another while he chews the inside of his lip. Suddenly, Kylo points a long finger at the trooper standing at his post just outside the training room door. “You,” he says. The trooper turns and faces him. “Bring me an elastic band.” With a curt “yes, Supreme Leader,” the trooper is out the door.

Rey gives a large closed-mouth smile, but she still feels Kylo’s reluctance. “You’ll see,” she assures before returning to her meditations.

The trooper returns within a few moments and hands the elastic to Kylo. He looks down to the piece of rubber in his hand. The Supreme Leader has definitely seen one of these before, but they’ve always been in hair. The steps taken, however, between now and the finished product is as elusive as the dark side of a moon. He clears his throat, “Um, Rey?” She pops one eye open and looks at him. “Could you? You know?” he offers her his hand with the elastic in it.

“Oh! Of course,” she says. She takes the elastic from him. “Get down on your knees in front of me.”

Kylo doesn’t know why, but this command from her sends a chill down his spine and coils low in his stomach. He does as he’s told and immediately relishes in the feeling of Rey’s petite fingers massaging his scalp and pulling at his hair.

Rey is diligent in her work. She pulls a front section of Kylo’s locks back and begins to plait them. Once she reaches the crown, she gathers a bit more hair on the side to the tresses already in her hand, and begins to twist them on top of his head. Finally, she pulls the elastic around the bundle of strands and steps away. “There we go,” she says.

Kylo stands and looks in the reflection of the window in the training room. “Huh,” he says. “It’s really not that bad.”

“You’re almost thirty, Ben, you’ve definitely grown into your ears,” she says with a bright smile.

She settles back down to meditate, but before closing her eyes she watches as Kylo ignites his lightsaber with his right hand accompanied by a light stomp with the same leg. Rey can’t help but let a flood of giggles burst from the dam of her mouth.

Kylo turns to her a tiny bit agitated, “What is it this time?”

“I’ve never noticed how you engage your lightsaber. It’s funny.” He looks confused and a bit insulted that an action that is intended to be menacing is comical. “It’s just you stomp your dominant foot when you ignite it like you’re a tashani ready to charge.”

He lets out a soft growl and a huff of breath from his nose imitating the creature she just referenced. “Aren’t you supposed to be meditating?”

Those melodious giggles yet again make an appearance and so does the subtle lift of Kylo Ren’s mouth.

 

XXXX

 

“You’re kidding me! Luke fought a Rancor?” Rey’s eyes are wide with amazement.

Kylo nods. “Yeah. He went to save my parents from Jabba the Hutt. You see, my grandfather had my father frozen in carbonite and sent to Jabba because my father had a debt owed to the slug that he hadn’t paid back.”

“That sounds about right,” Rey interjects reminiscing about the time the Kanjiklub and the Guavian Death Gang had showed up on Han’s freighter carrying the rathtars.

“Well, my mother had gone a few weeks earlier disguised as a bounty hunter trying to collect a bounty on Chewie. He was such a big prize that Jabba let my mother stay in his posse for a while, and while there, she freed my father from carbonite, but was immediately caught. Well, the only one left is Luke, so he goes in and Jabba drops him into his Rancor pit and Luke kills it by dropping its own gate on it.”

“Wow,” Rey replies. “But he just seems so . . .”

“Old?”

“Reclusive,” Rey and Kylo respond at the same time. She chuckles.

They’re back in Kylo’s quarters. It’s now become a weekly occurrence that Rey is escorted to his chambers and they have dinner followed by sitting and chatting. So far, it’s been conversations like these. Nothing controversial enough to put them on opposite sides of a discussion, but also nothing that addresses the nexu in the room.

“Rey?” Kylo ventures. He knows that what he’s about to ask could potentially be in safe territory, but sometimes there is no telling with Rey. He turns to look at her and sees that her eyes are already trained on his face. Those tawny colored eyes with flecks of olive search his features and he’s never felt more exposed.

What was it about her eyes that could strip him of every barrier he’s ever had? Ever since he met her in that forest on Takodana he knew there was something in her that he would never be able to escape from. Now, after these past few months, he wasn’t sure he wants to, loyalties and oaths be damned. She fascinates him in the same ways that the boundlessness of spaces does when he looks out his viewport. And just like the galaxy, he has this feeling that he’s only ever seen a small piece of her, which is what leads him to his question.

“Will you tell me about your childhood?”

Rey’s eyes widen. Kylo’s are back to that same bright bronze color that they were before when they took on Snoke’s guards. They flicker from her eyes to her lips and then down to her hands and back up to start all over again. The movement makes something deep inside her grow with heat. She swallows thickly and pushes it from her mind before it becomes sweltering. “It’s not really exciting. There’s nothing to really tell,” she explains.

“I understand if you don’t want to,” Kylo says. Rey can visibly see a wall start erecting itself brick by brick over his face.

She takes his hand. The skin to skin contact halts the construction of the wall. “No, I will, but I apologize beforehand if it’s dull.” He smiles this time, a real smile that stretches across his features and reaches the corners of his eyes. “That’s nice,” she says.

“What?”

“You’re smile,” she smiles back in response. “Well, one dry season,” she starts, but Kylo quickly interrupts her.

“On Jakku isn’t a dry season all year round?”

She gives a slight laugh. “You would think, but there are actually moments where the heat is even worse.” Kylo shakes his head trying to get what his imagination has created in his head out of it. “So, one dry season I was scavenging this Imperial dreadnought. It had crashed landed on its side and I was scaling the interior. I was finishing up for the day and I was coming down from one of the levels when about eleven feet from the bottom my harness broke and I fell. I broke my arm. Luckily, I was able to load up what I salvaged on my speeder. I got to the Nima Outpost and traded in my items to Unkar Plutt for rations. Then I headed to the medical outpost. They secured my arm but it had cost me all the rations I had made that day, and since I couldn’t scavenge very well with a broken arm I didn’t make a lot of rations that month. I went hungry for quite a while and it took even longer to get back to feeling normal.”

Kylo looks down to Rey’s arm the same one that is now holding his hand. He brushes the skin of it slightly with his other hand. “I’m not sure what to say,” he replies.

“You don’t have to say anything. It happened and now it’s done. It’s funny I didn’t want to leave Jakku for so long, but looking back I see now that I was just existing in a state of slavery. I’m thankful that Poe and Finn crash-landed there, and that Finn dragged me with him off that stupid rock.” Anger flares her nostrils, but after a few breaths it abates.

“That’s something I always believed should be tackled by the First Order, but it never fell onto Snoke’s primary agenda. But I knew there had to be some way to pass laws against cheap labor like that,” Kylo says.

Rey smiles, “Ben, your politician is showing.”

He takes his hand back and uses it to rake his fingers through his hair. “What do I know? I wouldn’t even know the first thing about enacting something like that.”

“I think it’s a good idea. I think you should keep thinking on it. Maybe you’ll come up with something.” There is a beat of silence and in it Kylo is jarred that someone believes in him. He’s never felt that support before. “You know, you would think growing up on Jakku I would like sand, but I absolutely detest it,” Rey interrupts his reverie. “It gets everywhere and it’s hard to get out again. I was lucky when I found my abandoned AT-AT to settle in. There was a chamber completely untouched by the coarseness, so that’s where I set up my bed. I hated the feeling of sleeping on the little granules. It was so annoying.” She screws up her face in exasperation.

Kylo lets out a deep laugh at it, but he can completely understand her hate for the texture.

“But it was Jakku’s sunsets that were my favorite. I would sit outside my shelter and eat while the sun dipped below the dunes. It would bathe everything in a glow of yellow, purple and light pink. They were gorgeous, but they were also lonely. I can remember having this aching want to watch them with someone. I could sit between their legs and they would hold me. I could lean back and set my head on their shoulder while their chin rested on the top of my head.”

Kylo can’t help but feel the same kindred agony. He knows all too well the loneliness that she talks about.

“But they only got really lonely when I was older. When I was still a little girl I had that voice to keep me company. It sounded older and deeper so it felt distinctly male. I always wondered what it would look like if it were a person. But one day it was there and then one day it wasn’t. Looking back I think I know why I kept that memory from myself. The feeling after it left was so hollow and I felt so broken.” Fat drops start to slip from Rey’s eyes, wetting her long dark lashes. “The only time I have to compare it to was when I entered the dark on Ach’ To. They were both so cold and lonely in the same way.”

Before he knows what he’s doing Kylo is taking Rey’s face in his hands, gently cupping her damp cheeks on either side. She’s slippery but warm. “You are not alone, Rey. You’re not. You have me. Until the last star in the galaxy dies, you have me,” his voice is deep, determined. There’s a small vibrato in the timbre of it that solidifies his declaration. And Rey can feel it in her heart, and she knows that he means every word.

 

XXXX

 

Rey knows who’s at the door even before it fully opens. Hux saunters in followed by his ever present guards who wheel in the Stabilizer. In no time Rey is strapped to it and ready for whatever machinations the pasty general has prepared for her today.

Thankfully, this time she has a lot to think about. Kylo’s been busy since their last late night chat. It didn’t end well. Rey had not responded to his intensity. It had scared her. She did not know what to make of it, did not know what he had meant by the declaration.

She isn’t stupid. She knows there are some feelings between them. She knows what is kindling in her spirit is that akin to affection, empathy, understanding and maybe even passion. She wonders, though, if those feelings are reciprocated and if so, what that means for them. Rey knows that if that moment were to ever happen she wouldn’t deny herself this.

Rey is startled from her contemplation by being flipped onto her head. Hux has inverted the Stabilizer and she knows that this can’t mean anything good. “Today we will be experimenting with the effects of low voltage electricity on the human body, and since you were such a good lab rat with the chentlons I decided we should continue to use you to our advantage,” Hux is holding a pair of small prongs in his hands. “I’m going to lightly touch these to your bare feet and we’ll see what happens. The anticipation is killing me, so let’s get started.”

He immediately touches the metal to the arch of her left foot and her knee threatens to jolt into the air. If she wasn’t strapped down it would have. The feeling is like putting her reflexes into hyper-speed. After just one touch her muscles feel tired like she ran up several flights of steps.

Hux touches one of the prongs to her right big toe and a burning sensation travels up to her hip bone. The general continues these tests until Rey can no longer feel her legs.

She’s unceremoniously unstrapped from the Stabilizer and left on the floor of her cell. Once they leave it only takes ten minutes before Alexxus is there helping her onto her bed. She roves over Rey’s body with a med-scanner. “Good news. You haven’t permanently lost the use of your legs,” she discloses

“Bad news?” Rey questions.

“It’ll be a couple of days before you’ll get the use back. Don’t worry, the Supreme Leader has employed me to be your personal caretaker, so I’ll make sure you’re in good hands. Here take this,” she hands Rey a small comm. “If you need anything just let me know.”

Rey nods her thanks and Alexxus leaves her cell.

 

XXXX

 

Kylo sits at his desk in the early evening hours. In front of him is a thick piece of paper, a set of brushes and pots of ink. He delicately holds one of the brushes in his hand and is creating dark strokes upon the paper. He is quiet and gives off an air of calm and control.

“You seem very content,” Kylo almost jumps at the sudden appearance of Rey’s voice. He was so concentrated that he didn’t even hear the bond connect.

He looks up and is confused at first. “Where are you? Oh! Why are you laying down? Do you not feel well?” he asks concern coloring his words.

“Eh, more like I can’t stand. Hux decided to test out low voltage electricity on me. I’ve temporarily lost the use of my legs. Alexxus assures me it will come back in a few days,” Rey explains looking straight up at the ceiling.

The rage saturates the air around her and she props herself up on her elbow and looks over at Kylo. He has set his brush aside and is clenching his fists atop his desk. His eyes are flashing black and she knows exactly what he’s thinking. She can see his right hand drift towards the lightsaber at his hip.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

It takes Kylo a moment and he looks down at his project. The anger starts to lessen. “I’m doing calligraphy,” he says.

“I didn’t know you liked calligraphy.” He nods. “How did that happen? Tell me. Please.”

Her voice is delicate and entreating. He realizes she’s staring at him. He picks up the paper on his desk and comes towards her. He pulls a chair up beside her and shows her what he was working on. It’s her name written in a thoughtful, elegant script. The lines swirl and swoosh, thick lines becoming thin and vice versa. “It’s easy really. It just takes practice. I do it to help with my mindfulness. I took it up just shortly after joining Luke at the Jedi temple. The other students and I took a day to go to the market in the town a few hours away from us. I saw an old woman with withered hands practicing script and selling some of her works as well as calligraphy supplies. I couldn’t stop watching her, couldn’t stop watching how the brush roamed over the paper leaving the darkest jet in its path. I was mesmerized. Then when she looked up and saw how intently I was watching she asked if I wanted to learn. For a year I would go to her once a month and she would teach me calligraphy. It was one of the only times I felt at peace.”

Seeing that the ink has dried Rey takes her finger and traces her name. This man keeps on bewildering her day and in day out. Whether it’s with his decrees or the fact that he loves something soulful like calligraphy she keeps finding new layers deep within him.

She begins to pick back up that thoughtful thread from before about their feelings, and it’s with this piece of beautiful art that Rey knows that she’s not the only one of the two of them that is feeling it. _Don’t be afraid. I feel it too_ , it flashes in her cerebellum.

Her eyelids start to grow heavy. “I love it,” she whispers turning her face to see that he is very close to her. “Ben, I’m tired. Will you do me a favor and cover me with your cloak? It’s under my pillow.”

He reaches under the linen and pulls out the massive black fabric. He gently drapes it over her and pulls it up to her chin. “Do you sleep with it every night?” She nods. “You really like it don’t you?”

“I take back what I said about it earlier. It’s nice. It smells like you.” Feeling content, Rey slips off into sleep just as the bond slips close.

Kylo sighs as Rey becomes the wisp of an image. He can’t help but feel like he’s in trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song for this chapter is The Last of the Real Ones by Fall Out Boy. I hope you all are enjoying the fic. Please comment. Kudos are great, but comments are best!


	4. Kiss Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Rey discuss a new Jedi Order and spend some quality time together. Meanwhile Hux has some plans of his own.

_"Kiss me like you want to be loved."_ \- "Kiss Me" by Ed Sheeran

The training room is bright with the light from the planet the Finalizer is orbiting around, and it hits Kylo’s closed eyes as a film of crimson. He and Rey are deep in meditation practicing probing each other’s mind and taking turns putting up mental barriers.

It had been a few weeks since Kylo made his declaration to Rey that loneliness was a thing of the past for her, and he wanted to make that true. So, he had suggested they start meditating together and keeping each other partially in their consciousness.

For him, her companionship in the back of his mind feels like the first spring day on Chandrila. It is light and airy, filled with numerous scents of flowers first blooming. It is all at once overwhelming and pleasant. He had forgot what good things felt like in his brain, and he was happy Rey was the one reminding him.

On the other hand Rey could feel his slight touch on her sentience, and she was glad that both of their eyes were close because of the blush ascending to the apples of her cheeks. Kylo’s presence was dark and passionate, like taking a lover for the first time after a long period of waiting.

Not that Rey knew at all what that was like. Human contact had been sparse on Jakku, but with Kylo’s influence she felt as if she had experienced that in her short life. She wonders if Kylo has had that knowledge.

 _Think of something else. Anything else,_ she chides herself as that rose color deepens in her cheeks. “Do you think there could be a better Jedi Order?” she asks fluttering her eyes open. _Where in the hell did that come from?_ she asks herself. _Well, you did want to think of something else._

Kylo’s eyes slowly open revealing the concentration of tawny there. “What do you mean ‘better’?” he scoffs with derision. Rey knows that his tone is not aimed at her, but she feels is all the same.

“I don’t know. Maybe instead of only using the light they use a balance of light and dark. When Luke had me first reach out and feel the Force I felt the balance of everything. Everything had an opposite that kept it in balance. Maybe the Jedi failed because they only tried to utilize one side,” she explains.

Kylo thinks about the call to the light he had always scolded himself for feeling, but maybe Rey was right. Maybe there was supposed to be a dichotomy for everything, for everyone. He had rarely practiced the Dark Side since Snoke’s death, but he also hadn’t actively tried to use the Light Side either. “You think peacekeepers would be more effective if they used a combination of both?” he asks.

Rey looks down to her hands. “Yes. I know it sounds stupid -” she starts.

“I don’t think it sounds stupid,” Kylo interrupts. “I think you might be onto something, but who would create this new Order?”

Rey brightens. “We could. You and I.”

He shakes his head. “You maybe, Rey, but definitely not me. I’ve done too much bad. There isn’t enough good in this world that could erase that.”

“Maybe this could be your good, Ben. Maybe this is why we are in each other’s paths.”

Kylo’s Adam’s apple dips as he swallows. Her belief in him is admirable, but unfortunately it is naive. Nothing can save Kylo Ren. Not even a new Jedi Order.

Rey reaches out to touch Kylo’s carved cheek. She doesn’t know what motivates her to do this, but it feels too right not to. “We’re supposed to be doing things together, remember? Don’t let me have this dream alone.”

Kylo raises his hand to touch hers and he nods, but doubt still clouds his mind.

 

XXXX

 

It’s late at night. Rey is lying on her back in her cell. It’s been a few weeks since she saw Kylo in person. He has been in various meetings since they arrived at Ilum’s atmosphere, and when they are connected through their Force bond she is often just a spectator watching and listening in. Kylo hadn’t seemed concerned by this due to the fact that Rey will probably not leave the Finalizer anytime soon, and when she does such information wouldn’t be relevant. Several times, however, he had caught her making fun of various official through the bond, which earned her a small smile or even a laugh covered with a cough.

With the absence of Kylo also comes to absence of Hux’s torture. He too has been busy and she thanks the Maker for that.

Rey continues to stare at the ceiling of her cell in the dark when she hears her door ascend. _Great, just when I thought I had gotten rid of him,_ she think of Hux, but it’s not Hux.

Kylo’s silhouette is in stark contrast against the light that is streaming in from the hallway. Rey sits up and takes in the large figure. “Rey, come with me,” he offers her a bare hand, and she takes it.

She steps out into the clinically white hallway of the prison block, and blinks a couple times to get her eyes adjusted to the sudden bright. As they walk through the hallways she looks over to Kylo. He’s wearing a fancier version of his normal black clothes. The fabric has been switched out for velvet and his cloak is as large and billowy as ever, but instead of the monochrome color palette she notices that the lining is a vibrant crimson and the seams in his shirt and pants match.

“You look smart,” she says.

“Thank you. I was down on Ilum’s surface for a banquet. I hate these clothes, though. They’re so uncomfortable,” he expresses pulling back his cloak and looking down at himself. Rey dips her head in understanding.

The hallways are barren and they reach Kylo’s apartment without meeting anyone. Before they enter the main quarters Kylo turns to face Rey. “I came back early from the banquet because I wanted to show you something. I also don’t like fancy get togethers, but that is not the point.”

He opens the door and all Rey can see is a large planet taking up the whole of the viewport. She is drawn to it like a magnet, and once she’s at the floor to ceiling windows she places her hand on the glass.

Ilum is a planet of sapphire and cobalt, of midnight and indigo with alabaster and ivory interspersed through its atmosphere. The orb clearly sits on an axis because the right lower quadrant of the planet is cloaked in darker blues and almost royal purples until is gradually descends into a depthless pitch.

Rey turns to look at Kylo, “It’s so beautiful. What does it look like on the surface?”

As she turns back around he describes it to her, “It’s calm and covered with bright dark admiral blue skies with the purest of white clouds. The grasses are a beautiful jade and they stretch on for miles in the forms of rolling hills with no interruptions. The lakes and streams are a bright ultramarine and they make music over the rocks and sand.”

She turns back around to Kylo to see that he, too, is peering at the planet below with his hands behind his back. “At this banquet, was there dancing?” she asks

His eyes move from the view to her face. Her eyes are wide and bright, the bit of green reminding him of Ilum’s tall grass plains. Her lips are upturned in a closed-lipped smile and her they are the color of blush. There seems to be a glow beneath her skin that is enticing him closer. “Yes,” he says.

“I’ve never been dancing,” she states.

He steps forward and offers her his hand for the second time that night. “Would you care to dance?”

She looks around. There is space of course, but something is missing. “There’s no music, Ben, and I don’t know how to dance.”

He reaches down and grabs the hand limply hanging at her side. “I’ll teach you.”

With their right hands clasped lightly yet firmly together he takes his left and reaches for her other hand. He secures it in on top of his bicep and then settles his hand at her waist, connecting them in a slightly curved line. “Now when I step forward you take a step back with the same foot and the same goes for when I step backwards you follow forward. When I step sideways you follow suit with the same foot.”

She looks down and watches as he take a step forward with his right foot, so she steps back with the same. Then comes a side step with their left and a step back for him with the right. After a few moments, Rey’s ears pick up on a soft humming and she looks up to realize it’s Kylo. Her inattention causes Kylo to accidentally step on her toe and Rey sucks in a pained breath through her teeth.

“I’m sorry!” he says.

“No that was my fault. Let’s start again.”

The points of their bodies connect again like twin constellations and the more moments pass by the more confident Rey becomes with the steps. “It’s kind of like sparring,” she says down to her feet. Kylo hums in agreement, and soon after he begins to hum again. “Where did the Supreme Leader of the First Order learn to dance?”

“My mother. She insisted on teaching me how to dance. She said one of the best ways to woo politicians was with grace through dancing.”

“Was she wrong?”

“No. You’ve met her. My mother is never wrong.”

Having grown more comfortable, Rey looks up at Kylo through her dark lashes. His saturnine face shows a slight contrast in his small smile, and his bronze eyes have a glassy dreamy look in them. She takes in the scar across his face - her scar - it’s no longer red and angry like it had been at first. Now, after the several months she had been here, it seems to have settled into places. She can’t imagine him without it now. His jet hair looks thick and soft this close up. She almost feels tempted to move her hands to the base of his neck and lace her fingers in the strands.

Being this close to him she finally realizes his height. She would have noticed it earlier if she wasn’t either fighting against him or with him because in those moments she felt every bit his equal. The way his broad shoulders roll back and his wide chest extends out makes confidence fill the air around him like smoke. _He is an impressive individual,_ she thinks.

After what seems like a eon of dancing accompanied by Kylo’s soft humming, Rey finally breaks away wanting to see Ilum one last time before going back to her cell because she’s not delusional. She knows she’s still a prisoner of the First Order.

Again she places her hand against the cold glass, absorbing the immensity of the planet below. She can feel Kylo behind her and sees through the reflection of the window that he has removed his looming cloak and outer shirt leaving him in his pants, boots and tank top.

He comes up behind her, but just enough to leave a foot or so of room between them.

“It reminds of Jakku’s sunset,” Rey states.

She can see Kylo’s smile in the glass. It’s not one of those small, up-lifted corners smile, but a true, teeth-showing smile that reaches to his eyes and makes them shine. “That was my intention. I know it can get lonely being a prisoner and I wanted to give you a small taste of home, the outside world.”

His mention of loneliness makes her think of his declaration to her. “Until every last star in the galaxy dies,” she whispers.

A few seconds later she feels a light fluttering of skin on her shoulder. She turns her head to see the back of Kylo’s hand make a trail down her arm and then slowly back up. “You’re not alone,” he whispers back.

Rey turns around and looks up to him. Slowly, he moves his hands to the exposed skin of the side of her neck where he traces a line to her cheek. He stops and cups it in his large hand. She takes another step forward and lays her hands on his chest. He leans down a places a whisper of a kiss on her lips.

When he pulls back he sees that her eyes are pleading. “You’re not alone,” she says before she fists his undershirt in her hands, and simultaneously pulls him down and herself up until their lips crash against each others. This kiss is an exploration that starts with lips pressed tightly together, crushing teeth against closed lips. Then Kylo opens his lips to leisurely run his tongue over Rey’s. As if he had said the magic words, her mouth opens to him allowing for their exploration to grow deeper. He tastes rich like the smoke from a bonfire and she tastes like the sweet fruit he would pick on Naboo.

Their kiss continues while outside lighting bolts flash in the clouds over Ilum.

 

XXXX

 

General Hux stands on the bridge of the Finalizer in his black uniform and long cloak. His hands are clasped behind his back and there is a very displeased look upon his face. Footsteps echo behind him, and he turns his head to see Captain Sille approaching.

She salutes, “You wanted to see me General?”

“Yes. Please get word out to all the First Order Generals. We are to have a meeting,” he says in a clipped tone.

Sille goes to turn. “Oh, and Captain?” Hux calls out. She turns back around at attention. “Make sure the Supreme Leader knows nothing of this.” She gives a curt nod and makes her way off the bridge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who commented and gave kudos! This chapter's song is Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran. I had a snow day off from work today, so while I was supposed to be working from home I decided to do an update. I hope you enjoy. Please comment and let me know your thoughts!


	5. Fortress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tragedy strikes Kylo Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: there is graphic language and sexual situations in this chapter.

_"Nothing could make me more frightened than the thought of hurting you."_ \- "Fortress" by Bear's Den

A woman stands on the bridge of a star destroyer, everyone around her is dressed in pristine white uniforms. Her silver hair has been pinned off her neck in an elegant twist and crowned with a braid running from behind one ear to the other. She wears an olive green robe with a high collar.

She gives orders. She’s just visited the desert planet of Abafar and is on her way back to her main port. A constant beeping is coming from the radar sensors behind her. They’re being followed by a large ship, a dreadnought. There is an air of urgency onboard the vessel she’s on. They’re fleeing.

The ship is rocked. The dreadnought fires upon them, one energy blast after another. The star destroyer is an old ship. She can’t take this type of punishment. Her shields are down to less than 50 percent. It’s forward thrusters are compromised making it impossible to jump to lightspeed. The woman orders everyone to abandon ship.

She is one of the only souls left aboard the ship when she rushes towards her escape pod. Another explosion rocks the vessel causing her to hold on to the wall. A constant barrage is hitting the craft. She’s almost to the escape pod when an explosion causes debris to go flying. She feels a pain in her side, her hand immediately goes to the spot. When she pulls it away there is the familiar stain of blood.

Finally, she makes it to her pod and launches. She aims for the closest planet, Lah’ Mu. Blood keeps seeping from her wound. There is no medkit in the pod. She rips the hem of her dress to press to her side. She knows it’s no use. She’s losing too much blood.

Sweat pours down her brow and her breathing becomes labored. Finally, her pod lands on the outskirts of a small village, pillowed by the black sand. People come rushing to the pod and the container releases in a soft hiss. She speaks a few inaudible words to a man before she gently closes her eyes and passes.

Rey bolts upright in her bed in her cell. The dream was vivid, but it wasn’t a dream. She can feel the loss in the Force. “Leia,” her voice is just a breath. She jumps up and begins to pound on the door. “I need to see the Supreme Leader! I need to see him right now!”

If she’s felt her passing, surely Kylo has felt it, too. She continues to pound her fists on the door for what seems like 30 minutes until finally it ascends surprising her. There standing in the doorway is Kylo Ren, looking nothing like a man but a spectre, confused and pale.

His hands are shaking and Rey reaches down to grab them. “Ben,” she says. His gaze finally raises from where they were planted on the floor. She kisses the back of his hand and then holds it to her cheek. “Let’s get you back to your rooms,” she says pulling him through to door and out into the hallway. She drapes his arm over her shoulder and then snuggly deposits hers around his waist.

They meet no resistance from anyone in the hallways. No doubt they can tell that the Supreme Leader is in no mood to be questioned. When they get to his quarters they enter to a mess of metal. Kylo has taken his saber to his desk leaving two pieces in his wake. The pieces are smoking and there is glass strewn about the floor.

Rey gets Kylo to take a seat on his bed and she takes a seat next to him holding his hand in her lap. “It’s my fault,” his voice is raw. “I could have saved her. Could have given them the order not to attack, but I didn’t. I didn’t think anyone would get hurt. I didn’t know they would be escaping in a dump heap of a ship!” The words are tumbling out, his naked voice becoming louder with each statement. They hang in the air around them. “I killed my father and now I have killed my mother in my complacency.” The statement is quiet, but most of all, it is sincere.

“Oh Ben, no, that’s not true,” Rey responds.

“Isn’t it?” he questions.

“No. You’re mother knew the risk. She’d done a multitude of missions before this one. She could  have gotten hurt or died on any one of those. She’s been risking her life since before you were born. For people like you and me and her our days are very much numbered. That comes with the job,” Rey explains.

Kylo just stares at the wall. They sit their for a while is a loud silence.  

Finally Rey decides Kylo needs to do something other than wallow. “We’re going to get you to bed, okay?” He nods in response. She starts by slipping off his boots and socks. Then she has him stand up so she can remove his cloak and belt.

She slowly unclasps his outer tunic buttons, and once they are all undone she slips it down off his shoulders. She then untucks his tank top from his pants and pulls it up over his head.

She’s met with a toned torso painted in scars. There is one that moves from below his left pec down to his ride side just in the middle of his ribs. She traces it with her forefinger across his sternum, his breath hitches at the gentleness. He reaches down and grabs her hand and brings her fingertips to his full lips.

Then his large hands move down her arms, still wrapped in cloth, to her waist. He plays with the hem of her tank top before making the decision to pull it over her head. Her breasts are wrapped in the same cloth that wraps her arms. He leans down to kiss her cupping both cheeks with his palms.

It’s soft at first, but soon she can feel his need deepen. A need to heal, to be forgiven, for distraction. She moves her fingers lightly down his chest and she can feel his skin shiver beneath. She knows she can’t save him, that has to happen on his terms, but she can give him this tonight. She wants to give him this.

Rey pulls away abruptly and Kylo’s chestnut eyes reflect a feeling of hurt. “I . . . um, I’ve never done this before,” she confesses.

The look of hurt evaporates from Kylo’s eyes. “I haven’t either, but I’m sure we can figure it out together.”

She doesn’t know why this information surprises her, but now that she thinks of it she supposes it makes sense. When you’re being trapped by a man whose only focus is his need for domination you probably didn’t have enough breaks to explore your most base animal instincts.

Kylo takes Rey’s wrist gently in his hand and untucks her arm wrap, tenderly unwinding it from its place. He mirrors the action on the other arm then he moves to her chest. His hands are feather-light against her, like steam swirling around the air. Once the wrap has been removed he softly palms her breast making her body involuntarily press itself into his touch.

“Ben,” her voice is a breathy sound falling from her mouth, which is quickly smothered by Kylo’s. He starts to move his lips down her neck, but Rey has other ideas. She starts to place small purposeful kisses along his chest. The skin there is salty and he smells of sweat and smokey woods. She gently nips at the flesh that covers his left pec.

She feels him jump a little in surprise. “Sorry,” she says. “I just, well, I’ve been wanting to do that since the first time I saw you without your shirt on.” His gaze goes from astonishment to predatory in a flash and he quickly spins her around so that her back is exposed to him.

He returns her favor when he nibbles on the smooth muscle of her shoulder. He then plants weightless kisses on her neck. She can feel him shift behind her and in her periphery she sees he’s moved to his knees. The sight causes something primitive to coil deep in her stomach.

Kylo pulls double duty as his kisses burn a hot trail down the valley of her spine and his hands knead her breasts. He feels Rey pull at one of his hands bringing it up to her mouth to kiss and suck on his fingertips.

He benevolently grasps her chin and spins her back around. His mouth then plunders her chest. He slips a stiff nipple into his mouth and nips and sucks on it causing whimpers to escape Rey’s mouth. With his hand he tugs on the pink peak of the opposite breast and he rubs his thumb around it like it were a mountain and his finger was the bird circling the summit.

His mouth then moves to her smooth muscular stomach. Rey’s hands come up to explore the velvety labyrinth of his hair, pulling and tugging as waves of pleasure pull and tug on her. Kylo’s fingers trail their way to Rey’s waistband where he unties the drawstring and moves them over her slim  hips. He pulls back.

She’s all planes of supple flesh and curved edges and scars. So, many scars. His thumb traces one on the side of her rib. It’s not fresh but the scar tissue raises predominantly from her skin. “How?” he swallows thickly, eyes growing glassy. But she doesn’t have to answer he knows. He knew Hux’s torture was bad, but not this bad.

“Ben, they’re just scars. I kind of like them. They make me feel badass,” she confesses. Leave it to Rey to put a positive spin on torture. “Please don’t stop.”

Kylo stays taking her in for just a moment longer to notice that the heat is turning her beautiful cream skin into a piece of coral. She’s so tiny, but Kylo is not afraid to break her. He’s seen what this woman can do, but he wonders if pleasure will be enough to turn this woman into a puddle on the floor. And he wonders if he can be the sun that makes that puddle.

  


He gently deposits her onto the bed and takes either of her legs and props them on his broad shoulders. He can seen beneath a blanket of soft brown curls that the skin of her folds are shining with slick. He presses a hesitant kiss right over her clit, and as he does he inhales her. She’s intoxicating and now all he wants to do is taste her.

His tongue slips out and the wetness of his mouth connects with the wetness of her and it’s like someone zapped Rey with an electric current. Kylo moves is tongue between her mounds, sleekly exploring her every inch, and when it makes contact with that little bud nestled between caverns he feels her hips jerk.

He starts to tease that place with his tongue, his lips, his thumb. Then he moves his large fingers between her folds and he inserts one inside of her. Rey releases an audible gasp, and Kylo knows what he needs to do. He tentatively slips another finger inside her and begins to move them inside and out while still licking and sucking on her clit. “Ben,” Rey groans letting her nimble fingers wash through the sea of the dark waves of his hair.

Kylo doesn’t know how he knows when she’s almost spent, but he stops. “Not yet,” he responds at Rey’s questioning look. “We do it together.”

Rey is panting, “I thought you said you’ve never done that before?”

“I haven’t.”

“Beginner’s luck I guess,” she tries to steady her breathing.

Kylo stands to his full height beside the bed and Rey wobbles to her knees. He appreciates the sight, but it’s quickly replaced by surprise when he finds a small palm surrounding his hardness through his pants. He takes in the sight of her deft hands unclasping his pants and Rey simultaneously slips off his briefs and his pants.

Kylo’s erection springs forth and before he can blink Rey’s hand grabs the length of him. Her large hazel eyes are round as she examines him. “Is, uh, is everything okay?” he asks.

“Oh, yes,” she responds. “I’ve just never seen one before. Are they all this big?”

He gives a little cough. “Umm, I don’t know. I don’t make it a habit of trying to see others.”

Rey just shrugs and takes him into her mouth. Now it’s time for Kylo’s eyes to go wide. Her mouth is wet and warm. It’s easily the best thing he’s ever felt.

Rey is enthusiastic at her barrage of him, moving up and down over him while firmly wrapping her fingers around him at his base. The small bit of moisture that drips from him taste slightly salty but pleasant. Her other hand comes up to lightly flit her fingers over his balls and that’s when he has to pull her off of him. “But I wasn’t done,” she protests.

“Remember, we’re supposed to do it together.” He then lays her back on the bed and slips between her thighs. “Are you on any lalcif?”

“What is that?” she asks.

“It stops you from getting pregnant. Don’t worry I’ll make sure a medic brings you some eaheta fruit tea in the morning. It does the same thing.” She nods.

He reaches down between them and takes himself in his hand to steady his entrance. He slides inside her slowly letting her get used to him inch by inch. When he finally is entirely inside her he hears her give a small contented sigh. He props himself up on his elbows on either side of her head and begins.

He rocks slowly into her at first still wary of her being uncomfortable. After a small while Rey moans. “More.” He begins to pick up speed and she rocks her hips to try to meet him. It’s erratic, but matches in time all at once. The feeling of her wrapped around his cock is comforting and feeling her walls pulse around him makes erotic heat rise in him.

At first, it’s a bit painful for Rey, but once she adjusts, all she wants to do is relish in the feeling of being filled by him. He continues to pump into her and with every thrust she comes to appreciate the way he settles inside her.

Kylo’s blazing bronze eyes bypass hers and look into her soul. “I love you,” he says.

“You have me too,” she says. “Until every last star in the galaxy dies.”

The words push Kylo over the edge and drives him forward. At the same time that he spills himself inside her he can feel her walls contract around him in her own base pleasure.

They lay their panting into each other’s hair until he unsheaths himself from her. He takes her into his arms and pulls her flush with his chest. Rey lays her hand against Kylo’s heart and feels it as it beats strong, and she can feel that something has changed.

She can feel his sadness along with his strength in every beat of his heart. She can even feel a bit of his monstrosity, but something else has been added. After a few moments of just listening, Rey realizes that it’s hope. Kylo Ren now has hope.

 

XXXX

 

Hux sits at the head of a large black reflective conference table. He looks out at all the generals assembled before him. Some are there in person and some are connecting via holo leaving them in a ghostly blue glow.

The meeting has been blunt and to the point, Hux not being one to mix words when it comes to these things. “So, are we all in agreement?” he asks his voice drifting over their heads. Captain Sille stands behind Hux to his right.

He looks at each general in turn and each nod their head in assent. Hux pulls something on the holo screen before him. “Great. I’m sending the document to you now for you all to sign. Then I will take it to the Supreme Leader. Thank you, gentlemen.”

With the document sent Hux rises, as do all the other generals in a sign of solidarity and respect. As he walks out, he leans down to Captain Sille. “Please let the Supreme Leader know that I wish to speak with him.” She nods.

 

XXXX

 

“So, he tells me to reach out and so I extended my arm,” Rey explains to Kylo. She’s sitting on top of her bed in her cell and he’s sitting at his new desk in his office.

“Rookie mistake,” he says.

Rey rolls her eyes at him. “And he takes this leaf and starts to tickle my arm asking me if I feel it. And of course I say yes. Then he hit me with it.”

Kylo shatters with laughter at Rey’s story of her first lesson with Luke. “Yeah, that sounds like him.”

“So he was always like that?” she asks.

He nods. “Yes, remember when I told you he killed the Rancor? Well, as punishment Jabba the Hutt decided to kill my parents and Luke. He was going to take them out into the desert and throw them into the mouth of the sarlac. Well, instead of jumping off the plank into the sarlac’s stomach my uncle decides to jump, pull himself back up with his hands, do a backflip while catching his lightsaber that R2 launched to him, and land behind the guard and decapitate him.”

Before the bond fades Rey responds, “If I ever see him again I’ll have to ask him about that.”

Kylo smiles and shakes his head. It’s been a few weeks since the night he spent with Rey, and since then he’s felt totally different. He’s still tormented by his mother’s death, but he made a promise to himself that night with Rey. He wasn’t going to let anyone he loved die ever again.

He had already been planning on finding a way to get Rey off the Finalizer. The plans weren’t coming together as he had hoped, but he wasn’t going to stop trying.

The door to Kylo’s office rises with a hiss and General Hux walks in trailed by his billowing cloak. “Ah, yes Hux, you’d wish to see me?” Kylo asks.

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” Hux takes a seat. “I wanted to inform you that I have meet with the other twelve First Order generals and it has come to our attention that we no longer need this scavenger girl as a prisoner. She is more dangerous to us alive than dead. We took a vote, and as you know if a decree of execution has unanimous support from the generals then it overrides the Supreme Leaders’ authority. If you’ll look at your datapad, I have sent you said decree of execution signed by myself and the other generals. Prisoner 1191 is scheduled for execution two weeks from today, and her death shall be carried out by our esteemed Supreme Leader. You.”

The rage starts to blacken Kylo’s eyes and his fists make his gloves creak.

“Have a good day, Supreme Leader,” Hux says as he departs. He doesn’t make it halfway down the hall before he hears the destruction of Kylo Ren’s ire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all are so fantastic! Thank you so much for following this fic. Please as always comment! I love hearing from you all. This chapter's song is Fortress by Bear's Den. If you all haven't heard of Bear's Den I suggest checking out both their albums: Islands and Red Earth & Pouring Rain. They're amazing.


	6. Holding Onto You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo prepares a plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: there is graphic language and sexual situation in this chapter.

_"And the story unfolds. You should take my life. You should take my soul."_ \- "Holding Onto You" by twenty one pilots

When Rey enters Kylo’s apartments she’s met with a vision of destruction. This time his desk is cut into more than two pieces, as is everything else in his office. It’s a jigsaw puzzle with no way of being put back together.

    She makes her way through his bed room. The bed is lopsided, there is clothing strewn across the various surfaces, and one of the lights is missing its shade. She looks out to the kitchen to see that cabinet doors have been yanked off their hinges, pots, pans, and other utensils are strewn about. There is a fork and a couple knives sticking out of one of the walls. In the sitting room, Kylo sits with his head in his hands. The glass coffee and dining tables are smashed, the glass littering the floor sparkles like stars resting in the vacuum of space.

    Rey approaches Kylo’s hunched form. “Hey, you broke the bed. How are we supposed to make love with a broken bed?” she jokes

    Kylo raises his head. His eyes are shining, red, and raw, the salt of his tears having left tracks down his cheeks. “Hux came by earlier,” he says. A beat of silence passes. “You’re to be executed in two weeks time. He went over my head and called a meeting of the First Order generals. They all signed your execution decree, but I’m the one who has to carry out the order. There’s nothing I can do.”

    Rey takes a seat next to Kylo and takes in his profile. His jagged scar graces his face, his proud nose is flaring its nostrils, and his mouth is clamped shut pushing out the skin around his full lips. Rey grabs his face and places small, light kisses on the scar, starting with just over his eyebrow and roaming down over his eyelid and cheeks to his jaw.

    “Ben, I’m not afraid to die,” she says. “In fact, I’m surprised it took this long. It’s been what? Almost a year? Honestly, I always thought I’d die a scavenger on Jakku, but now I get to die a Jedi.”

    “Yeah, at the hands of the man who loves you and who is supposed to protect you,” Kylo’s tone is dripping with self-deprecation.

    Rey sighs. “Don’t do that, Ben. Don’t blame yourself. This isn't your fault. You can’t do anything without raising suspicions. If you tried you’d probably just end up on the execution block beside me.”

    “That’s better than not doing anything. Rey, you’re supposed to establish a new Jedi Order. Who will do it if you’re gone?” he asks.

    “You will, silly.” She answers the question with such surety that it annoys him.

    “I can’t. There is still too much that I have done that I have not atoned for.”

    “I can think of no one better than you. You’ve touched the dark and come back. You’ll have first hand experience of using both to keep peace.”

    Kylo rises from the couch and looks out of the viewport. His hands are balled into fists at his side. “I made myself a promise, Rey, after my mother died. I promised that no more of my loved ones would suffer the same fate if I could help it. I will save you. I killed my father, I was complacent in my mother’s death, but I will not be responsible for yours.”

His voice is steady and assured. Rey can see the determination flash like a bright light across his eyes. From where she is on the couch Rey says, “Ben Solo, don’t you dare save me. I’m at peace with this. I have come and done what I was supposed to. Now it’s my time to leave.”

“And what were you supposed to do?” he asks darkly.

“Give you hope.”

 

XXXX

 

Over the next two weeks Kylo Ren is busy preparing supplies for Rey on his personal shuttle. He steals extra rations from the canteen, and acquires her clothes from the tailors, one of which is a mourning dress for his mother’s funeral on Chandrila, which is where she will meet them.

Intelligence from First Order spies have come in that most of the Resistance leaders are there attending his mother’s funeral. As per Chandrilian tradition, mourning periods last a month, ending when the deceased is interred in the family mausoleum, at which point people don the color purple - the color of mourning on Chandrila.

The dress Kylo has had made for Rey is a lilac gown with a fit and flare waist, and a sweetheart neckline covered by a sheer cape that drapes down to join the back of the dress in a modest train. It is covered in delicate white lace flowers that move from numerous to sparse as they travel down towards the hem.

Kylo just wishes he’d be able to see Rey in it.

 

XXXX

 

It’s a couple of days before Rey’s execution and Kylo is sitting at his workbench in his apartments fiddling with various tools, taking them to a long cylindrical object. He holds a crystal up to the light in his gloved hand, rotating it so the bright beam of the work lamp catches it at different angles.

He then deposits it in a small chamber within the metal cylinder and solders it close. It’s the last of his preparations for Rey’s escape, and he knows that it will be a faithful tool for her in the future.

He reaches up and turns off the lamp then walks towards the viewport. He presses his palms to the glass and leans against the pane. His eyes close and he bunches them tightly as if he’s trying to recall something from long ago.

Hope. Rey said that her purpose was to give him hope. He supposes he does feel hopeful in the way of getting her out of the clutches of the First Order. He does not, however, feel hopeful for himself. But what was that his mother always used to tell him? Hope is like the sun. If you only believe in it when you can see it you’ll never make it through the night.

 _I’m sorry, Mom,_ he thinks. _There are just some nights you don’t get through. I should know. I’ve spent a lifetime in the dark._

Yet, lately he’s been basking in light. The light that Rey has brought to him. Without her in this world it would be gone. It’s better to know that she’s out there somewhere, alive than seeing her dead.

For a quick second Kylo feels as if someone is watching him. The hair on his arms and the back of his neck rise. He quickly turns around, but there is no one there.

 

XXXX

 

The night before the execution, Kylo calls for Rey to be escorted to his quarters. When she enters his rooms she finds him in his usual spot staring out the vast expanse of glass. He spends so much time in front of that window she’s curious as to how he hasn’t worn a spot in the carpet.

Kylo can sense her arrival and he turns from the window. He doesn’t say anything, but walks to her and captures her mouth with his. He reaches down, places his hands beneath her bottom, and lifts her up. Rey immediately wraps her legs around his waist. Her fingers weave tangled designs in his obsidian hair.

Kylo’s right hand comes up to the back of Rey’s neck and pushes her head towards him, deepening the kiss and making their noses smush together. Their kisses are ravenous and soon both are breathing heavy. There is so much weight between the two of them it makes the air foggy with need.

Rey moves her hands down and starts unclasping the buttons on Kylo’s tunic. Soon she’s able to push it down off his shoulders and she wastes no time in pulling his tank top off his skin. In return, Kylo pulls the hem of Rey’s prison shirt over her head. He’s surprised to find she has forgone her chest wrap, and in response he puts both of his large hands on either of her shoulders and pushes so that her breasts are flush against his chest.

He moves his mouth to the corner of hers, and continues down to her jaw, to her neck, to her shoulder and collarbone, leaving small wet pools against her skin. Rey’s nails lightly dig into Kylo’s broad back. From over his shoulder she can see his muscles ripple underneath his skin. It reminds her of the waves on the seas of Ach’ To. She places a slight bite on his shoulder and realizes it tastes similar to them too.

Kylo sets Rey down for a moment so that he can pull at the drawstring on her pants. At the same time she undoes his slacks. Once they are laid bare to each other something sparks deep in both of them. He picks her back up and the feasting of flesh continues. Mouths wander and meet again, limbs roam and explore, and sounds erupt and warmth collects deep in their bellies.

Rey is then pushed up against the cool glass of the viewport, and Kylo lifts her slightly then brings her back down so that he can rest inside her. Rey responds with a whimper as they start to move. Their muscles go into overdrive due to their positioning, and the fact that they’re taking base carnal pleasure in each other.

Kylo knows this will be the last time he’ll have Rey like this and he wants to feel every inch of her with every inch of himself. He wants to feel her tighten and pulse, pulling heat through his cock.

He feels a sharp pain on his chest. He looks down to find Rey has bitten him and some of her teeth have punctured his skin, drawing blood. He looks up at her in confusion and is met with a heated gaze that could rival Mustafar.

“So you remember you’re mine,” she says in answer.

He continues to move them together while he brings his hand up to the back of her head. He’s able to hold the whole back of her head in his palm, and he uses his fingers to move her head to the side so he has access to the back of her soft shoulder. He bites down, hard, and Rey lets out the most glorious moan he’s ever heard. He pulls back and looks at her. “Now we match,” he says. A few moments later, blood coats Rey’s chest and the picture window.

He knows she’s close to her climax and he starts to move them faster, and with every exchange his shaft grows harder until Rey feels like she’s being entered by sheer marble. Finally, he spills himself inside her while her walls undulate around him.

He slowly withdraws from her and Rey’s legs come down barely steadying her. “I love you,” she says.

“You have me,” he replies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments have been so wonderful. Please keep it up! I love hearing from you guys. This chapter's song is Holding Onto You by twenty one pilots.


	7. Broken Parable

_"Don't say I didn't love enough."_ \- "Broken Parable by Bear's Den

Rey sits with her hands underneath her thighs on the bed in her cell. Her gaze moves about the room taking in what has been her home for the past year. On her lap sits Kylo Ren’s cloak.

Today Rey will be executed, and yet, she doesn’t regret the decision that brought her here. Deciding to take the blame for Snoke’s death along with the death of his guards was the best thing Rey could have ever done. It allowed her to help Kylo find his way back to the light, allowed her to give him hope.

It did not matter that her parents were just junk traders on Jakku because ever since she came into this galaxy she had, had one purpose and that was Kylo Ren. She saw that purpose accomplished and now she would be able to become one with the Force like Luke had described to her.

And it was even more poetic that Kylo, the man she loves, would be the one to do it.

Rey hears that familiar hiss of the door to her cell for the last time. A woman she knows to be Captain Sille walks in. She is flanked by two troopers, one of which is holding binders. Rey looks down to her lap and raises Kylo’s cloak to her nose. She inhales deeply, taking in the scent of sweat and smoking wood.

The trooper hands the binders to Sille who then places them on Rey’s wrists.

Once she is secure, a trooper takes Rey by the upper arm and leads her toward the hanger bay where the First Order has set up their execution stage.

The hanger is a longer walk than the one to Kylo’s personal apartments. Rey gets to see a completely different part of the Finalizer than she’s seen before. Though, she quickly remembers this is no pleasure cruise.

The sight that greets Rey once they reach the hanger is that of a few battalions of troopers neatly in their lines, facing forward toward a solid black stage. On the stage there is a small black box. Behind that stands the ramrod straight figure of General Hux and behind him, clad in his black and red velvet cloak and ceremonial clothes is Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.

Rey is marched to the front and is led between the front line of the troops and the foot of the stage. No Stormtrooper turns their head to look at her, nor do they say a word or jeer at her. It makes her wonder what Finn was like as a trooper. Finn. She just adds him to the list of people she’ll never see again.

She is led up a small set of stairs on the side of the stage, and as she does she glances over to Kylo who takes his left hand and pats his left hip underneath his cloak. It is a minute gesture, one only for her, and it leaves Rey furrowing her brows.

Rey is pushed into a kneeling position in front of the black box, which she comes to understand is the executioner’s block. She waits as Hux reads out her crime and punishment.

“Prisoner 1191, also known as Rey,” Hux’s voice rings clear through the hanger as he begins. “Has been found guilty - by the council of First Order generals - of nine counts of murder and one count of high treason against the First Order, upon which the punishment is death.”

At this Kylo steps forward toward Rey and the executioner’s block. Rey taking that as her cue, lays her neck bare upon the black slab.

“Prisoner 1191’s execution is to be carried out by our most esteemed Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.” Hux finishes.

Kylo’s chest heaves in a deep breath, as he turns to look at General Hux.

“Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, execute this rebel scum,” Hux says to him.

A beat passes. It’s only a second but in that hanger bay it feels like eternity, and then a voice shatters through the silence, breaking the air like crystal.

“My _name_ is Ben Solo, and I will do no such thing.” Rey’s head snaps to the side in time to see Ben ignite his lightsaber with a beastly shriek and small stomp of his right foot. He raises it and faster than anyone can move he brings it down and slashes Rey’s restraints.

The first thing Rey does is extend her right hand pulling at what is attached to the left side of Ben’s hip. A metal cylinder flies to her and she fists it in her hands, only to find that it has two sides. She ignites them both and two energy beams the color of the brightest yellow emerge.

Meanwhile, Ben has taken the Force and thrust it towards Hux and Captain Sille pushing them off the stage and knocking them unconscious.

Chaos then spews forth. Some Stormtroopers begin to fire on Ben and Rey while others are running for cover or different commlinks to call for backup.

Ben points. “Rey, we have to get to my shuttle. Left all the way down.” Rey nods in response.

Simultaneously they run and front flip off the back of the stage. Rey is the first to encounter a trooper and with a well aimed stab he goes down. One tries to cut off Ben’s route, but he punches him in the helmet, which causes the trooper to fall to the floor. Ben finishes him off with a deft stab through his chest.

It’s a mad dash to the shuttle, and they are met with troopers at every turn. With the use of Rey’s staff saber she is able to deflect blaster shots more effectively. While Ben uses his weapon by slashing those in his path.

Rey can see Ben’s shuttle, and it’s 200 yards from their current position. She’s about to take another step forward when she feels an arm come across her neck. She struggles before reaching back with her empty hand, securing her hand around her assailants neck. She then bends at the hip, while crouching slightly with her knees, and she pulls. The trooper rolls over Rey’s left shoulder and drops onto his back on the ground. She finishes him by burying her blade in his stomach.

Rey looks over and finds that Ben is fighting three troopers at once. He swiftly makes pieces of the first, taking off the man’s legs and one arm. The other two are armed with riot control batons. The first swings and Ben ducks bringing up his foot to kick the trooper in the stomach. The second comes at Ben’s torso. It connects with Ben’s blood red saber with a monstrous crack. Ben then slides between the troopers situating himself behind them. One slash to both of their backs and they fall to the floor.

Ben looks over and sees Rey. He reaches out his hand and she takes it. There are more troopers several hundred yards behind them as the rush towards the shuttle, each of them turning back to deflect a blaster bolt or two at random intervals.

They finally reach the ramp of Ben’s shuttle. Rey ascends first and tugs at Ben to follow. He drops her hand. “Ben, come on. We have to go,” Rey screams over the cacophony filling the hanger.

Ben turns and two blaster bolts glance off his blade. “No, Rey. Only one of us was supposed to make it out of this. Head for Chandrila. The Resistance is there. The coordinates are already in the nav system.”

“What?!” her voice is a screech. “No. You have to come with me.”

He continues to avert their enemies. “No, Rey. I can’t. They will never accept me. I killed my father and I did nothing for my mother. Plus, this will give you time to get away. You sacrificed yourself for me that day in Snoke’s throne room. Now it’s my turn. Remember, until every last star, Rey. Give my mother my love. May the Force be with you.”

With that Ben pushes Rey up the ramp and closes the door. The shuttle takes off just moments later. The last thing Ben sees before he is overrun by troopers and knocked unconscious is his shuttle entering hyper speed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to post two chapters today because they're both pretty short ones. Your feedback is encouraged and welcome. This chapter's song is Broken Parable by Bear's Den. I think this song definitely describes Ben and his turn.


	8. All at Once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is reunited with the Resistance.

_"There's almost nothing that you could tell me that could ease my mind."_ \- "All at Once" by Jack Johnson

Four luminescent white gualaars pull a matching white open casket down the main avenues of Hanna City, the capital of the planet Chandrila. Each beasts’ face is accented by a large blocky horn that sits atop their heads and two smaller horns protruding from either side of their noses. Their light brown manes and tails shimmer in the descending sunlight like molten gold.

A multitude of people follow the open casket, which holds the peacefully sleeping form of Princess and General Leia Organa Solo, never to wake again. Her corpse is draped in a royal purple, long-sleeved, simple gown. It’s linen fabric is like a sea in which her figure drifts upon within her death coffer. Her beautifully groomed hands are clasped neatly together over her stomach and her shining liquid silver hair fans out around her head.

Those following in her funeral procession are walking out to the countryside right outside the city’s gates to the royal cemetery. Leia would have been buried on her home planet of Alderaan if it had still existed. Her final resting place will be atop a hill in a mausoleum overlooking the daily ebb and flow of the Silver Sea.

The march soon reaches this mausoleum, which is octagonal in shape with a glass domed roof held up by columns at every corner decorated by sculpted upusila flowers. The doors are a bright gold adorned with living greath lily vines crawling over its surface.

All bow their heads in a moment of silence for this great symbol of justice and peace until the loud whirring noise of a shuttle’s engine interrupts their reveries. Simultaneously numerous gazes lift up to see a shuttle approaching from the horizon. Soon they recognize it as Kylo Ren’s personal shuttle. Could it possibly be that the First Order’s Supreme Leader has come to pay his respects to his mother?

The shuttle touches down a couple yards away, and when the boarding ramp lowers all are surprised at the figure that disembarks. A woman walks toward them in a pretty lilac gown. Finn is the first to recognize her, and meets her with a tight embrace. Next in line is Luke Skywalker, her teacher, who also hugs her. Poe is the last to greet her and they exchange a few quiet words.

He turns to the small group, “Okay, everyone we’re going to let Rey have a few moments alone with the general.” Out of respect, everyone quietly moves farther away on the hilltop. Rey takes a place on her knees beside Leia’s open casket. The woman takes the cold and limp hand.

“Ben sends you his love. You were right to never lose hope in him,” her voice is thick with unshed tears. “He sacrificed himself to save me. They will surely kill him. I’m afraid his redemption came too late.”

Rey can feel the presence behind her before he speaks. “Hope is never too late. Redemption found my father in the last few moments of his life. Just because he didn’t get to live it out doesn’t make it less important.” Luke’s sure presence makes Rey feel less sad, more at east. “You know, Ben was named after one of the largest beacons of hope in this galaxy, my teacher Obi-Wan Kenobi, who was also the Jedi Master who taught my father. At one point in time, Ben Kenobi was our only hope against the Galactic Empire. Leia would be proud of Ben living up to his namesake. She’d be proud of you both.”

 

XXXX

 

Ben’s consciousness comes back slowly, but his eyes stay closed. He can feel the solid form of a bed underneath him as well as the solid pain throbbing in various locations on his body. By his calculations he has a few bruised ribs and new cuts to added to his collection, but these he earned doing something he was proud of. That would make a difference.

His eyes are still closed when the door hisses open, and he feels the grimy presence of Hux enter what he presumes is the cell he’s currently occupying. “Kylo Ren, or should I call you Ben Solo now?” The derision in Hux’s voice is palpable. Ben doesn’t say anything as he sits up and raises his gaze to take in the pale form of the man in front of him. “I knew you were weak, but falling for that scavenger, I thought you were better than that.”

“I was strong enough to kill Snoke,” Ben replies with a small half smirk gracing his features.

Hux scoffs. “I knew she couldn’t have done that. Snoke was too strong. He told me once that if anyone was going to kill him it would be his own apprentice. But the guards, that was the both of you, wasn’t it?”

“You know what they say, Hux, ‘Teamwork makes the dream work.’ But you wouldn’t know anything about that would you? Always working hidden angles and plotting actions to make sure you get ahead of everyone else,” Ben says. “Let me guess, you’re now the Supreme Leader.”

“Yes, I am, and because it is so, I have made my first decree. You will be executed for murder and treason in seven days. I finally will be rid of you.”

“And I, you.”

With that Hux whirls around, his long black cloak trailing after him. Ben’s cell door closes and with it he exhales a large, heavy breath into his lap.

The room hollows out and Ben looks up to see a figure with its back to him. He knows her immediately from the healing mark of a bite on her left shoulder. The cape of her gown elegantly drapes around her shoulders and her tousled, loose tresses reflect a setting sun.

“You are such a stunning sight for sore eyes,” he speaks to her visage.

Rey’s back stiffens before she turns around. Then she is on him, crouching down and holding his face in her hands. “Ben. Oh, Maker, Ben. I’m so glad you’re alright,” she is desperately kissing every inch of his face from his strong brow to the corners of his mouth.

“Are you on Chandrila?” he asks.

She nods. “Yes, they just interred Leia into the family mausoleum. She looked absolutely beautiful, Ben.”

“I have no doubt about that,” he says with thickness in his voice. “She was always a sight even in her fiercest moments.”

Both are silent for a beat, remembering the fiery flame of a woman that was his mother. “Where are you?” Rey asks.

“I’m in a cell on the Finalizer. Hux was just in to tell me that, as the new Supreme Leader, he has sentenced me to execution.”

Ben notices Rey’s eyes are rimmed in gray and her face could use a little color. She must have not gotten a lot of sleep on the shuttle. “How long do you have?”

“Seven days.”

Her face drops further before he sees her features settle into a steely determination. “I’m going to rescue you. I’m going to get you out of there.”

He knew this would be her response. “No. No, Rey. I’m not worth the danger. I got you out of here, so you could go on and help your friends, hopefully end the First Order, and start a new Jedi academy. I was wrong before when I said this wasn’t your story. It is your story and you need to complete it, not waste it on trying to save a lost cause. I was only a small part in your story. My time is done.”

“I refuse to believe that, Ben. I refuse. I will not resign myself to your fate. I will rescue you,” her voice is a fading echo as she disappears before him.

The next thing Ben does is surrender his face to his hands and succumb to the waves of tears that leave him gasping for breath and his body trembling.

 

XXXX

 

The Resistance has taken over Junari Point located a few miles outside of Hanna City overlooking the glittering seaside, for their duration on Chandrila. After Leia’s funeral, Rey changed into her regular clothes, gathered her things from the shuttle and followed Luke into the chateau. Once given a small room, Rey made her way to a medic. That’s where Finn finds her.

“I can’t believe you’re here . . . that you’re alive,” Finn’s eyes shine as he takes in the form and hand of his best friend. He’s surprised when she doesn’t protest the gesture. “When we heard you were taken prisoner by the First Order, well, I know how they operate with their prisoners. I used to mop the hallways of the prison block. I heard the screams.” Just the thought turns Finn’s voice wet. “Then we learned you survived long enough to become Kylo Ren’s personal prisoner. We thought you were a goner for sure.”

“How did you hear that?” Rey asks. Her face shows no hint of emotion, as if she’s wearing an unbreakable mask.

“Our spies. Poe said her name is Alexxus, I think,” Finn says. Rey gives a miniscule smile on her blank visage. “How did you survive?”

“Ben. I was sentenced to death, and he saved me when he was supposed to be dealing the killing blow. He constructed a new lightsaber for me and hid it on his person. When the time came he gave it to me, so that we could fight together to get out.”

“That monster let you go? But why?” Confusion laces Finn’s words.

“He’s changed. I’ve changed too. He never tortured me. When I was on Ach’ To trying to get Luke to come back some type of bond opened between us in the Force. The bond, it let me see his future, and he saw mine. Snoke said he created the bond, but when Ben killed him it was still there. Somehow I think it’s been there all this time, even when we were young, but it went dormant once Snoke took over his mind. I think the connection came back when he interrogated me on Starkiller. Anyway, it was enough for Ben to be curious, so he had me brought to his chambers under the guise that he was interrogating me, but he never made me tell him anything I didn’t want to.”

“You said that you two would fight and get out together, but he’s not here.” It’s more of a question than a statement.

“He sacrificed himself for me. So that I could escape.” Her last words come out in a quiet sadness.

Finn looks at her, the incredulousness hitting Rey in waves. “You know this sounds absolutely nutty, right?”

“Yes, I do, but it’s true. We talked about a lot of things. Especially, the Force and the role it plays in this world, that there needs to be a middle ground between dark and light. It’s against nature to fully deny one side in favor of the other.”

“Are you sure that’s how the Force works?” Finn asks.

Rey rolls her eyes at Finn, this conversation having taken some of the sting of Ben’s revelation through the Force bond. “Of course I’m sure that’s how it works! Or at least that’s how it’ll work with the new Jedi Order, but I can’t create it by myself. And Luke has made it clear that he will never train someone again. We need to rescue Ben, Finn. He’s our only hope at a new galaxy.”

“You love him don’t you?” he asks. Finn could recognize the gradual light that grew in Rey as she spoke of Ben and how he’s changed.

“Yes.”

Finn is silent for a moment, chewing on the inside of his cheek. It’s hard for him to reconcile the man who almost killed him on Starkiller with this new image that Rey paints of him, but if there’s one thing Finn knows it’s that Rey is a good judge of character and his friend. His first friend, and that’s not something you throw away easily. “Okay, I trust you, Rey, and when the time comes I’ll help you rescue him.”

Rey answers her friend’s statement with a hug. It feels good to have him back with her. This past year it has felt like she’s been missing a part of herself, even if she did gain Ben, she still didn’t have Finn with her.

They stay like that for a few moments. The break in their embrace is followed by quick steps and a bright perky voice. “Oh, there you are dummy!” Rose uses her right hand to swing herself inside the small room that serves as the med center. She smiles brightly at Finn before her gaze drifts to the woman beside him. “Oh . . . oh, stars. You’re Rey the Jedi. Jedi Rey. I can’t believe we’re in the same room. I can’t believe I’m even staring at you. Maker, I’m staring. That’s really rude. I’m sorry.”

Rey gives a small smile to the woman then turns it on Finn. “Is she always like this?”

Finn nods, but smiles at Rose. “At first. Then she’ll get over being starstruck and will stun you with a taser.”

 

XXXX

 

Hux is back in Ben’s cell much to his chagrin. If he’s here to gloat again about Ben’s impending execution then Ben would have no qualms in introducing his fist to Hux’s face.

“You’re back,” he says in a darkly sardonic tone.

“Don’t sound so happy, Solo. I definitely thought you would want to hear about some of the developments within the First Order, to see how a true Supreme Leader runs his organization.” Saliva begins to gather in Hux’s mouth as his tongue works around and builds the words. “First, I have undone all of the decrees that you put in place.”

“Of course you have,” Ben responds.

“And as Supreme Leader I’m in charge of the First Order’s defenses, which is something I think you severely overlooked during your time of leadership, but at least one of us was taking into consideration the possibility of oncoming threats. You see, once Snoke was killed I knew it was only a matter of time before you screwed up. I definitely thought it would have happened sooner, but I guess we can all be surprised at some point in our lives. Anyway, so I order the First Order scientists to start research on building a bio-chemical weapon. I received word just before the scavenger’s execution that a prototype is ready for testing. I’m excited to let you know that I want you present for the test run.”

Fear was not an emotion that Ben was a stranger to, but right now, in his cell, this fear was different. It felt like a thick black smoke pervading into his lungs, choking him. It was cold and concentrated. He definitely had a bad feeling about this.

Seeing the anxiety flash in Ben’s eyes, Hux smiles and makes his exit.

 

XXXX

 

The makeshift headquarters of the Resistance on Junari Point is small, but not without a control room. Poe, Finn, Luke, Rose and Chewie all stand around a tall table projecting a map of the galaxy in a luminescent blue hue.

“You want to rescue Kylo Ren?” Poe’s voice is incredulous. With Leia’s death he’s been made the new general of the Resistance.

“Not Kylo Ren, Ben Solo,” Rey corrects. “He’s turned. He’s the one who saved me from my execution. Now he sits in a cell awaiting his own.”

“I believe she’s telling the truth. I’ve never known Rey to lie before, and she has her new lightsaber to prove it,” Finn says turning to Poe. “I’ve volunteered to go with her.”

Luke clears his throat. “It’s not unheard of for a Jedi to turn back to the light. Plus, he could be useful for information on the First Order.”

“If he’s in a cell like you say then they’re not telling him anything,” Poe responds. “And a new lightsaber is not confirmation enough for me. I will put out a message to our spy on board the Finalizer. Once we hear back, depending on their report, then we can talk a rescue plan, but not before. We can’t risk valuable resources at this point in the war.”

Rey trains a stony gaze on Poe, “We have seven days before they execute him. If we don’t hear any word in five days then I’m going with or without help.”

She palms her lightsaber and heads for the entrance of the chateau.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys have been so amazing! Thank you so much for the comments. Keep them coming! This chapter's song is All at Once by Jack Johnson.


	9. Above the Clouds of Pompeii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey reconnects with her friends and Ben gets an unsuspected visitor.

_"Don't cry, hold your head up high. She would want you to."_ \- "Above the Clouds of Pompeii" by Bear's Den

There is little to make Ben warm in the sterile hell hole that is cell. He’s only been here a day, and he already wants to tear the hair from his scalp. He groans and rolls from his side to his back on the bed. The movement makes him bend his knees up, as he is too big for the small surface. He moves his hands behind his head.

The only thing that makes this worse is that Hux insists on breaking whatever reverie Ben is able to make for himself. The door of his cell hisses open. _Speak of the devil,_ Ben thinks as the tall, thin shape of the red-headed Supreme Leader makes his way into the room. The space is entirely too small for both men, and the tension between them makes the area even more stuffy.

“Ah, Solo. How are we today? Well, I do have good news if you’re in poor spirits,” Hux says cheerily. “We have received intelligence from Chandrila that the Resistance will be leaving soon and going back to their secret base. Although, I guess since we now have a spy implanted into their ranks that their base won’t be a secret much longer.”

Ben stands. “And what will you do? Attack the base? I’m sure they’ve prepared for that.”

“Oh, no. I think not. At least not yet. Who knows maybe I’ll just send my new fleet of dreadnoughts to attack them while their in route. That way I can kill all of the Resistance leaders and your precious scavenger all in one go,” Hux goads, chuckling as Ben lunges towards him.

Two troopers quickly enter the cell to restrain him. “Before this is all over, Hux, I’ll kill you!” Ben screams.

In response, Hux keeps laughing and exits the room. The troopers follow closely after.

Ben is left panting like a wild animal. _I need to let Rey know there’s a spy,_ he thinks as he stares at the closed door.

“You know you shouldn’t let that twat get a rise out of you, but I suppose controlling your anger was never your strong suit. I still remember that time you bit Senator Horvace’s nephew. I don’t know how many apologies I gave that man. I mean, Ben, you drew blood.”

The voice speaks from behind him, and the familiar feminine grate makes the hairs on his arms rise. Ben turns to see his mother standing there dressed in a plain, high-collared, white, long-sleeved, full-length dress. Her form gives off a dull blue glow and Ben’s eyebrows immediately furrow. “Mother?” he asks.

“Hello, my little galaxy,” she responds using the pet name she gave him when he was just a toddler. It wasn’t long after that Ben transformed from a little galaxy to a big galaxy as the years passed and he shot up like a sprout. He once asked his mother why she had given him that term of endearment. Her response, “Because from the first day I met you all I could see was the entire galaxy of possibilities for you in your beautiful bronze eyes.” The explanation had caused Ben to blush.

When he had reached his teenage years he started to hate it, and his mother had all but stopped calling him that. Thinking back on it now, Ben wasn’t completely sure he had hated it; it was more that he didn’t feel like he deserved it. How could someone see a galaxy in the eyes of a monster. The feelings of guilt and utter melancholy begin to fog Ben’s mind.

“Mother,” the words come out as a sob. Ben’s height is immediately cut in half as he falls to his knees in front of Leia’s regal form. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for father and for you and for everything. You don’t know how much I wish I could take it all back. To do everything over again.”

He feels a hand cup his cheek and lift his face so that his gaze connects with hers. “It has been done, my little galaxy,” she starts. “I have already forgiven you for your father. I knew that was not you who killed him. That was Snoke’s puppet, Kylo Ren, not my son. And you have no reason to apologize for me.”

“But I did nothing to try and save you,” Ben says, tears making tracks down his face, connecting moles with freckles.

He sees the wetness start in his mother’s glimpse. “Sweetheart, you of all people should know that the Force has plans for everyone. That was just my plan. You remember what your uncle taught you. The Force has a balance and that balance must be maintained, and with that in mind I feel that I, too, owe you an apology.”

Ben swallows thickly. “For what?”

“For not paying more attention to you when you were younger. I should have asked you what you felt like you needed, what would help you. Instead I shipped you off like it was your fault. I gave up trying to help all too quickly and too readily. It became the biggest mistake I have ever made. I love you more than anything, Ben, you need to know that.”

Ben sniffs. “I love you, too, Mother.” He leans into her touch and finds the comfort he had been searching his whole life for. Then something dawns on him. “How are you even here?”

“I’m appearing to you through the Force. Now that you’ve opened yourself up to the light those who have been trying to reach you all these years can now manifest in front of you. And believe me when I say that there’s a line, but I was going to be damned if your mother wasn’t going to be the first to see you,” she says with a smile.

“Would Father happen to be behind you?” Ben asks.

Leia shakes her head sadly, “I’m afraid not, but that is a good thing. It means he didn’t have any unfinished business before he died.”

For the second time in a thirty minute span, Ben’s eyebrows meet in a furrow.

 

XXXX

 

Rey watches as streaks of white and blue fly past the window of her quarters as she and the Resistance make their way back to their base. They left the day after Leia’s interment, loading the shuttle Rey came to Chandrila on in the Nebulous’ hangerbay.

Rey’s mind becomes lost in the beams soaring by her window. Her mind drifts to Ben like it always does. He told her not to save him, but that’s not good enough for her. Now that Rey has been with him she can think of no one else in this galaxy that she wants to be her partner.

He may have been a monster, but does anyone really choose to become a monster? Rey thinks back to something she read in the Jedi texts back on Ach’ To. “No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks.” All roads to hell are paved with good intentions, and having met Snoke, Rey understood how Ben’s good intentions were manipulated.

Rey is pulled from her thoughts by the chime of her door. She goes to open it and sees Master Luke standing in her doorway. “Rey, if you are all settled in I was wondering if you’d like to go for a stroll through the ship,” he says. His hands are tucked into his robes’ sleeves.

She nods and follows him out into the stark hallway. They are quiet as they make their passes through the main hallways, pass the canteen, training room, storage and bridge. No one stops them, but some do stare. It’s a strange sight on the Resistance destroyer, two Jedi taking a stroll together. It’s not until they come to a viewport that Luke halts. Rey takes up a place next to him, setting her feet shoulder-width apart and her hands clasped behind her back. The viewport and the stance she takes remind her of Ben and how he used to always stare out into space in his apartments. She was so sure that he did it for hours at a time, trying to order his thoughts, his impulses. She gives a soft huff of laughter.

Luke turns to her, eyebrows piqued in question. “When I was on the Finalizer, Ben got me from my cell late one night. He had come from some fancy banquet on Ilum and was in ceremonial robes. He brought me to his apartments, so that I could see the planet from his private viewport. He taught me to dance,” she recalls.

Luke draws in a breath. “You are very lucky to have seen that side of him. That was a side I didn’t think would ever resurface again. It completely disappeared after he turned sixteen when Kylo Ren appeared.”

“You mean when Snoke appeared,” Rey corrects. Luke nods his head in accordance. “We talked a lot about starting a new Jedi Order, Ben and I.” Rey doesn’t know why she tells Luke this, but for some reason she wants him to know.

For the first time since starting their walk, Luke’s stare meets Rey’s. She notices that his blue eyes have started to gray around his pupils, now matching his hair and beard. It makes him look unequivocally tired. “What will this new Order be based on?” he asks.

“Balance,” Rey answers. It’s one word, but when it sails from her mouth and hangs like an orbiting ship around them, she can feel how right it sounds. And as Luke takes in the word she can see a contentedness settle in his features.

“As it should be,” he responds. A small beat of silence passes between them before Luke speaks again. “You fell in love with him didn’t you? Kylo Ren?”

Rey shakes her head causing her chestnut hair to lightly hit her cheeks with the movement. “No, I fell in love with Ben Solo. Kylo Ren was Snoke’s creation and the dark parts of Ben Solo. I just happen to love those parts of him too.”

“I apologize for ever doubting you. When I saw him in the hut with you I feared you would wander the same path, and when we heard you were taken prisoner I thought your fate was all but sealed to the dark,” he explains.

“I didn’t become part of the dark, the dark became part of me. I have both light and dark inside of me, both of which have a time and place for their uses. I’m still learning when to use each and so is Ben, but we neither belong to one or the other anymore,” she says. “Master Luke, do you think there is room for love in the Jedi Order?”

Luke’s mouth rises in a half-smile, “Maybe in the new Jedi Order.” Rey blushes at his answer and looks down to her feet.

 

XXXX

 

“We haven’t done this since you were a little boy,” Leia remarks as she and her son sit on his bed within his cell. She holds his large hand clasped in hers and lying on her lap. She sighs and looks up and around the small space. “It’s nice to see that the First Order believes in somewhat comfortable prisoner cells than the Empire. I know the one I was in when Darth Vader captured me was just a metal bed. So uncomfortable.”

“Where you scared when you were Vader’s prisoner?” Ben asks his mother hesitantly.

She turns her gaze to him. “Sometimes, but I spent most the time finding a way to get myself out, which I was able to do.”

“I thought Uncle Luke and Father saved you,” Ben says.

Leia gives a hearty chuckle. “Is that what they told you?”

“Yes,” Ben smiles at her. “They said all you did was get them stuck in a trash compactor.”

Leia’s laugh has transformed into a snort now, “When I see your father next I am totally giving him a piece of my mind.”

“Because that’s any different then any conversation you’ve had with him,” Ben retorts, which causes Leia’s laugh to become a full guffaw. It soon dies into silence. “Why didn’t you tell me about my grandfather?”

A frown crosses Leia’s face. “I didn’t want you to be like him. I didn’t want this huge shadowy figure looming over you like I had. So, I thought in order to do that I had to keep him from you. I thought distancing you from those you loved would do that. That’s part of the reason I sent you to Luke. I should have told you. I feel now that his tale was more of a cautionary one than a prophecy,” she explains.

Ben sighs. “Well, unfortunately his cautionary tale ends just after his redemption, so I can’t really learn anything about how to move on from what I have done.”

“Well, there is one thing you have that he didn’t,” Leia points out. Ben raises an eyebrow in question. “Me. I will always love you, Ben, good, bad, or ugly. You have never and will never disappoint me. That is the best gift a parent can give their child, unconditional love. And there will be others that will help you through it. You’ll see, I’m just the start. The most important person, though; is Rey.”

“Rey,” he whispers her name like a prayer.

Leia nods. “The next time you see her, tell her thank you for me.” He nods. “I have to leave you now, my little galaxy.” She stands and he follows

“Why?” he questions. “I don’t want you to leave.” Ben soon finds his cheek heating at the confession, sounding like the little boy he was so long ago.

      “I know, but I won’t really be gone. No one is ever truly gone. I’ll always be right here.” With that she takes her right hand and lays if flat over Ben’s heart. “You are meant for great things, my little galaxy. I am so proud of you.”

Ben’s tears flow freely as his mother’s visage evaporates into the Force around him.

 

XXXX

 

Rey’s yellow lightsaber staff is a blur of motion and a whir of sound as she spins around the matts in the training room aboard the Nebulous. Her actions are strong yet swift with power behind every slight or punctuated movement. She knows if word doesn’t come back from the Finalizer in time that she could very well be rescuing Ben with only Finn at her side. She has to be prepared.

Rey hears the creak of the matt behind her as someone takes a step closer to her. She promptly turns and brings the left side of her saber behind her holding it at the trembling form of the former Stormtrooper. “Uh, nice blade,” he says swallowing, his Adam’s apple almost touching the tip of the saber’s energy beem.

Rey pulls it back with a blush. “Thanks.”

“This is the one Ben made you?” he asks. She nods. “What happened to Skywalker’s?”

“He and I sort of broke it with the Force while fighting over it,” she admits.

Finn nods his head in understanding like two Force users breaking a legendary lightsaber is a normal occurrence around here. Rey moves to the wall to take a swig of water from her canteen and Finn follows her. They both take a seat with their backs against the wall. “You seem so different,” he remarks after taking her in with a sideways glance.

She nudges him with her elbow. “So do you. I guess that’s what a year of imprisonment and fighting will do to you,” she counters.

Finn puts his arm around Rey’s shoulders and they sit in a companionable silence. She inhales deeply and takes in the smell of Finn’s leather jacket gifted to him by Poe. “I missed you,” he says. “It was weird not having my best friend around when I woke up. Whose hand was I supposed to hold?”

Rey snorts. “Oh, I think you found a hand to hold alright,” she teases him.

“I’m not the one who went and fell in love!”

She pulls away from him and gives him a look of incredulity. “Yeah, you did.”

“Pssh, yeah I did,” he laughs. “Did you ever imagine any of this for us?”

She shakes her head. “No. I literally thought I would be a scavenger on Jakku for the rest of my life.”

“And to think you wanted to go back there.”

“Maz was right. There was nothing for me there. Everything I was looking for was ahead of me.”

“Ben?” he asks and again she nods. “I’m happy for you.”

She leans sideways against him so that her forehead is touching his. “Me too, for you.”

They stay like that for a few long moments. Except, Rey finds it hard to sit still for too long. Finn can feel her playing with a buckle on her boots. “You’re worried about him, huh?” Rey gives a silent nod. “I know how you feel. Rose was injured about nine months ago during a land battle on Akiva. She was piloting a short-ranged skiff and a rocket hit her ski causing the craft to go tumbling. She was in a coma for a couple of days. It had to be the scariest feeling in my life.” Rey doesn’t respond but Finn knows that she is comforted by someone who understands her anxiety. A few more minutes pass before Finn has an idea to help her get some of the nerves out. “Hey, you want a sparring partner?” he asks sensing her sadness.

“I would like that,” she answers.

They both get up, and while Rey is wiping her hands on her pants, Finn is removing his jacket. “Okay, but we’re only doing hand-to-hand. Ever since Starkiller I’ve decided I was going to stay away from lightsabers for a while and the way you were twirling yours around I now solidly stand by that decision.”

Rey turns to Finn with a glint in her eyes. “How about I teach you to meditate in the Force?”

Finn smiles, “That sounds great, but I’m not sure that’s how the Force works.”

Rey rolls her eyes.

 

XXXX

 

Rey knows her brain works better when her hands are busy. That’s why after her meditation with Finn she asks him to show her to the tech room, to see if there was anything that she could help repair.

Come to find out there were several BB units needing parts replaced. Rey responded with a crack of her knuckles and took a seat on a rolling stool. As the evening wears on, she looks up to find that she is the only one left in the room. She shrugs and moves on to the next BB unit who needs a new saw arm attachment and an antenna.

She is so focused that she doesn’t even hear the space hollow out. “I’ve always liked it when you worked with your hands,” the timbre of his voice makes Rey pause and smile to herself.

“Why do I think that, that statement can be taken two different ways?” she asks as the BB unit she’s working on - a round ball of gray and red - swivels its head to look behind Rey, shortly after it lets out a few confused beeps as it registers that there is nothing there.

“Take it anyway you like,” Ben says.

Rey quickly finishes giving the BB unit his new antenna and it quickly speeds off. She then turns to take in Ben’s tall form. Maker, she forgot how tall he is. She licks her lips. “How are you holding up?”

He shrugs. “Not too bad. My mother visited me today.”

Rey’s large hazel eyes widen in surprise. “What? How?”

Ben gives her a small smile, the kind that only move one corner of his mouth ever so slightly. “She visited me through her form in the Force. We talked about a lot. She wanted me to tell you thank you from her.”

Rey gives her head a small shake like it will dislodge the disbelief at what Ben has just told her. “Wow. That’s extraordinary. I had no idea that could happen.”

“Luke once told me of when he saw Yoda and Obi-wan Kenobi - his two old Masters - along with my grandfather right after his redemption. The three of them appeared to him on Yavin 4 during the Rebellion’s celebration,” Ben recounts. “My mother said that she isn’t the only one who wants to see me either.”

“Who else wants to see you?”

“I have no idea.”

“Well, I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“I’m fine, I promise. Hux hasn’t actually done anything to me. Probably wants to me took top notch for my execution.”

Rey visibly flinches at the word. “About that. Poe says we have to wait for a spy to confirm my account of escape before he will devote resources in your rescue, but I don’t care if he helps. I’m coming either way. I’m going to get you out of there.”

“Rey, I’ve already told you to not worry about me. You don’t need to rescue me. It’s just putting you in unnecessary danger,” he moves to take both of her hands in his. “Please.”

“No.” Her voice is filled with finality. “I’ve already made the decision.”

“I forbid you to come and rescue me,” he counters.

“Ben -”

“No, Rey. I will not have you put yourself at risk!” he pulls his hands from hers and backs up a bit. His volume lifts filling her ears with the rush of his voice.

“Why not?!” she has to shout just to hear herself over him.

“Because I’m not worth it! I don’t deserve it!” The words come rushing out like an avalanche and with them come his tears.

“Of course you’re worth it. Why would you think such a thing?” she asks. She can feel her own well of tears spring open.

A single tear sits on his chin and it reminds Rey of how he looked just after the battle with Snoke’s guards. “I have done things no one can come back from, Rey. There is no redemption for me.”

“That’s not true,” her cries have become sobs now. “Ben, I showed you the light. Now all you have to do is want it, to chose it.”

Their bond forces Ben and Rey apart and he can’t respond to her. All he can do is sit on the small bed in his cell, hold his head in his hands and think that he knows she’s right. He’s just scared to make the choice because the fear of it being torn away from him is crippling to the point where he’d rather die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SOOO sorry you all had to wait. This past week at work was crazy. For those of you who don't know I work as a reporter for my local newspaper and things can get kind of hectic there. Anyway, I have loved all your comments so please keep them coming. You have no idea how much they motivate me. I will try to update more often this week, however, I have a concert review on Saturday for work, so it could be a bit sporadic.
> 
> This chapter's song is Above the Clouds of Pompeii by Bear's Den.
> 
> Remember comments and kudos!


	10. Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets a much needed distraction from her worries and Ben still struggles with the idea of redemption.

_"I'm meaner than my demons."_ \- "Control" by Halsey

Ben had not lied to Rey. He was not worth saving. Redemption is this elusive feeling that desperately curled like smoke through Ben’s fingers whenever he tried to grasp it. He feels the light in him now, that much is true, but all it does is just make darker shadows within his soul.

The heaviness of his deeds - the murder of his father, the ruin he wrecked on people’s lives like the natural disaster he is - these are things that he feels he could never come back from, no matter how long or how far down the path of light he walks. There can never be anything that can make him feel differently. Not even Rey’s love, which had been like a guiding star, a beacon, shining bright over a dark expanse telling him that she’d safely bring him home.

But Ben knew, even from the beginning, that he would never be able to go home again. He knew he would find the light, if he allowed himself to, but that was as far as he was able to go. The last step he has to take over the threshold is to forgive himself, and he isn’t sure he is strong enough to do that.

“Ah, there is my namesake,” the voice is a British lilt breaking through Ben’s meditations gently like a boat through water. “Although, I see that’s where the resemblance ends. I hate meditating.”

Ben pops open his right eye from his position on his bed. The figure that stand before him in the blue haze of the Force is a man who seems to be just a few inches under six feet with short, perfectly parted brown hair and a full, meticulously trimmed beard to match. Ben closes his eye. “I don’t like it either, but what else am I to do here?” The question is rhetorical. “Obi-wan Kenobi I presume, or do you prefer Ben?”

“Either, they are the same person are they not?” Obi-wan takes up position leaning casually against the wall of Ben’s cell. “Goodness, I didn’t think I would have to be back so soon after appearing to Luke on Dagobah with Master Yoda. You Skywalkers can’t seem to get your fucking shit together can you?”

Ben snorts at the man’s honesty. “I suppose not. Also, that was over thirty years ago.”

“Was it really?” Ben nods. “I suppose time flies when watching the events of the galaxy.”

“I suppose watching one family destroy the world around them can be quite entertaining. Though, I am sorry that I sullied your name. It was an honor that I was not ready for, nor did I understand,” Ben replies as he opens his eyes to watch the man whose personality seems to take up all the space in the room.

Obi-wan moves over to take a seat next to Ben on the bed, back ramrod straight, hands resting lightly on his thighs. “You did those things as Kylo Ren, and Kylo Ren was manipulated by Snoke. Ben, however, has a chance at redemption.”

Ire flashes through Ben’s veins. “Why does everyone keep using that word? Redemption.”

“What do you prefer? Restitution? Atonement?”

“None. Redemption is not on my path. I did my duty. I saved Rey. She showed me the light. Now I will die with at least a piece of my soul intact.”

“Let me ask you a question, and I want an honest answer,” Obi-wan starts his voice gaining a softness. “Do you love Rey?”

Ben doesn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

“Then you will find a way to redemption because the only way you can be with her is if you find it within yourself.” Ben is silent, contemplation covering his face like moss on a rock.

His love and devotion to Rey is the strongest feeling Ben has ever known, stronger even than any rage or anger he has ever sensed. It is an immolation that burns through every layer of him, yet it does no damage. Instead it is a comfort, an anchor, a place where he can shelter himself in times when he feels that he is in chaos.

Noticing his reverie Obi-wan speaks. “Do you know how your grandfather fell? Why he chose to do the deeds that twisted him into Darth Vader?” Ben shakes his head. Snoke had told him once, but given everything he has learned he is sure that it is not the true story. “When your grandfather was very young he met and fell in love with a queen.

“Her name was Padme Amidala, your grandmother. They were married in secret right as the Clone Wars were starting. A few years later, Padme found herself pregnant. One night, Anakin had a dream, a premonition, of Padme’s death. He saw her dying in childbirth. At the time, Padme dismissed Anakin’s fears, telling him that it couldn’t possibly be true. After all, she had had a healthy pregnancy up to that point.

“As Padme’s due date drew nearer, things started to become complicated within the Republic. Anakin learned that Chancellor Palpatine, the leader of the Senate, was really Darth Sidious, the Master of the Sith. However, in order to avoid death Sidious offered your grandfather a way to save your grandmother. He told Anakin that he could teach him how to conquer death using the Dark Side of the Force.

“Anakin joined him and led the attack on the Jedi, wiping them out of existence. And not just the masters, but the padawans and the younglings, too. He helped kill them all. Padme learned of this and confronted your grandfather. He lashed out at her, choked her with the Force, but that’s not what killed her. I was able to stop him from killing her then.

“What killed your grandmother was Anakin’s transformation. The knowledge that he caused such pain and bloodshed devastated her to the point where after she delivered your mother and uncle she lost the will to live. Before she died, however, she made it a point that I knew that there was still good in the man who had morphed into the creature named Darth Vader.

“He was a completely different person, but your grandmother, she knew that Anakin Skywalker - that little boy she met years ago on Tatooine - still existed in him somewhere. She knew because of her love for him.

“I should have known back then. Should have seen the signs, but we were at war. The Jedi were acting as generals, a capacity we were never supposed to have inhabited. But looking back, it made sense. Love is a very strong emotion, one that can bring pain and discord, but also peace and joy.

“It was love that turned your grandfather into Darth Vader, but it was love, too, that redeemed him. The love your grandfather had for your uncle and your mother was how he found the light again. Love is what made you find the light, was it not?”

Ben’s voice is barely a breath of a whisper. “Yes.”  
“So, what would you rather have: a long life of love with Rey or a short life of guilt and pain?”

“What if I feel like I don’t deserve that long life?” Tears begin to coat Ben’s cheeks, running in small rivulets down his face.

Obi-wan sighs, “That’s for you to decide.”

 

XXXX

 

It’s the evenings that effect Rey the most. It’s the only time that she doesn’t have something to do. No training, no prepping, no working on the Falcon with Chewie, and it unnerves her. She finds the quiet moments begin to fill with worry and anxiety.

As Rey sits on her bed in her private quarters aboard the Nebulous she thinks back to her last conversation with Ben, and she becomes confused. _How can he think he doesn’t deserve to be happy, doesn’t deserve atonement?_ she thinks. _If anyone deserves it it’s him._

He has fought all his life against Snoke and his mind games. In the moments when it counted, he chose the right choice. How has he not earned redemption from his deeds alone? He saved her life. Doesn’t that count for something. _Who is telling him he doesn’t deserve this?_ she thinks.

And as soon as she thinks it the voice inside her answers, _Him._ Rey finds herself shaking her head with disbelief. Her hands sit by her sides and she suddenly finds herself balling her hands into fists with anger, not at Ben, but at the situation. Because she knows that if Ben is going to find redemption he will have to forgive himself, and that is a choice he can only make alone. No amount of insistence on her part can do it for him.

Rey is drawn out of her contemplation when her door chimes. She walks over, pushes the door panel, and is greeted with the slightly smiling faces of Poe, Finn, and Rose. “We thought you could use some company,” Finn explains and since he’s not wrong, she moves aside to let them in.

They all find places to sit inside the small space. The boys deposit themselves on the floor and Rose takes a seat next to Rey on the bed and hugs her. “It’s so nice to have a girl around. I mean, Finn, Poe, you’re both great . . .”

Poe holds up his hands, “No need to explain.”

“Yeah,” Finn agrees. “Plus, we can all admit that Poe has become a true tight ass since he’s stepped up as general.” Poe throws a glare at Finn. “What? It’s true!”

“Okay, yeah, maybe a little bit,” he confesses.

“Maybe a lot of bit,” comes Finn’s reply.

“So, how are you doing?” Rose asks Rey.

Three sets of eyes turn to her, and it makes Rey want to become one with the mattress she’s currently sitting on. “I’ve been better.”

“Even when you were a prisoner?” Poe asks.

She nods. “Yeah, at least with that I knew at least what to expect. Ben made this decree as Supreme Leader that prisoners could only be tortured every four days, so I always knew when it was coming. But they’re not even torturing Ben. It was just straight to execution.”

“How do you know that?” Poe asks.

But Finn speaks over him, “Well, let’s take your mind off of it. What would you like to talk about? How about Jedi training? What is that like?”

“I like it. It allows me to do things with my hands, like back on Jakku. I also find the teaching interesting.”

“What’s it like to be a Jedi, to have Force powers?” Poe asks abandoning his question from earlier.

Rey gives a small smile and shakes her head. “That’s like asking you what it’s like to be a pilot.” Poe considers this for a moment and then nods his head.

“Well, Rey, if you like to busy yourself so much, you are more than welcome to help me out sometime with the ships in the hanger once we reach the base,” Rose offers.

“Oh, that would be great!”

“Just come in anytime and say, ‘Rose, I need to do something.’”

Rey nods. “So, what has happened while I was gone?”

As soon as she asks she regrets it. Rey is bombarded with replies on all sides. She make out bits of stories here and there. Something about a mission on Balmorra, in which Finn was attacked by a Balmorran metal parasite; Rose excitedly recounts the time they received a new order of X-Wings a few months back; and Poe talks about trying new maneuvers in dog fights high above the atmosphere of planets Rey has never even heard of. It takes a while before they all make it through their various narratives, but when they do a deafening silence falls. Rey can only smile because she only caught about a third of each of the their tales.

They sit in inevitable silence a few moments more before Rose breaks it. “So, what is Ben like?”

“Scary,” Finn and Poe reply in unison.

Rose’s eyes grow wide and she turns to Rey. She can’t help but laugh at them. “Well, not anymore. I mean maybe in the way that he is tall and wears all black, but he’s gotten rid of the mask. His voice is deep, too, so that doesn’t help matters, I suppose.”

“Wait. I’m confused,” Rose starts. “I thought Ben was another Resistance fighter that was captured by the First Order.”

Poe and Finn burst out in laughter. “No, sweetheart,” Finn answers her. “Do you know who Kylo Ren is?”

“Who doesn’t?” she answers. Rey squirms beside her, the uncomfortable feeling growing in her stomach.

“Do you know who Ben Solo is?” Poe asks.

“He’s General Leia’s son, right?”

Poe nods. “Yes, well, they’re one in the same person,” Finn explains. “Ben became Kylo Ren when he pledged himself to the First Order and the Dark Side of the Force.”

Rey can feel Rose as she shifts on the bed to look at her. “You fell in love with Kylo Ren?”

“He’s no longer Kylo Ren. He has changed. I swear,” she says as she takes Rose’s hands in her own.

Poe laughs, “Are you sure? If we make him angry is he going to mind trick us or choke us with the Force?”

“I might if this line of questioning persists,” Ben answers from the corner of the room. Rey jumps in surprise and quickly looks over at his hulking frame. His eyes are hooded, but even from across the small room Rey can make out their golden glow.

Then, before she can even process what is happening, Rey is letting out a bubbly giggle and in return a shy smile creeps across Ben’s face. “He says if you keep asking questions like that, Poe, he just might.”

In a flash Poe’s smile disappears. “What?”

“How do you know that? What are you looking at?” Finn asks glancing from Rey’s face to the empty corner of the room.

But Rey only has eyes for Ben, in that moment, trying to reconcile the self-deprecating creature with the beautiful man who is smiling demurely at her causing a feeling to curl low in her abdomen. “I was just coming to check on you. I miss you, Rey.”

“You, too,” she responds. Rey turns back to the other three bodies in the room and notices their questioning gazes. “So, I suppose I need to explain something to you all. Ben and I have a bond through the Force,” she starts.

“Okay, that is definitely how the Force should work,” Finn interrupts.

Rey continues talking through a smile, every so often glancing up to look at Ben watching her. “It started back when he kidnapped me from Takodana, and took me in for interrogation. He tried to enter my mind and in retaliation, I entered his, therefore forging a Force bond.

“While I was with Luke on Ach’ To, we kept connecting, and that’s when I learned the truth about why he joined the First Order,” Rey goes on to explain to the trio how Luke, in a moment of weakness, tried to murder his nephew, and how Rey knew from just one touch of a hand that Ben could be saved.

When she’s done she’s met with looks spanning various degrees of surprise. “So, he can hear us?” Finn asks.

“He can see us?” Poe asks.

“You can connect to each other whenever you want?” Rose asks.

Rey looks at Ben in question. “I can hear them, but just slightly.”

“Yes, he can hear you, though, it’s not always like that. He can’t see you, and we haven’t figured out how to control it yet. Actually, we never really talked about controlling it. I just always trusted that the Force would connect us when we needed the other person,” Rey answers.

“Me too. Until every last star,” Ben’s pledge is a quiet whisper. Rey looks up just in time to see the glow of Ben’s bronze eyes fade.

 

XXXX

 

Though, it was only for a few short moments, Ben liked seeing Rey with her friends. He could feel from the atmosphere in the room, that they were there to distract her from her worries. He’s glad that she has that support in her life, that she’s being looked after by people who care for her. Maker, he misses her.

“United again soon, you and young Rey will be,” the voice is a distinct croak. Quickly, thereafter, a figure just over two feet in height appears before Ben. The alien holds a gnarled cane and his ears are long and pointed. Between his ears are wispy strands of gray hair. “Young Solo,” he says by way of greeting.

Ben quirks an eyebrow. “Who are you?”

A maniacal chuckle comes from the creature. “Master Yoda, I am.”

Ben nods, “I expected more.”

“To disappointment, expectation leads,” Yoda says while pointing a finger at Ben’s standing figure. “To my level, come down, young Solo. See you, I cannot. Very old eyes, I have.”

Ben stoops and takes a seat just before Yoda on the floor. “Better?” he asks. The Jedi Master nods. “Her friends were scared of me. If I follow this path of redemption and let Rey rescue me, how will I convince her friends that I’ve changed?”

“Confirm your transformation, your actions will. Louder do they speak, than words,” Yoda says as he rests both his hands on his walking stick.

Ben sighs, “I still don’t know if I deserve a second chance.”

Yoda crows out a ‘hmmm’ as he thinks for a moment, “Given to those who were not ready, are second chances. Sign that you deserve one, the fact that you are asking is. Wise it is, to ask of one’s own intentions.

“The folly of the Jedi, this was. Acted without hesitation or concern for future consequences, they did. Too much hubris without humility, they exhibited. Too much righteousness, they had. As judge, jury and executioner, did they act. No way to keep the peace, it was. Disguised as peacemaking and the Light Side of the Force, their power was.”

“Many times of balance, did they speak, but too afraid to practice it, they were. Bring balance to the Force alone, young Rey cannot, but a different breed of Jedi together, you and she can create. Connected by the Force for this purpose, you two were.”

“But you were part of the Jedi during that time,” Ben states confused.

“Admit my mistakes, I can. Failure, the best teacher makes. Learn from failure, the Jedi did not. Different, you must be, and balance, you can find.

“Leave you to meditate on this, I will. Listen to Master Kenobi, you should not. Very valuable tool, meditation is.”

With another small cackle Yoda disappears, and Ben is left to reflect on his backwards speech.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good Lord, writing Yoda's dialogue is a bitch, but I still love him. Remember comments water the writer's garden. So please leave me some. This chapter's song is Control by Halsey. I will try to have another chapter up by the end of this weekend.


	11. Heaven's Gate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux tests his new weapon. Rey starts to make moves to save Ben.

_"If there were anymore left of me I'd give it to you."_ \- "Heaven's Gate" by Fall Out Boy

Once the Force bond dissolved between Rey and Ben, Finn, Rose, and Poe bombarded her with questions. Most were about her time as prisoner aboard the Finalizer and some were about the Force bond itself. Rey had tried her best to answer the questions, but many times she found herself responding ‘I don’t know.’ Their talking had persisted well into the depths of the night with each of them falling asleep where they had sat.

At least that’s where Chewbacca finds them after the door to Rey’s quarters chimes and opens to let him in. Chewie’s gaze flicks from person to person starting with Rey and Rose, who are squished together, back to back, on Rey’s small bed. On the floor lies Poe and Finn, both of whom have their arms around each other subsequently for warmth. Finn lets out a small snore, mouth agape.

A gruff roar erupts deep from Chewie’s chest startling Poe awake. He quickly looks down to see Finn encompassed in his arms. He gently removes them from around the ex-Stormtrooper as he wakes in turn. Finn squints his eyes in a sleepy daze up at what he makes out to be a large shag carpet with legs. Chewie then looks to the bed where Rose is covering her ears with her hands, and Rey groans, stretching her arms above her head.

Rey turns her hazel gaze to Chewie and immediately gets up. “How did you get in?” she asks him.

He holds a blue transparent card in his paw - indicating the universal card key - and gives a soft cry that then grows into a rumble.

“Looking for me? Why?” answers Poe in return like he’s forgotten in his sleepy haze that he’s become the general of the Resistance. He’s now standing and straightening his vest. Chewie answers with a longer growl this time. “We’ll be landing on Boz Pity in an hour and word has come from our spy on the Finalizer,” he translates turning towards the others.

Rey’s eyes blink several time and then move to meet Finn’s. He gives her a stiff nod of assurance as they all make their way toward the hanger.

 

XXXX

 

    About two hours later Poe, Finn, Rose, Rey, Chewie, Luke, C3PO, R2-D2, BB-8, and a few other Resistance officials surround the holo table of the control room of the Boz Pity base. The base is large with a gigantic hangar holding multiple star-destroyers, X-Wings, and bombers as well as huge ground assault weapons.

    The other biggest part of the base is the troop quarters. Poe estimates that around 25,000 personnel are housed here. The base, which was left over from the Clone Wars, was acquired by the Resistance as a back up a few years ago. Leia had brought the Resistance here as a rally point to gain supporters and armament, as it was the only base she could think of that would be large enough to amass a martial force. Housing clone troopers had been no easy feat back in the day.

Rey looks around the control room at the faces next to her. All are austere, serious and bathed in the eerie green glow of the hologram projection of the table.

“It seems that our spy supports Rey’s story of her escape from the Finalizer. Kylo Ren, now Ben Solo, was last seen pushing Rey up the ramp of his personal Upsilon-class shuttle - which we have now secured in our hanger bay. Our spy was also able to get us intelligence on where the First Order is now keeping Ben prisoner,” Poe starts. A projection appears of the Finalizer in the middle of the metal table and it moves to illustrate along with Poe’s report. “He’s being held in the South detention block in cell number 1191.”

“Fuck,” Rey exclaims with a cynical chuckle. All faces turn to her. “I know exactly where that is. That’s where they kept me.”

“Ben now has four days left until his scheduled execution,” Luke points out.

Poe keeps a steady gaze on Rey, “Take a small cohort with you to rescue Ben. If you’re going to get him out of there stealth will be your friend, so take that into consideration when you choose. Are there any volunteers?”

“I’m definitely going,” Finn pipes up. Rose puts a hand on his shoulder and he gives her a silent promise of his return.

A roar gurgles from Chewie as he enlists his aid followed by a few loud beeps coming from BB-8. “Are you sure, little buddy?” Poe asks him. BB-8 replies with a loud indignant beep. “Okay, if you insist.”

Lastly, Luke sighs. “I will go with you. I have a feeling you’re going to need some old blood on this mission.”

Rey gives him a tight hug in thanks, and then looks at her team.

 

XXXX

 

    Ben takes a deep inhale through his nose and exhales it through his lightly parted mouth. He’s been trying to center himself for several minutes, but there is some type of energy on the Finalizer that keeps pulling him out. It leaves a metallic taste in Ben’s mouth and an inky blackness on his psyche.

    It makes his head feel muggy, like he’s trying to walk through swampy water that is up to his thighs. Everything moves at a sluggish pace, leaving him somewhat disoriented. He’s able to pull himself out, but when he starts to try to find his core again the feeling comes rushing back.

    One more deep breath and Ben delves into his mind once more. He expects to beat up against that darkened wall again, but instead it’s been replaced by a bright white mist. The air no longer feels heavy, but light with a gentle breeze ruffling the strands of his hair. There he feels a peace like untouched, freshly fallen snow and it’s smell is just as clean like petrichor.

    “You look just like your grandfather with your brows furrowed together like that.” The voice that meets his ears is untainted, ringing like silver bells.

    Ben opens his eyes and relaxes them, not having realized that in his surprise of being met by this tranquility his face moved to fit his confusion. “You look familiar,” he tells the figure. “Are you my guardian angel?” Ben had heard the tales of the beautiful creatures that were rumored to dwell on Iego.

    A radiant smile graces the face that peers down at him in his sitting position on the floor. “I used to visit you when you were just a little boy. Don’t you remember?” the angel replies.

    Ben takes in the figure standing before him, doused in a delicate white-yellow light. She wears a sleeveless, floor-length white dress with a translucent cape draped across her shoulders. The cape flares out into a train, and it seems to shimmer like stardust has been brushed against it. Her curly dark hair is pulled back into an unruly plait with white flowers interspersed amongst the chords.

Suddenly memories come flashing back to Ben. A blindingly white figure on a beach on a small island in a lake on Naboo. He shakes his head. That seems to have been the last time he had seen her. A less bright figure with distinct features holding his hand as he walks through a meadow on Chandrila. A melodic voice saying his name.

“Ben?” Her call pulls him from his reverie. “Have you figured it out yet?” Ben, still having been startled at his rekindled memories, can not respond. “I’m your grandmother. My name is Padme.”

“How is that possible? You weren’t Force-sensitive.” He blushes immediately at his outburst, and inwardly scolds himself for his rudeness.

Padme just chuckles. “I carried around your mother and your uncle for nine months, and since I died with some of their essence still left inside my womb I was delivered into the hands of the Force.”

Ben is not one to debate the effects of the Force on pregnancy, especially because it would be the farthest out of his depth he would ever be if he did, so he doesn’t argue with her. “Grandfather loved you very much.” He doesn’t know why he says it, but he does with a surprising amount of surety in his voice.

“Almost as much as you love Rey,” she says making her way around his cell. Ben stands and watches her. He has her eyes he realizes. Padme’s eyes hold her heart for everyone to see and they express her emotions without needing any type of translation. If she’s happy they are bright and brown and twinkling. If she’s sad they are dark and hooded and of a chocolate hue, but one thing that never changes about them is that they are kind.

“Do you blame yourself?” he begins to ask. “For his fall to the dark, I mean.”

Padme takes a seat on the bed and pats the space beside her for her grandson to join her. Once he is perched next to her she answers him, “It was not my fault, so no, I do not blame myself. The only person who is responsible for Anakin’s fall is Anakin himself. He had so much fear, and that fear cost him a very high price.”

Ben nods and worries the inside of his cheek between his teeth. Padme reaches over and takes Ben’s hand in hers. Her hands are only slightly smaller than Rey’s he notices. “You’re scared that you can’t come back from your fall.” It’s not a question because she knows she already knows the answer. “You need not worry, Ben. You have already overcome the folly that Anakin could not. You were able to let go of the thing you loved most.”

“I was sacrificing myself. I was trading my life for hers,” he explains.

Padme shakes her head. “Is that what you keep telling yourself? You know as well as I do that you saved her life because you knew she would go to her friends and come back to get you. You know that this is only a temporary separation.

“You and Rey are two halves of a whole, which in this galaxy, is really rare to have. You are afraid it’s true. You’re afraid that you are not deserving of this love because of all the dark deeds you did before it, but the galaxy is not random. Everything happens for a reason. Since both of your births, you and Rey were meant to be together, were meant to bring balance, no matter what actions you and her took between then and now.

You just have to decide if your fear of being undeserving is enough to throw away your destiny.”

Padme gives him a pleading look and softly takes her hands from his. She brings them up, threads them through Ben’s black hair, and pulls his head towards her to place a kiss on his strong brow.

“Think about what I have said. Remember, the galaxy doesn’t just do things on a whim,” she says rising and walking towards the back wall of the cell. “I love you.” Her last words echo through Ben’s brain as she fades through air.

 

XXXX

 

Huffs and pants explode from Rey’s lungs as she lunges and twirls with her yellow saber in hand. Shortly after the meeting in the control room, Rey scouted out the training room and immediately decided to take out her nerves on the air within.

She’s been at it for about two hours now and she can feel the familiar burn through her muscles. It comforts her, reminds her that she is mortal, and that she has a job to do. She will be damned if she lets the First Order have Ben. They took Han and Leia, but they won’t claim the last Solo in this galaxy. Not if she can help it.

“Your new blade suits you. I’m glad you like it. I meditated on it for a few hours to get the right grip and feel for you,” Ben’s voice breaks into her head mid-slash.

She disengages her weapon and turns to see him there. A rosy blush is added to her already red face. “I love it. It’s balanced and the length is perfect. I didn’t know you could make a saber staff.”

“The design was a favorite of the Jedi Bastila Shan, a formidable warrior and more than competent Force user,” Ben tells her.

“I’m jealous of your knowledge. I wish I knew what you did about the Jedi. All I have is what the Ancient Jedi Texts tell me, and it’s not much in the way of history,” she explains.

He gives her a small smirk, “I’ll teach you.” She smiles back at him. “We never trained together while you were here.”

She walks slowly toward him and sticks out her hand to him, “We will train together after I rescue you. I promise. We are leaving first thing tomorrow.”

Ben finds that his hand is drawn to hers, and he lightly touches her hand with his like they did so long ago in the hut back on Ach’ To. “Thank you, for not giving up on me,” he says.

“I will never give up on you, Ben Solo,” her voice is laced with steely determination and he is so very grateful for it.

He takes his hand back. “Do you mind if we go through some forms together? I’m starting to get very antsy locked up in this cell.”

She nods and takes a starting position. He mirrors her, and together, balanced, they go through the motions.

 

XXXX

 

Rey walks into the expansive hanger bay of the Boz Pity base looking for Rose. She finds her working on one of the old X-Wing fighters with BB-8.

“Hey Rose,” she says approaching her and leaning her shoulder against the starship.

Rose smiles, “Hey, what are you doing here?”

Rey takes a look around her before speaking, and seeing that they’re the only ones around for a few feet she speaks, “I have a special project I’m working on and I need to get it done before we leave tomorrow. Will you help me?”

Rose’s eyes grow bright. “Of course!”

BB-8 beeps a trill and Rey looks down to him, “You can help too!”

Before leaving the hanger Rey grabs a few tools and they continue to Rey’s quarters.

 

XXXX

 

A thin smile pastes across Hux’s narrow lips as he looks out of the viewport on the Finalizer’s bridge. In front of him is a planet draped in shades of green and brown with craters visible from space.

He hears a shuffling to his right and looks over to see Captain Sille - who he has promoted to general - leading two troopers holding Ben Solo by the upper arms between them. His smile grows wider and he shows a hint of teeth. The troopers push Ben to his knees in front of him and it makes him chuckle.

There are no words in any of the languages of the known galaxy that can describe the elation Hux feels at the scene before him. He has been dreaming of this moment since he conspired with Phasma to kill his father. “Hello, Solo,” he says knowing he’ll be met with silence.

Hux begins to walk in front of Ben. “I suppose you’re probably wondering why I let you out of your cage,” he says twirling his gloved hand in gesticulation. “Well, I promised you that you’d be the first person to witness the power of my new bio-chemical weapon and I always keep my promises. Unlike some people.”

One of the troopers brings the butt of blaster-rifle down and strikes Ben in his gut. A dry gasp wracks his throat.

“The weapon, which I have come to call Weapon Green Ion, is a miraculous thing. But well, I guess I should let you see for yourself. General Sille, release the cannisters,” Hux orders.

Ben looks over to the viewport. _Is that Utapau?_ he asks himself. Silver canisters are deployed and as they fall they catch the rays of Utapau’s sun. A few minutes later clouds of chartreuse bloom on the surface of the planet. “Bring up the live feed from the ground,” Hux commands.

An image flashes in the hazy blue of the holo transmitter. Ben recognizes Utais and Pau’ans going about their daily lives until another cloud of yellow bursts across the screen. Once the puff clears those figures are doubled over and clawing at their lungs and throat. “What are you doing?” Ben yells straining against his binders and the troopers holding him.

“Do you like it?” Hux’s eyes gleam murderously. “We have taken the Gold Tail plant and genetically engineered it, so that it acts as a gas. When that gas is inhaled and makes contact with the lungs of any species its starts to act like tar, suffocating anything living.”

Bright red instantly emerges across Ben’s face. “You!” he pulls against the troopers and is able to break free. He rushes up to Hux and headbutts him. He goes to kick him, but he is hauled back by another duo of Stormtroopers.

Hux puts a finger to his nose and lip and it comes away bloody. “Someone seems upset,” he says cackling.

“You’re a genocidal maniac! First Starkiller now this! You’re fucking crazy!” Ben is yelling at him, and with every word he is ripping his throat raw.

Hux’s eyes darken as his smile pulls farther across his face. “I have more news for you, Solo. Your Knights of Ren will be at your execution, so if I were you, I’d dress to impress.”

Ben’s face is still flaming crimson as he’s being hauled away, still shouting as he is dragged from view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your kudos and comments. They really get me going and the more comments I get the faster I want to post a new chapter. So please keep them coming. This chapter's song is Heaven's Gate by Fall Out Boy. I will hopefully have the next chapter up by Wednesday.


	12. Outgrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rescue mission hatches

_"We were just children having fun with the ghost in the garden."_ \- "Outgrow" by Lewis Watson

Ben lays on the thin mattress that is his bed inside his cell with an arm across his eyes. His head feels as if it’s being hit with a chisel and hammer carving out the monstrosity he witnessed yesterday. He hasn’t slept. He couldn’t. Not when millions of sentient creatures were just murdered as a test for a horrendous mass killing device.

    If he thought Hux had gone too far with destroying the Hosnian system he was resolutely wrong. His mother had told him once of the horror she felt when she watched her whole planet die and she could do absolutely nothing about it. This bio-chemical weapon was worse because death was not an instant release, but a violent struggle. It was drawn out, painful, and panic inducing, and worst of all, you didn’t even see it coming.

    As soon as the troopers had thrown him back into his cell Ben had roared and trashed about the room. There was nothing sufficient for him to destroy. The bed had been bolted to the floor, so all he could do was rage and keep screaming until he felt as if his throat would bleed.

    Swallowing now he wishes there was something he could use to soothe his vocal cords and tonsils. After a period his furor dissolved into wracking sobs. The kind that cause you to cross your arms over your stomach for fear that you’re guts are slipping out. Ben couldn’t help but feel like this was his fault.

If he had just killed Hux like he wanted to as Supreme Leader no one would have to deal with his reign of terror. But even now, Ben knew that if he had, he would have been removed just as soon as the last breath left Hux’s chest.

A cool breeze comes from behind and ruffles Ben’s hair. He groans. “I’m getting real tired of you all visiting, you know? I have bigger drozans to fry.”

“And here I thought my grandson would be happy to see me,” the voice is young and is accentless.

Ben bolts upright and looks to see a figure standing with his back to him, feet apart, and hands clasped behind his back. When he turns his cloak swirls out around his feet. Looking back is a man with a familiar scar on the right side of his face.

 

XXXX

 

It has only been a few hours since Finn, Rey, Luke, Chewie, and BB-8 boarded Kylo Ren’s Upsilon-class shuttle. Poe was able to have a few mechanics do some superficial work to disguise it so that it wouldn’t be so recognizable, and the Resistance spy was able to give the First Order’s coordinates and landing codes. Suspiciously enough, they were orbiting around the planet Utapau, which had been the sight of a large battle during the Clone War and General Grevious’ death.

All five of them now sit in the common area, huddled around a holo-table. “We need a plan for when we land,” Rey says. “This ship only gets us as far as the hanger, but from there we need a way to go through the ship without being recognized or spotted. Our spy reported that Hux has had a chamber renovated for Ben’s execution.  Finn, have any ideas?”

“We could use the air ducts,” he suggests.

She shakes her head, “We need to be able to be more mobile, and to be able to give Ben a sign that we are there.”

“Can’t you just signal him with the Force with your bond?” Finn asks.

“That’s not how it works. We can’t control it.”

Luke sits next to Rey and Chewie wearing his light colored Jedi robes. He has his elbows on his knees and his hands steepled together. “I might have an idea,” he says as he goes to look to Chewie. They exchange a knowing glance.

Chewie gives a deafening, protesting roar. “A trash compactor?” Finn asks.

Luke waves his hand in dismissal. “That was Leia’s idea, but the first part of it still worked. Did it not?” he asks looking at the Wookie. He gives an annoyed nod. “Well, since you don’t like it you can stay on the ship with BB-8 and be the getaway.” Luke rolls his eyes.

“Here’s the plan. When we get there we find a small contingent of troopers who are probably on patrol. We incapacitate them, tie them up, and hide them somewhere. Then we don their uniforms and we hide in plain sight,” Luke finishes.

Finn nods. “Yeah, that could work. I’m not too thrilled about getting back into that uniform, though.”

“You don’t have a choice. This is the best plan we’ve got,” Rey responds. “If that settles it then I’m going to get some sleep.” Finn agrees and follows Rey back to the bunks.

Once they’re gone Chewie turns to Luke and lets out a forlorn grumble. “They don’t need to know what happened to Obi-Wan. As far as they are concerned it’s irrelevant,” Luke says.

Chewie just shakes his head, his fur swaying with the movement.

 

XXXX

 

The figure in front of Ben must be a hallucination brought on by the headache, or maybe they’re gassing his cell, but there is no way that Anakin Skywalker is here. But it looks like him, at least the version of him before his turn, Ben supposes.

He’s dressed in a long brown cloak, black leather vest, a brown tunic and pants tucked into black leather boots. His right hand is gloved while is left is bare. Ben rises. His grandfather stands tall, but still a few inches shorter than Ben. His hair is about the same length as Ben’s and he’s clean-shaven. He doesn’t have the same blue colored field as the rest of the ghosts did. Ben approaches and notices that he has eyes the shade of a stormy sky.

Ben reaches up and touches the scar that bisects Anakin’s right eye. “We have many similarities, you and I,” he responds to the action. “Although my scar is not as bad as yours. Maker, what woman did you anger?” The statement is supposed to make Ben laugh, but he’s still in a daze. “Looks like we didn’t get the same sense of humor, however.”

“Grandfather?” Ben’s voice is a croak. He clears his throat.

“Yes, it’s a shock, but you’ll get used to me.”

“Why are you here?”

“Didn’t your mother tell you that you had people waiting to see you?” Ben gives a wordless nod. “Well, they saved the best for last.”

“But I’ve reached out to you so many times, and you never replied. Why now?”

The man shakes his head and looks to his feet. “You reached out to Darth Vader, not me. Darth Vader died along with his master on the second Death Star.”

“But Darth Vader had reached out to me before. Right before Uncle Luke tried to kill me,” Ben says confusion muddling his face.

“You really still haven’t figured it out have you?” Ben answers him with silence. “I guess not. That wasn’t me. That was Snoke. It was a trick just like he tricked Luke into seeing more darkness than light in you, pushing him to try and kill you. He knew you needed a catalyst or you wouldn’t leave the Praxis.”

Ben unleashes a loud barrage of noise, causing his throat to burn. His fists clench and he throws his right hand into the wall right next to Anakin’s head. The ghost doesn’t flinch. “You mean the past seven years have all been a lie?!” There is a pain in his hand now. He’s definitely broken it.

“They said your rage was notorious, but that was absolutely legendary,” Anakin deadpans.

“Fuck off!” The words are a warning, one Anakin doesn’t take.

“It’s understandable that you would be angry, but there is something good that came out of all of this. That has been there since the very beginning.”

Ben turns to look at him, his gaze burning a liquid gold. “And what was that? That I became powerful? That I became skilled in the Force? That I killed Snoke? Because if those are the good things they don’t outweigh the bad. Snoke’s manipulation caused me to kill my own father!”

“This is when I tell you that your ire is blinding you. Look past all of that, and think. You’re a smart, kid. You take after your grandfather, afterall.”

Ben’s answering sigh is a huff, and it’s like with that puff of air his mind is clear. He turns toward Anakin, the light of realization turning his eyes to that familiar blazing bronze. “Rey?”

His grandfather nods. “Yes. She’s been with you since you were a teenager. That voice you used to hear at night calming the burns of your nightmares, that was Rey. And the voice she used to hear when she was young and afraid and alone was you. You both have been destined from the start to bring this galaxy into a new age.”

“I am so sick and tired of all this talk of destiny and manipulation,” Ben says, refusing to admit out loud that the fact that Rey has been with him all along is the most comforting thought he’s ever had in his life.

“Everything is as the Force wills it,” Anakin responds.

Ben snickers and moves to sit on his bed. “I’m tired of not being in control of my own choices.”

“Well, you have a choice to make now,” Anakin says. “Life or death?”

Ben looks up from where his feet sit flat on the floor and his hands lay on either side of his legs. There are tears in his eyes. Then he notices a sheen across his grandfather’s cheeks and he realizes he’s crying too.

 

XXXX

 

Finn deposits a colorful card from his hand onto the holo-table where Chewie sits across from him. The Wookie looks at the card just laid down, and then back to his hand. BB-8 swivels his head towards Finn’s hand and gives a little whistle. Chewbacca puts down his card making Finn wrinkle his nose in frustration. He then puts down another card, and BB-8 beeps again.

“Wait!” Finn turns to the orbital droid. “Are you telling him my cards?” He then looks over towards Chewie. “You’re cheating!” The Wookie gives a riotous roar and throws his hands up. “No, no man, it’s fine.” Finn says backing up a little in fear. “Let’s just keep playing.”

Across the way Rey is delicately turning the pages of one of the ancient Jedi texts, hazel eyes roving over the diagrams and pictures. “I never thought I’d see those again,” Luke says indicating the book.

“Because I stole them?” Rey asks.

Luke shakes his head. “No, because Yoda burnt the tree.”

Rey’s brows furrow. “What’s a Yoda?”

Luke gives a laugh. “Don’t worry about it. You know I never gave you your last lesson. Would you like it now?” Rey nods. “No matter what you do in this life, Rey, don’t be afraid to fail. Failure is the best teacher there is. Try to always follow your heart. More often than not, it’s telling you the same thing your gut and head are, and if it leads you to failure, well, then your heart, head, and gut know better for next time.”

Rey reaches across and takes the old Jedi’s hand. They are wrinkled but soft. “Thank you, Master Luke.”

Luke gives a sad smile. “It’s just Luke. I have nothing else to teach you. I am no longer your master.”

Rey turns their hand holding into a soft hug, rubbing her hand up and down Luke’s back and worn robe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR AMAZING COMMENTS! Please keep them coming. The reason you're getting this chapter early is because of those comments. As a note, a drozan is a fish. Also, the song for this chapter is Outgrow by Lewis Watson. You readers are great! If you love my story please share it! It would mean a lot to your fan fic author.


	13. Hold On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux catches himself a spy.

_"So much trouble I must leave behind. You can still do well I may remind."_ \- "Hold On" by Sons of the East

Ben presses his back even against the wall against his cell and stares at the door on the opposite wall. Next to him Anakin has a leg stretched out in front of him and the opposite knee drawn to his chest. They’ve sat like this almost the whole night in a complacent silence, neither of them sleeping.

Ben had used the time to think about everything, all the information coming to a head in his mind. When he was first put into this cell he had surrendered himself to his fate, which he assumed was death, but over the course of the past several days something inside of him had changed. It was if those who had come to visit him went forward with the goal of kindling a type of fire within him, each of them adding onto it until it built. His mother had started the spark and his grandfather now added the catalyst, and Ben’s soul was now a huge bonfire ready to engulf everything destructive around him.

And he recognized what that heat was. What it felt like. It was a familiar warmth, one he only felt when a certain beam of sunlight personified in a person was around him. That glow was hope and now it had grown into full blown promise. His execution is tomorrow, and with this new blaze burning through his body, his veins, his very essence, he knows if he wants he could refuse to accept his demise. He knew Rey was coming for him. His beautiful Rey was going to save him, but despite that roaring flame inside him he still wasn’t sure of where to turn.

“No one has ever told me about you as a person,” Ben says shifting his gaze to look at his grandfather. “All I hear is about how you fell to the Dark Side and was redeemed by Uncle Luke. What were you before all that? What were you like as a child?”

The back of Anakin’s head makes a connection with the wall, and he turns it slightly so that his silver blue eyes can meet the calm umber of his grandson’s. “Well, growing up I had no father. My mother claimed that she woke up one day to find herself pregnant. Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan’s master and the Jedi Knight who found me, had a theory that I was a product of the Force - making me the prophesied Chosen One. But once I started serving Darth Sidious, he revealed to me that he manipulated the Force to create life within my mother, therefore making him my father. It doesn’t matter now though, I was what I was.

“I grew up on Tatooine as a slave along with my mother until I was nine. That’s when Qui-Gon came and he freed me, but he couldn’t free my mother. It felt so wrong to leave her. What made it easier was Padme. That was the first time I met her, on Tatooine,” Anakin’s eyes grow foggy with a daydream. “I thought she was an angel at first.” His grandfather doesn’t notice, but Ben blushes scarlet at his statement, realizing he had made the same mistake.

“She was Queen of the Naboo then, but she was hiding. Her planet was the victim of a blockade, and she was on the run to ask the Galactic Senate to aide her. They denied her, and with the help of the Gungans we were able to take her planet back on our own, but Qui-Gon died at the hand of a Sith. So, Obi-Wan took me as his apprentice against the Jedi Council’s wishes.

In some ways I felt that he resented me for being his apprentice, but other times I felt such a deep bond with him. By the time I proved myself in the Jedi Trials he had become more than my master. He was my brother.

Ten years later, Obi-Wan and I were tasked with protecting Naboo’s senator. That’s when Padme walked back into my life, and I couldn’t deny my passion and love for her. She felt the same.

And then my mother died. Turns out her master had sold her and her new master freed and married her. But she was kidnapped by Tusken Raiders who killed her. In retaliation, I killed the whole village. That was the first time I felt the darkness, and it was intoxicating. I had never felt such power.

Then the Clone Wars broke out, and among all of the chaos Padme and I were married in secret on Naboo. A few years later, she was pregnant with your mother and uncle. I can’t remember ever being happier in my life, but I was also so afraid. I did not want to lose any of them, but as you know I was my own downfall.

Then my daughter had a son of her own, and Padme and I have watched over that poor wretch his entire life up until now,” the tone of Anakin’s voice changes from serious to teasing as Ben’s head snaps to look at him.

And then he finds that he can’t help it, and he’s laughing. It’s boisterous and loud, and it doesn’t take long for Anakin to join in. Ben can’t remember the last time he laughed like this.

“A wretch, huh?” he asks his grandfather.

He’s met with another laugh, and a hand almost as large as his own, ruffling his hair before pulling him into a sideways hug.

 

XXXX

 

If anyone had told Hux that the Supreme Leader’s throne wasn’t very comfortable, he might have had a second thought at taking the position. Then again, who would throw away such power over something so menial?

The wiry man shifts in the large black seat, the only piece of furniture in the room. It didn’t take long for the workers to duplicate Snoke’s throne room from the Supremacy. The polished black floors gleam and the red curtain hangs stark and straight. The eight new Praetorian guards stand attentive in their red plastoid uniforms.

Hux leans down and puts an elbow on the chair’s armrest and sets his thin head upon his palm as he hears the clopping of purposeful steps. He sees General Sille approaching, looking smart in her new uniform. Her green eyes peer out from underneath a black peaked cap, which neatly sits upon pristinely coiffed ash blonde hair. She comes to stand in front of Hux, saluting before falling into a more natural stance, feet evenly spread and hands clasped behind her back.

“What do you have to report General?” Hux snivels.

“We have found the Resistance spy,” the voice is smokey as it drifts in the air.

Hux sits back in the chair with a cheshire smile. “Bring them in.”

A woman with fair skin and dirty blonde hair is pulled in by two Stormtroopers. The corner of her thin pink mouth is bloody, and there is a slight cut over her left eyebrow. Her hair is disheveled and coming out of the once sleek bun. Her light blue eyes boil with anger as she looks up towards Hux. “Ah, Sergeant Alexxus Angavel. Why am I not surprised? You were always Ren’s little lapdog. For a moment there I thought you might also be his whore, but alas, his eyes were only for the scavenger.”

The woman struggles against the troopers hold, but she still manages to spit a large glob of blood on the dias in front of her. “Go to hell,” her speech is raw, but it still has a small tone of tinkling melody.

Hux’s smile grows wider, “Take her to the detention block and let Ren watch as she dies a traitor’s death.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” the two troopers say in unified modulated voices before dragging the woman away.

“Good work, General,” Hux says turning his head to look at Sille again. “I also take it that the preparations for tomorrow’s execution are complete?”

“Yes, Supreme Leader. The execution hall’s construction is ready. All we need is the prisoner and the spectators,” she responds.

A set of footsteps fill the room and General Sille turns to look behind her to find six dark looming figures entering the throne room. Their large black capes drift behind them, and their black and chrome helmets reflect and swallow the lights at the same time.

Once the six warriors reach the center of the room they all take a knee. “Ah, the Knights of Ren. How good of you to come. Please stand,” Hux commands.

They do as they’re told, and General Sille’s gaze flickers to the weapons attached to each one of their utility belts. Lightsabers, no doubt. “We are here at your behest, Supreme Leader,” the Knight that stands at the point of the group responds, his voice is garbled as the modulator sifts his voice.

“Very good, Seppo Ren. You are to attend the execution tomorrow. I expect you all to be on high alert. We cannot afford anything to go wrong,” Hux says.

All of those before him nod in agreeance.

 

XXXX

 

    The hiss of the door to Ben’s cell startles him and Anakin out of their companionable silence, and they are greeted with the kneeling form of a beat up and bloodied woman. They scramble to their feet at the sight. “Alexxus?” Ben asks. Then he notices the Stormtroopers on either side of her. “What’s going on?”

A third Stormtrooper walks into view with a blaster rifle in his hands. He points it to the back of Alexxus’ head. She looks up towards Ben with tears spreading across her pale cheeks. “I’m sorry, Ben. They caught me. Rey will be here soon. I’m so so -.” She’s cut off by the sound of blaster fire, and a cauterized blaster hole appears through her right eye. She isn’t crying anymore.

Ben stands in shock and confusion as the cell door is closed again. “Who was that?” his grandfather answers.

Ben swallows through mucus and subsequent tears. “Her name was Alexxus Angavel. She was my personal assistant of sorts when I became Supreme Leader. She was also a spy for the Resistance. I kept her close because I felt I had to help the Resistance as much as I could, so I fed her information when I could.” Anakin only nods. “He hasn’t even been Supreme Leader for a whole week and he’s already reduced the galaxy by 95 million and one. He’s got to be stopped.”

“Are you going to be the one to stop him?” Anakin’s voice is steady.

Ben shakes his head. “I . . . I don’t know.”

“Well,” Anakin begins. “Tonight is the last night before your death. Let’s make the most of it.”

Ben nods through his tears and takes his place again on the floor at the back of his cell. Anakin joins him. Once settled, Ben notices his grandfather shift a little. “I feel it too,” he acknowledges.

“What it is? There is a lot of darkness in the Force here,” he asks.

Ben looks at him. “The Knights of Ren are here.”

“You had your own knights?” Ben nods. “Fancy.”

There is a beat of quiet between them before Ben starts to speak again. “The first time I met Rey we were in the forest of Takodana. She had shot at me with her blaster, and I can still remember the sound of the pure energy ringing out and cutting through the stillness of the trees. As soon as she came into view, though, I found myself curious. Of course, I was only seeing her through the visor of my helmet, but still. She was so lovely, a ball of fear and fury and sweat trapping wisps of hair to her forehead.

She was fast, too, but she was no match for the Force I wielded against her. I remember bringing my lightsaber up just inches from her throat and how the horror and panic just rolled off of her like the wind does to move sand dunes in the desert. She was breathing so heavy that her nostrils flared.

And then I took her, and when her body landed in my arms her weight was comforting in a way that I hadn’t felt in so many years. Things started to come back into my mind from before Snoke. They were memories of my family, of mother and father, Chewie, and my classmates at the Praxium. She unlocked something in me without even having to do anything, but fall into my arms.

I knew then that I didn’t want her to fall into anybody else’s embrace for as long as I was alive. Then when I took my mask off for her, when I saw her with my own eyes, it was like staring into a sun. She was so blinding and bright, and I was at a loss for how something so intensely luminous could exist in this fucked up galaxy. But against all odds she was there.

Then when she came for me after learning the truth of the night I left the Praxium, no one cared enough about me like that. No one risked their own death for just a sliver of a chance that I might turn, and she had been right. Not only because she came for me, but because it was her. If it had been anyone else, I think I would have let Snoke have them. But the moment he lifted her in the air and ravaged her mind like it was a disgusting rape, I knew everything had been leading up to that moment.

The apex of her light and my darkness was that moment. She’s stronger than anyone I’ve ever known, smarter, funnier, and I can’t help but feel like there has never been anything in this galaxy quite like us before. Nothing has existed with this amount of power, and nothing ever will again.”

Anakin puts his gloved hand on his grandson’s shoulder. “I think you get it now,” he says sighing. “I’ve known all along that you knew this was something special, that you were a part of something special. Now just do me a favor.”

“What is that?”

Anakin gives Ben’s shoulder a gentle squeeze, “Don’t make the same mistakes I made.”

The pressure from Ben’s collarbone evaporates, and he looks over to see that Anakin is gone.

Ben closes his eyes, and tilts his head back to make contact with the wall as he brings a leg up, so his arm can rest upon his knee.

“Who was that you were talking to?” the lilted voice sweeps inside and caresses his ear.

He gives a signature small smile, only lifting the faintest corners of his mouth. “My grandfather,” he says. Then his eyes snap wide open and he looks towards Rey who has a matching smile. “How long have you been here?”

“Long enough,” she says. “Stronger, smarter, and funnier, huh?”

Ben’s face turns the deepest crimson as he brings his hands to cover his face. “Oh, Maker. I’m never going to hear the end of this am I?”

“Not even a little bit,” her soft laugh makes his soul feel lighter, but it quickly turns into a deep frown. “Alexxus is dead.”

“Yes.”

“Fucking hell! How many more people have to die in the war?” she asks him.

He stands up and goes to sit on the side of his bed. “Hopefully no more. Will you come lay with me?”

She nods and makes her way over. Ben’s back pressed against the cold wall, and Rey snuggles herself in his large arms facing him. The bed is comically small for the both of them, and Rey has to consciously try to not fall off the edge.

She can feel Ben’s hot breath on her forehead, and he leans forward and kisses her hairline. “So, your grandfather, huh? The big, bad Anakin Skywalker.”

Ben hums. “Yes.”

“Was that a good or a bad conversation?” she asks

He looks down at her. “It was a balance.”

She moves so that her head rests under his chin. She feels him inhale deeply, taking in her scent of space and rain. Soon thereafter their breaths even out as sleep takes them under.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR COMMENTS. Please please please keep them coming, and I'll tell you why. I was not planning on doing anymore with the Resistance spy, but Weatherbug02 said in their comment that they wanted to know who the spy was, so I decided to incorporate that. BTW the spy is based off of me. Lol. 
> 
> This chapter's song is Hold On by Sons of the East. I think once I'm done with the story I might post a YouTube playlist with all the songs, plus some bonus tracks, so you guys can check them out. 
> 
> I will hopefully update again before the weekend is over. Also, chapter 14 will signal the end of Act Two. From there we will only have 7 more chapters to go! I'm so excited. 
> 
> REMEMBER COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT AND SHARE SHARE SHARE!


	14. Wolves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry in advance. 
> 
> Please comment! I always love hearing your theories and what is working for you and what isn't. So please let me know.
> 
> The song for this chapter is Wolves by Down Like Silver. I'll have another update for you all by Tuesday!
> 
> Also, remember you can find me on Tumblr at meowloren!

_ “When I die, let the wolves enjoy my bones.”  _ \- “Wolves” by Down Like Silver

 

Rey has just finished wrapping plum colored cloth around her arms and fitting silver short vambraces over her wrists when she feels the Upsilon-class shuttle bulk under her feet. She picks up her saberstaff from atop her bunk and clips it to the right side of her utility belt. She then pats her left hip in the hopes that she’s not forgetting anything.

She gives a heavy sigh. “Hey,” a voice behind her says. She turns to see Finn, blaster strapped to his right hip and another strapped to his thigh on the opposite side. He’s leaning into the door of the sleeping quarters wearing black pants tucked into black leather boots, a cream colored shirt opened to his dark chest, and Poe’s leather jacket. “You ready?” She nods in response.

It seems that’s not a good enough reply because he moves to fully step into the space gazing directly into Rey’s gold-flecked green eyes. “Don’t worry. We’re going to get your boy,” he says extending his arm to squeeze Rey’s shoulder. 

“You two ready?” the gruff tone of Luke’s voice breaks into the space around them. They turn to look at him.

“We don’t really have a choice, do we?” Rey asks. The two men shake their heads. “Then let’s go.” She steeles her shoulders with an air of courage before walking to the loading ramp. 

Chewie is there waiting for them and he lets out a pointed growl. Rey nods to him and he engages the ramp. It lowers slowly with a wheeze, steam releasing from the pressurized mechanics.

Rey takes the first step down in hesitance, waiting for the inevitable blaster fire, but when it doesn’t come she turns back to look at her companions confusion scrunching her face. She makes it all the way out to the hanger, the massive space bringing back memories of her own escape. Large grey shuttles are docked in almost every station, but there is nobody to be found. 

“Where are they?” Finn asks. 

Rey closes her eyes, feeling the humming of the Force around her. Her eyes snap open and lock with Luke’s. “They seem to be located at the very rear of the ship. My guess is that’s where they’re holding the execution. I hope we’re not too late,” she answers.

Just then they hear voices. They’re coming from one of the entrances a few doors down, and they are heavily modulated. Finn looks over to see two Stormtroopers sitting on packing crates, bodies hunched over, gazes focused on the floor. There’s a small crackle as something hits the space between them. “So, that’s our welcoming party? Two troopers playing dice when they’re supposed to be on watch?” Finn asks.

Luke chuckles. “They probably thought that people would be crazy to attempt anything while most of the First Order big wigs were here.”

“Boy, is Hux going to be kicking himself for this,” Finn responds with a wide, white smile, mischief creeping into the corners of his eyes.

Rey squares her shoulders and walks over to the gambling troopers. She’s looming over them when she clears her throat. They look up at her. “Hello, lads,” she starts a sweet smile schooling her features. The men start to stand, but with a flick of Rey’s slim wrist they both fall unconscious at her feet.

Finn and Luke walk over. Finn gawks at the supine troopers, “I did not know that was how the Force works!”

Rey sees Luke roll his dusty blue eyes behind the ex-trooper’s form before she moves to strip the armor from their persons. 

 

XXXX

 

The whisper of the cell door opening wakes Ben from his restful sleep. Rey is gone, but then again, he knew she would be. Two troopers walk into Ben’s space and pull his hands in front of him. They secure him with restraints. 

As they lead him out of his cell and down the halls of the detention block, Ben begins to think about the past seven days of his imprisonment. It has been a surreal and sublime experience. People he never thought he’d ever meet in his lifetime actively sought him out, to talk to him, to try and convince him that he was deserving of something more than death.

The last thing his grandfather said to him still echoes in his mind.  _ Don’t make the same mistakes I did _ . Anakin Skywalker had something truly worth having, a woman who loved him, a mother to his children, but he threw that away for power. Ben didn’t want power, he just wanted to feel like he was even remotely deserving of such love, such respect. Both of which Rey had showed him in abundance.

Maybe she only did so because she loved him, or maybe she found him to be her equal in every way, or maybe those were just his thoughts projected on her. There was no denying how Ben felt about her. He had stopped picturing her as his enemy as soon as she gave him that scar on Starkiller. He had embraced it as soon as their hands touched inside that hutt during the Force bond. She was deserving of the whole galaxy and he had been wanting to give it to her, but he had only been able to give her, her freedom. If he chose to survive this, there was still the possibility of giving Rey the galaxy, but in a different way.

While lost in his thoughts Ben did not pay attention to where his escort was leading him, but now that he was paying attention he realized they were not taking him to the hanger bay where Rey’s execution was held. Instead, they were leading him towards the rear of the ship, their footsteps echoing in the empty, narrow hallway.

Soon he is led through open blaster doors into a large wide space. He’s met with the sight of Stormtroopers, standing ramrod straight in orderly row upon row upon row, all facing a black stage. They stretch from wall to wall, and there seems like there is no free space around them. His eyes are then drawn to the very back corner of the large space and he is met with the six leering stares of the Knights of Ren. 

Walking down an aisle of troopers, Ben notices how starkly silent it is. He doesn’t even hear a breath expelled from any mouth, nor a cough or even the bat of an eye underneath a plastoid helmet. As they get closer to the stage Ben notices a shock of red, and he takes in the somber, disciplined stance of the new Praetorian guard directly behind the stage. 

Hux is standing on the black mass just off center with Sille beside him. A sneering grin smatters his face, looking absolutely pleased. Ben meets his bright sapphire stare as he’s being led to the execution block. Then he is forced to kneel. 

Hux walks forward and his crystal clear voice breaks the unnerving silence. “Good soldiers of the First Order, we are brought here today to deal out justice,” his tone is clipped, concentrated as it bounces off the durasteel walls.

“We had a traitor in our midst, and he has finally been moused. Ben Solo, once Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, of this great Order has betrayed us. Not only did he allow that scavenger scum to escape, but he is also guilty of killing our most beloved former Supreme Leader Snoke.” If Hux was expecting anyone to gasp at this realization he would have been sorely disappointed.

“Ben Solo has been found guilty of murder, treason of the highest degree, corruption, and impeding a First Order sanctioned execution,” Hux’s voice strains and cracks toward the end as his volume rises. Ben imagines that if he could have, Hux would also add pissing in Hux’s breakfast as a crime as well. 

Ben gives a very small, unnoticeable smile at his thought, and that’s when he feels it. It’s a familiar current of energy and it’s flowing from the open blaster doors. His gaze flicks over to the entrance, and he notices two Stormtroopers blustering in like they’re late to the party. It’s only when he looks closer that he realizes only one of them is carrying their blaster rifle. 

His eyes immediately roves over to the one closest the door. They are empty handed, or he assumes so as they have their hands behind their back. It’s a subtle movement, but Ben recognizes it right away. The trooper moves their hand to their hip, and gives it three distinct pats.

“. . . is sentenced to death,” Hux’s voice comes to a stop and Ben looks over to see that Sille has handed him a large vibrosword. The pale man begins to make his way towards Ben, and he hasn’t even taken the fourth step when there is a distinct sound of an rifle blast going off. 

Ben’s head swings to land on the troopers near the door. There is a smoking hole through the trooper standing in front of them, and they are both looking down at him. Then one of them sharply raises their head and says, “Oops. My bad.”

It’s then that Ben realizes that he has always known what decision he would make when this moment came. No matter how much he worried over whether or not he earned Rey and her love, or that he got a second chance at life he always knew he would choose survival.  _ Don’t make the same mistakes I did. _ Sure, his grandfather had survived, but as Darth Vader he only ever existed. He never thrived. Ben Solo wanted to thrive and he knew the only person who ever truly made him feel alive. 

Ben takes that as his cue, and outstretches his hand towards the invaders. An oblong object comes flying towards his open palm, and it smacks against his skin when it connects. He notices the crossguard immediately, and he flicks the button on the hilt. The weapon ignites in a vibrant, jagged purple with the same biting noise of his previous saber. Then all hell breaks loose.  

He uses one of the crossguards to nick his restraints and he is free. Immediately he moves his free hand to push Hux and Sille into the into the advancing Praetorian guard so hard that he hears bodies knock together with a pop of wild, flailing limbs and joints. Then he is moving. Using the Force he does a high front flip off the stage into the sea of panicking stream of white. He’s able to shoulder he way through the confusion, taking a few troopers with him by way of elegant swings and strikes, on his way towards the blaster doors.

Once there he takes the hand extended to him from the rogue trooper noticing their other hand is holding a yellow double bladed lightsaber. They pull each other through the doors, the other trooper covering their backs. As soon as he’s through the doors are thrust closed with a bang of finality. 

Ben looks over, and he sees a ghost. Luke throws off his grey hood, and takes in his nephew from head to toe. “Hello, nefarious nephew,” the old man quips in greeting.

Behind him plastoid is hitting the floor. Turning he sees a dark man panting hard. “Solo,” he says.

“FN?” Ben questions. Finn starts to open his mouth in what is sure an adamant protest about the name when there is a hand on his arm pulling at him. 

That’s when she comes into his line of vision. She’s halfway out of the Stormtrooper uniform and he notices she is dressed in hues of grey and purple. The lights overhead frame the top of her head like a halo. His lips immediately finds her’s and his rough hands hold her face where her neck meets her jaw. He pulls away, a small smile forming on his lips. “I told you I’d come for you,” Rey says her distinct lilt like music to his ears now that he isn’t hearing it through the bond.

She and Finn quickly discard the stuffy uniforms and Luke turns to them. “I’ve jammed the blaster doors, but it seems to me we have more company than just troopers,” he says eyes wide.

Ben turns to look at Rey, “The Knights. They’re all here.”

“Fuck,” Finn curses. “We were not expecting to contend with that.”

“We’ve got to move, now,” Rey’s speech is final and they begin down the hall as the intruder alert starts to sound.

The only personnel they meet on the way to the hanger bay is minimal light infantry, and they are easily dealt with. At one point Ben, Rey, and Luke have all engaged their lightsabers, leading Finn to complain about how left out he feels. 

They’re almost to the hanger when they are cut off by a looming figure in black. All four of them stop. “Kylo Ren,” the form starts through his mask, voice icily modulated. “Or is it Ben Solo now. I get so confused. It’s hard to keep all your personalities in check.” 

“Seppo Ren,” Ben’s tone is dark and annoyed. 

Seppo reaches over to his hip and calmly pulls a lightsaber off his belt. He ignites it and a single, smooth blood red blade emerges from the hilt. 

“You three go. I will hold him off,” Luke says.

Both Rey and Ben shake their heads. “No,” Rey says. “We can take him.”

Luke gives her a cheeky smile, “Rey, it’s not anything that I haven’t dealt with before.”

“He’s going to do it no matter what we do,” Ben says.

Just then Seppo Ren alights with a loud, guttural roar and charges the quartet. Luke’s blade is up in a flash, keeping Seppo from severing Finn in two, head to pubis. “Go!” It’s an order, and all three of them follow it.

They run, but the noise of combat is still behind them. Rey glances back every few seconds to see that Luke is following them every so often stopping to hold off Seppo. They reach the hanger and head for the Upsilon-class shuttle. “Chewie!” Rey screams.

Suddenly, the shuttle is teaming with life. The loading ramp is steaming, and a distinct beep sounds from the entrance. They reach the end of the ramp, and Finn hurries inside, BB-8 following after him. Rey and Ben watch as Luke flees towards them.

He’s halfway towards the shuttle when he stops. Seppo has entered the hanger and is only a few yards away from Luke. His dark figure stalks the Jedi like a predator stalks prey. Luke looks to Rey and Ben and closes the gap between them in a few strides. “You two need to go. If I stay I can occupy them long enough for the ship to get away,” he says his gaze switching between the tall form of his nephew and that of his former apprentice.

“What are you talking about?” Ben starts. “Uncle, we need to go now!”

Luke smiles, “I have been waiting a very long time to hear you call me that again. Ben, I failed you once. I won’t do it again. Now go! I will hold them off so you can escape.”

“No!” Rey screams.

Ben shakes his head, his throat has become thick. “Are you insane? You’ll die.” The cadence of their speech is quick.

“Chewie!” Luke yells. The shuttle lifts a few feet off the floor and starts to make its way towards the hanger bay opening. Luke smiles up at the two of them as Seppo closes the distance behind him. “No, not really. See you around, kids.”

As Luke turns to face the stalking figure he holds his blue lightsaber up in front of his face, and disengages it. The last thing Rey and Ben see before being pulled up the ramp by Finn is Seppo Ren’s vermillion saber making a wide arc through Luke’s form, and Luke’s sea gray robes falling to the ink black floor.


	15. All We Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben get back to the Resistance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are everyone. Thank you so much for the comments and kudos. I love them! The song for this chapter is "All We Are" by OneRepublic.

_ “You’re an island and my ship has run aground.” _ \- “All We Are” by OneRepublic

 

Rey, Ben, Finn, Chewie, and BB-8 sit silently in the belly of the Upsilon-class shuttle. None of them look at the others. The ship is hurtling at hyperspeed towards the Resistance base on Boz Pity thanks to the Wookie. Rey looks over to Ben and sees the pale tracks his tears have left behind creating negative space through the dirt and grime on his cheeks. 

She leans over and puts her hand on Ben’s. He still dressed in the same white prison uniform that Rey remembers with disdain. “His passing was purposeful. He allowed us to get away. His death won’t be in vain.”

Ben’s liquid hickory eyes are rimmed with red as he looks over to Rey. “I just can’t believe he’s gone. I just can’t believe, after not seeing him for so long, that I’m never going to see him again. I still have so many questions.”

Rey nods in understanding, but her head slowly turns at the sound of Finn’s worrying. “What will we do now? We’ve lost both Skywalkers. How will we ever defeat the First Order now?”

BB-8 beeps in agreement, but Rey turns back towards Ben’s hulking frame. “Luke wasn’t the last Skywalker,” she says, hope lacing through her statement. Ben gives her a resolute nod. 

No, Luke was not the last of the Skywalker dynasty, and Ben would be damned if he let his family’s story end here.

Ben looks up towards his uncle in all but name, and when his eyes meet with Chewbacca’s surprisingly clear blue gaze the Wookie gives a gruff harumph and makes his way towards to the cockpit. Ben knows that there is a bridge there that needs repairing, but it will have to wait until later.

“Right. So, if we’re going to continue on there is something I have to tell you,” he says to both Finn and Rey. “Hux has a new weapon capable of causing the death of billions.”

“Another Starkiller?” Finn asks.

Ben shakes his head and puts an elbow on one knee and a hand on the other, face puzzled in concentration. “No, it’s called Green Weapon Ion. It’s a bio-chemical weapon and it’s dispersed through air canisters that are dropped onto planets like bombs. When a living being inhales the gas released from the canisters they suffocate and die. He was able to wipe out the whole population of Utapau in an hour, maybe less. His next target is Coruscant,” he explains.

As the words spill from Ben’s lips Rey and Finn’s stares grow larger until their eyes are as round as moons. “He’s insane,” comes Finn’s reply.

“As soon as we get to the base we have to tell Poe,” Rey says. Ben nods. “Until then we can’t do much. Ben, you might want to go get changed and clean up. There is a set of clothes in your personal chamber.”

Ben sighs and stands placing a hand on Rey’s shoulder and squeezing before he walks towards the back of the ship. 

He presses the button for the gray durasteel door to slide open and he has to duck a little to enter the room. There laid out on the bed are black pants, black leather boots, a utility belt, a navy blue shirt with buttons that end at the top of his chest and the sleeves rolled up. The last piece of clothing is a black leather jacket. He places his lightsaber next to the pieces of cloth, and runs his hand over the outerwear. The leather is smooth and supple and outfitted with a few pockets. For some reason it looks familiar.

“It was your dad’s,” Rey says from the doorway, her lilt fluttering across the space between them. “I found it in Leia’s old stuff. Poe told me that she would wear it sometimes when she missed him, and I thought it might make up for the lack of billowing cloak. Unfortunately, the Resistance is running a little low on dramatic clothing.” Ben looks over to her as Rey steps into the room. With a flick of her slim wrist the door closes behind her. “It seems your father favored black almost as much as you do, and I know the shirt isn’t black, but I thought I’d wean you into wearing colors.”

Ben’s mouth twitches with a slight smile. “How are we supposed to be Jedi without cloaks?” He walks over to the small basin sitting on the top of the built in dresser. 

Rey sighs, “Is that what you want? To be a Jedi?”

“You and I were meant for each other, Rey, and we were meant to bring balance to the galaxy. How else are we to do that if we aren’t Jedi and if we don’t create a new order?” He splashes the water over his face and he feels some of the droplets drip from the end of his long locks and the facial hair that’s grown since his incarceration.

“I suppose I’ll have to wait until we get to the base to have a proper shower, and I can finally have a trim and shave this damn scruff,” he says rubbing his hand over his chin. 

“No.” He looks over to Rey who has taken a seat at the end of the bed. “I like your hair longer.”

“And the facial hair?” Rey notices something dark and feral flash over Ben’s eyes, but it’s gone when she tries to look deeper.

He brings her hand to cover the smile forming across her mouth. “It makes you look older.”

Ben lets out a loud guffaw. “Duly noted,” he replies. “But I’ll keep my hair the same. Just for you, but that just means you’ll have to do whatever you do to it to keep it from my eyes.”

Rey nods in agreement. Ben walks over to the clothes on the bed. He reaches behind to shuck off his shirt and throws it to the floor. Rey’s gaze drifts over his chest down to his stomach following the trail of dark hair that disappears under the waistband of his prison pants. 

Ben notices her watching and that same primal feeling comes over him. “Oh, fuck it!” he says, and then he’s on her. 

He takes her hand and yanks it up then uses the other to spin her about by the waist. She leans up against him back to chest and Rey can feel his erection pressing into her. She gasps at the contact. “I’ve missed you,” she says to Ben.

Ben places a kiss on her neck and then on her shoulder right where he bit her, the scar partially covered by her shirt. “I feel like an animal. I need you,” comes his response.

He feels the shift in Rey’s body, like it’s given a huge release. His hands move down to her belt and unwraps it from her small waist. “You are a monster,” she replies and he answers her with an appropriate snarl. Before tossing it to the floor he throws her saber on the bed next to his, landing with a soft thump. The belt, however, lands on the floor with a loud thwack. 

Next Ben’s right hand is at the band of her pants and his left arm is curled around her middle. Rey’s drapey linen covers Ben’s arm. His callused hand makes contact with her smooth stomach and she whimpers. “Ben,” she says.

“Yes?” he asks back.

Rey raises her hands up until they’re tangled in his long, still damp strands. The pad of her fingers are pressing deliciously into his scalp. “If you need me, take me,” she challenges, and Ben can slightly make out a devilish grin spreading across her lips.

Accepting her command, Ben plunges his hand below the band of her pants and he’s immediately met with wetness. His middle finger finds her clit hiding beneath her hood and his body trembles at the bud’s slick smoothness. But he’s got to keep it together because his actions have caused Rey’s knees to buckle slightly, and his arm is the only thing keeping her upright. 

His leans down and his teeth graze her neck, and Rey can’t help but feel like she’s prey about to be devoured by an apex predator. Ben is still reeling from the adrenaline of battle, and he would give anything to let that darkness wash over the both of them.

As if she read his mind Rey says, “Lose control, Ben.”

And before she can calculate his next move Ben has thrown her across the bed, ass up. She looks behind her and she sees Ben pulling his pants down so that his erection frees forth from its prison. The movement is so fierce that Rey almost begins to second guess the order she gave, but only almost. 

Next Ben leans down and grabs Rey’s pants at her hips, bunching the fabric and pulling them down her lean legs. They come clean off along with her boots. He moves then to her tunic. Rey sits up on her knees allowing him to pull it right over her head. Now she is only clothed in her purple vambraces and arm wraps.

With a rough shove that causes liquid to rush to Rey’s sex, Ben pushes her back down onto the bed. His hands move from her shoulders down to her hips and he pulls them up. “You like when I’m a monster,” it’s not a question, but nonetheless Rey whimpers and nods.

Ben growls and his erection presses against the dripping mess that is Rey. He pulls back from her and Rey’s brows furrow in confusion at the loss of contact, and just as she’s about to ask she feels something hard and thick and velvety slam into her as it’s glossed by her wetness. 

She lets out a moan that Ben follows with his own. “Maker, I missed you,” he says. 

Rey smiles and looks back over her shoulder, “I like this side of you.”

“Do you want more?” Ben asks with dark lust and hazy possessiveness in his eyes. Rey bites her bottom lip and nods.

Ben pulls almost all the way out of Rey and then slams back inside her. She feels his balls make a light slap against her clit and her eyes roll back in her head. “Don’t stop,” she commands him.

So Ben rinses and repeats, pounding into Rey with a distinct whack each time. Once Rey figures out his rhythm she begins to meet him with each thrust. After a few moments of this Ben moves his foot so that it’s propped up on the bed and he reaches around Rey pulling her so that her back is flush with his chest. 

He peppers kisses on her shoulders, dancing over her silk-spun skin, and his hands move up to her breasts to tease, pinch, and flick the sensitive buds there. He’s still rutting into her with fervor, and with every thrust she clenches around him and he can feel his skin start to tighten over his muscles and bones. 

His right hand snakes down to between her legs and starts rubbing her clit in time to his hips, and it’s like someone turned on a heater. He feels Rey’s skin alight with fire all at once, and he knows she’s close. 

Rey braces herself using Ben’s thigh, and a flood rushes from deep within her, breaking the dam dripping over Ben’s cock. And when the liquid coats itself over him Ben empties inside Rey, feeling the tip of him twitch against her walls. 

They are a panting mess of sweat and desire, the smell of lust and carnality drifting in the air around them. Rey smiles and lets out a sigh, “You’ll always be my monster.”

Ben gives a dark chuckle at that, still under the spell of his primal needs. He slips from inside her, a bit of him and her dripping onto the floor. She turns around on her knees and puts her hands on either side of Ben’s chest. Her left hand skates up so that she’s twirling her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. “You should lose control more often.” There’s a wild look in her eyes.

Ben smiles and places a chaste kiss on her lips, dry from the panting she did before. “Who knew a delicate thing like you likes it a little bit rough,” he replies.

“Delicate?” she asks. “Maybe next time I’ll show you who’s delicate.”

“Is that a promise?” his deep timbre asks next to her ear. 

She releases a breathy, “Absolutely.”

 

XXXX

 

A pale white fist slams down on the armrest of the throne, and Hux is fuming. He looks out at the six figures kneeling in front of him. “Useless!” he yells. “Absolutely useless! How could you let that traitor and his little scavenger girlfriend get away?” His volume rises with each word. No one answers him. “I want an explanation!” his shrieking continues.

One of the masked figures rises without permission and speaks, “I was able to eliminate Luke Skywalker.”

Hux hisses like a loth cat. “Luke Skywalker?!” He stands up from his chair in a flash. “That does not matter. The Resistance now has Ben Solo and Rey, the two of the most powerful Jedi to ever exist in the galaxy. Do you think former Supreme Leader Snoke would have stressed that to me if it didn’t mean anything?” Again his question is met with quiet. “Go prepare yourselves. Ren was one of you once. I want you to find him, and when you do, I want you to take care of him and his girlfriend. You’re dismissed.”

The identical six forms rise and leave the throne room. Hux sits back down in his seat. He turns his head to the right and out of the corner of his eye he sees General Sille. “General,” he summons her. 

“Yes, Supreme Leader?” 

“Gather the other generals. We’ve planning to do.”

She gives a brisk nod and bow and leaves the room.

 

XXXX

 

Ben looks out over the faces that stare back at him. He feels so out of place among them. He’s standing in the Boz Pity base control room with Rey, Rose, Poe, Finn and Chewie situated around a large holo-table. He’s wearing the clothes Rey brought for him, and they feel surprisingly comfortable. 

Ben’s just finished debriefing them to the new threat that Hux poses for the Resistance, and worry creases Poe’s brow. “Let’s take two hours, so that you all have time to clean up, and then we’ll meet back up again to discuss what we should do,” Poe says.

Everyone nods and files out of the room. Ben leans down to whisper to Rey, “I’ll catch up with you in a moment.”

She nods and follows everyone out. 

Ben comes to stand next to Poe. “I just wanted to say thank you. You know, for believing me, trusting me. You didn’t have to, but you did,” he says.

Poe nods, “Rey trusts you. At first, I didn’t believe her when she told me you helped her escape, and even though Finn believed her unquestioningly, I still couldn’t stop picturing you the way you were the last time I saw you.” 

Images of a dark room and Poe’s pained face flash across Ben’s vision. “The interrogation,” he states.

“Yeah, and as pleasant a memory as that is I couldn’t reconcile Kylo Ren with Ben Solo. If Leia were here she would have scolded me for giving up hope, especially if it came to you. Her hope of your return was more stubborn than a rathtar’s hunger. But I had my doubts. It wasn’t until the report confirming Rey’s escape that I knew I had to let her plan a rescue. If I hadn’t she would’ve gone off by herself, and if I let that happen Leia’s ghost would’ve never let me rest,” Poe responds.

Ben sighs, “My mother and her hope and scolding and . . . everything.” 

Poe gives a sad smile, “Definitely explains why you left for the First Order.” 

Ben barks a laugh at that. “Yeah, that was the reason.”

Poe claps a hand on Ben’s back. “It’s good to you have back, Ben.”

“It’s good to be back.”

 

XXXX

 

Two hours later and the control room is much more crowded than before. Ben and Rey both were able to shower and grab something to eat and Ben was able to shave before this meeting, if you could call it that. 

Normally meetings are productive, but this one is the complete opposite. No one can agree on a course of action against the First Order, whether it’s to strike hard and fast or to wait for them to come here. 

At the bickering Ben feels as if he’s traded one bureaucracy for another. Finally, Poe calls and end of the meeting, stating that they should wait on some intelligence before they make a solid decision. 

At that everyone disperses, and all Ben wants is some solid sleep.

 

XXXX

 

The next day after breakfast Ben makes his way to the training room to find that someone is already there. He watches the dark man as he twirls the staff making points of contact with his invisible foe. His movements are swift, but still hold a bit of hesitation.

Finn brings the staff around in a wide swing and he catches sight of Ben standing in the doorway to the training room. He stops, his chest heaving and nods to him. “You’re pretty good with the staff,” Ben states approaching Finn.

Finn shrugs, “Yeah, well, I already know how to shoot a blaster, so I needed something different.” He looks down to the staff in his hand.

They stand in silence for a few seconds until Ben decides that now is as good as time as any. “Listen Finn, I’m sorry about almost killing you on Starkiller,” he says sincerity lacing his tone.

“I forgive you,” Finn replies without hesitation. He sees the surprise on Ben’s face. He definitely had more to his apology than that. “Rey, told me all about her time as the First Order’s prisoner.”

Ben’s face fills with red embarrassment, “Um, all about it?”

“Well, the important parts, anyway. She explained what things were like for you, and having been taken from my parents at a young age and being brainwashed into a murderous cult . . . well, I can relate.” The man gives another shrug.

“I still wanted to apologize and to thank you for being such a good friend to Rey,” Ben says.

“Rey was my first real friend. You don’t take people like her lightly.” 

“No, you don’t,” Ben says with a smile. “Well, I’ll just leave you to train. I’ll see you around.”

“Huh,” Finn lets out.

Ben turns around from where he was headed to the door, “What?”

“Before you called me Finn not FN.”

“Well, it was a formal apology. Don’t get used to it.”

“Why do you do it, anyway? Call me FN.”

“To build friendly rapport. For if we’re ever friends one day.”

Finn smiles, “You know, I’d like that. You can never have too many Jedi friends.”

Ben laughs. “Yeah, I’d like that too.” 

He starts to make his way again towards the exit, but stops when he hears Finn behind him, “Hey, BN. You want to stay? I could use a partner.”

Ben’s smile grows wider as he rounds on his new friend. “Yeah, sure.”

 

XXXX

 

As Rey gets closer to the training room she starts to hear two familiar voices made unfamiliar by the fact that she’s never really heard them together. She peers around the corner of the door to see Finn in a fighting stance with a staff in his hand. 

The other figure is Ben, wearing a white tank top and black pants with his hair in the half ponytail she did for him that morning. He’s adjusting Finn’s grip on the staff and instructing him as to where he wants his strike to land. Finn goes to make the move, the end of his staff coming to stop just short of Ben’s solar plexus. 

Rey smiles to herself and starts to make her way to the work room to meet Rose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all liked this chapter. We are officially on the third act of the story. So please comment, comment, comment!


	16. Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some surprises arise on base

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments. They infinitely please me whenever I get one!
> 
> This chapter's song is Bother by Matt Corby

_ “Somebody call out your brother. He’s calling out your name.”  _ \- “Brother” by Matt Corby

 

“That’s good, Finn. And see if you keep your feet in this position you have more balance in case your enemy decides to take advantage of one of your sides,” Rey points out to the ex-trooper as he practices parrying low with one end of the staff followed by striking with a high arc with the opposite end of the staff. “I definitely think you’re getting the hang of it.”

“Keep this up, FN, and you can move on to a different weapon. You know, like a sword,” Ben says from behind Rey as he sits on the floor observing.

Finn gives both Jedi a bright straight smile at their praise. “Like a vibroblade?” he asks.

Ben gets up from where he’s sitting and goes to stand next to Rey, “Why not a lightsaber?”

Finn’s eyes grow wide with horror. “No! I never touching one of those things again.” Rey and Ben just laugh, but they don’t blame him given his last experience with a saber. 

“Let’s try a different move this time,” Rey says. She turns to look up to Ben. “You mind helping me, Ben?”

He shakes his head and unclips his lightsaber from where it’s perched on his belt. He twirls it in his hand before igniting it. Rey walks a few feet away from him and her weapon flares to life. “This is for when your enemy gets you in a tight spot, and you’re not able to move your weapon to give a beneficial or accurate strike,” Rey says. She nods to Ben.

With a few lunges and parries they’re on top of each other matching the other strike for strike, until Ben has Rey’s right arm - holding her lightsaber - pinned between his arm and his chest. “You see FN, Rey’s left hand is free while her right hand is holding her weapon. She can’t really move her saber effectively from this position,” Ben explains. Finn nods towards the couple, eyes dissecting their positions.

“So, what you’d do is let your staff drop from your right hand to your left,” Rey says. She opens her right hand while simultaneously bringing her left underneath. She catches the blade in her palm. “From here I can do any number of strikes. I can swipe across the body. I can take out the legs, or you can go for the stomach using the blunt end of the staff.” Rey demonstrates each of these movements, careful as to not actually hit Ben with her saber. 

“That is sick!” Finn replies.

As if in response to Finn’s opinion a tight squeal erupts from the doorway to the training room. All three heads turn just in time to make out a short pink figure before they come barreling straight for them.

“Finn!” the voice stretches the name out like it’s a rubber band, elongating it with the distance they have to run in order to reach them.

Finn stoops down and stretches out his arms just in time to catch the hurtling person. “Jezzuu, my darling,” he says once his arms have enclosed around the creature. He then stands up and faces Rey and Ben. “Rey, Ben, this is Jezzuu Teranii.” He presents what Ben now recognizes to be a small Twi’lek girl. 

She has light pink skin with lilac markings on her head tentacles. She is small, he estimates maybe six or seven years old in age, and she stares at them with wide bright forest green eyes. “Hello, little one,” Rey says with a slight wave and she waves back.

Ben gives the girl a small smile illuminated by the purple glow of his still active lightsaber. Jezzuu glances down between Finn and Ben investigating the source of the luminescent flare. “I like your sword,” she says when she looks back up to Ben. Before Ben can get out a response the little girl is talking again. “I always wanted to learn how to fight with a sword.”

Ben gives an involuntary chuckle realizing that he is charmed by this small creature. “Thank you,” he says to her. He keeps staring at those green eyes, feeling a certain type of power emanating from them. “How about this? I promise to make you a practice one and I’ll teach you how to use it.”

Ben isn’t sure how, but Jezzuu’s eyes grow wider. “Really?” she questions. Ben nods. “Oh, that would be great!”

Rey turns to Finn while Jezzuu and Ben keep conversing. “Where did she come from?”

“She’s part of the refugee population here on the base. We put out a message a few months back to the other Resistance bases telling them to direct any refugees to come here. They’re shuttled in about once every month now. They’re the people that the First Order leaves in their wake,” his tone is disdainful and sad.

“How many are there?” she asks.

“As of right now, several thousand. They reside in small makeshift villages in the forest behind the base,” he says. Rey only nods her head. Finn pulls Jezzuu’s attention back to him. “What do you say we go get something to eat?” he asks her.

She gives an eager nod of her small head, tentacles bouncing off her shoulders. “Yum!”

Finn can only smile as he tells his friends farewell and walks towards the door.

Rey turns to Ben, “Did you -”

“Yes,” he interrupts her. “She is acutely Force sensitive.”

“Do you think there are more?”

“I do,” he says.

 

XXXX

 

There are three different types of terrain on Boz Pity, Rey has realized, and any of them can be interrupted by small ponds or large blue lakes. The first are flat plains, covered in grass that move and whisper when the wind runs between their blades. The second are rocky plains with gray shale stone half emerged from the planet’s crust and partially covered in moss. The last are dense thick forests with a multitude of shades of green and brown, which reminds Rey of Takodana. It are the plains and the forests that surround the Resistance base, one in front and the other behind respectively.

It’s in the forest that Rey finds herself with Ben while on patrol. She’s not sure she will ever get used to the color green. As a child she used to find it reflected in the scant flecks of her eyes whenever she polished a piece of machinery until it shined, but she never knew it existed outside of that. 

Today she wears her normal attire, but with a hint of deep maroon in the form of her tunic and arm wraps. She looks over to where Ben is traipsing next to her and notices that he’s decided on a green half-button shirt, rolled up to his elbows. The color is that of the trees and leaves around them, and at some points she finds herself giggling when the top half of him goes missing. 

The forest is quiet except for the constant noise of indigenous animal life in the form of birds, reptiles, and insects, all of them at which Rey stops to look at, mesmerized by the different in appearance from one to the other. She also stops whenever they come upon a flower she’s never seen before, having to smell it and add it to her odor inventory.

“Rey?” Ben’s voice breaks her out of her musings. She gives him a low hum in response. “I’ve been thinking. I think we should ask Poe to give us access to the refugee children, to see if any of them are Force sensitive too.”

Rey stops atop a fallen tree trunk and turns to look at him. His hair is up in a small braid that every so often catches the light sifting through the forests’ canopy. “How do we tell if they’re sensitive? I know that some of them won’t be as apparent as Jezzuu.”

“We would have to develop a test,” he says. “I’m sure there’s something about Force testing in the Jedi texts. We can take that as a sort of guide and create our own test. We’ll look for those who are Force sensitive, yet they have the potential to utilize both light and dark. Ones who are able to control a balance.”

Rey smiles. “It’s nice to see you so interested in starting this New Order.” 

“Well,” he jumps up beside her on the fallen tree. “I’ve had some inspiration.” He swings his arm around her shoulder and kisses her on top of her head, breathing in her scent and how it mingles with that of the forest as he does so.

“Let’s talk to Poe as soon as our patrol is over,” Rey suggests.

“Do you think he’ll go for it?” 

“Of course! What better way is there to rebuild the galaxy then by starting with our youth? And once we decide how the test will go we can administer it to Jezzuu, and see if it’s effective.”

 

XXXX

 

“BN, you going to eat your roll?” Finn asks Ben who is sitting across from him in the canteen. Rey is sitting to Ben’s left and Poe is across from her. 

“It’s all yours, FN,” Ben replies passing the bread over to him. 

Finn immediately stuffs the whole thing in his mouth. Poe gives him a disgusted stare, “Didn’t the First Order, like, program manners or etiquette into you? Ben certainly doesn’t eat like that.” Finn shakes his head.

“In FN’s defense, I was the son of a Senator. She forced me to take etiquette lessons,” Ben tells Poe. “But the man is hungry. We had a hard training session today. Let him eat.”

Finn purses his lips and gives Ben an air kiss, dry crumbs spill from his mouth. “Thanks, BN,” he says around the roll. 

Ben gives him an air kiss back. “You’re welcome, sweetie.”

Poe looks over to Rey, “And you’re okay with this?”

Rey is busy shoveling her own dinner into her mouth. She nods. “Takes the pressure off me,” she jokes. 

Finn swallows down the last of his roll with a thick roll of his throat. “Okay, but serious business. You all think Jezzuu is a Jedi?” he asks.

Rey shakes her head. “No, Finn. That’s not how the Force works. We are pretty sure she’s Force sensitive, meaning she has the potential to control the Force and become a Jedi if she wants to, but we won’t be completely sure until we give her a test.”

“Which brings us to our next point,” Ben says fixing his eyes on Poe. “Once we have this test developed we’d like to administer it to the refugee children to see if any of them are also Force sensitive.” 

Poe nods, “I don’t think that would be a problem. Would their parents be able to refuse them training, though, if they don’t want to hand them over?”

“Absolutely,” Rey states. “The whole point of the New Order is to foster a balance with the Force. If a child is obligated to receive training it makes it more difficult for them to attain that balance.”

“And you all think that this balance of light and dark will make for a better order?” Poe asks.

“Yes,” Ben answers. “Rey is living proof of that. Me, I’m still working on it.”

Poe nods. “I’ll have Lieutenant Connix put out word once you all are ready.”

 

XXXX

 

Ben is hunkered down in a windowless workroom on the base. He has the work lamp on and he moves the small metal parts around with the Force. He can remember when he made his first lightsaber. It had been blue, and he had been so proud of it. He had used the traditional handle and the traditional blade length. It was well balanced and fit his already large grip snugly.

Now he is working on Jezzuu’s practice saber. The difference between a Jedi’s real weapon and the practice is that the beam of energy is dulled a bit for practice. It can’t cause any severe harm, but it can still cause bodily injury.

Ben has chosen a small hilt as well as a short blade to match Jezzuu’s size. The blade, he decided, would be green. He could only imagine how the saber’s light would reflect in the youngling’s eyes as she practiced and learned about the Force.

The hilt of the sword rotates, glaring in the illumination of the work lamp, as Ben puts the finishing touches to the weapon. He’s almost done when he feels a stalking presence behind him, a few feet down the hall. He smiles as the figure reaches the door to his workroom. 

A loud, high undulating cry crashes through the quiet as footsteps speed through the room. Then the footsteps are gone and in a few seconds they’re replaced by a weight hanging on Ben’s broad shoulders. “Ben!” Jezzuu’s high pitched voice reverberates through his ears.

He reaches behind him and begins to tickle the girl, unleashing even more shrieks and laughter from her. When he stops the Twi’lek looks over his shoulder to what he is working on. “Is that mine?” she asks coyly.

She drops from his shoulders and Ben picks up the practice saber. He turns to face the girl still seated on his stool. “It is,” he responds. “Would you like to see it? It’s done.”

Ben thinks her head could fly off with the motion of her enthusiastic nod in response. He clicks the activator on the side of the hilt and the green blade comes to life. Jezzuu gives a small ‘oooh,’ her small purple lips making a perfect round ‘oh.’ “It’s so pretty,” she says.

Ben powers down the blade and plants it into Jezzuu’s open palms. “Now some rules come with this weapon, Jezzuu.” He looks down to her and he sees her green eyes have grown a lighter shade of beryl in her serious intent to listen and take his rules as genuine. “You are only to use this weapon in practice, which hopefully we can start soon. You keep it hidden in a safe place until then, okay? You can’t use it without supervision as it could harm someone, even yourself. Do you understand?” She nods.

“Good. Also, Rey and I want to give you a test. Would you be okay with that?” he asks her.

“A test? What kind of test? Like one taken on a datapad? Like at school?” she inquires with astute curiosity.

Ben gives a slight chuckle. “Not on a datapad. It’s more an oral test, but you can’t fail it. There are no wrong answers.”

She gives him a critical yet confused scrunching of her face. “I guess that would be okay.”

He’s about to reply to her when an alarm starts to blare. Jezzuu’s hands immediately go to her ears. “Get back to your village,” Ben directs. “Go straight there, nowhere else. Understand?”

She gives a succinct nod before taking off toward the direction of the rear exit of the base. Ben stands and heads in the opposite direction, toward the control room.

 

XXXX

 

Rey enters to find the control room bustling with energy and panic. “Poe, what have we got?” Ben’s deep timbre comes from behind her. She continues to walk towards Poe who is leaning over the holotable. Ben is at her side in seconds. On her other side is Finn, who is also staring intently at the security feed projecting in a hue of green.

“A small group of speeders bikes. I count six, but there could be more. They’re approaching from the east. They’ll be at our front door in fifteen minutes,” Poe responds to Ben.

“Fuck,” Ben says. Rey looks at him with large eyes. “The Knights.”

“The Knights of Ren?” Poe asks for clarification.

“Yes, they must have followed us. Maker, damn it! Rey, you ready to rumble?” he turns to her. 

“Always,” she says. 

“Poe, we’ll take care of this. If they strike us down open fire on them with your ion cannons,” Ben directs. “Hopefully, it won’t come to that.”

Rey follows Ben to the main blaster doors of the base. Before the durasteel creaks open she turns to Ben to find him already looking at her. He moves so that his hands are cupping her face, thumbs rubbing the apples of her cheeks. His large nose brushes hers before their lips meet in a short but deep kiss.

When the embrace breaks, Ben steps back. Rey moves her hand to her lightsaber and pats it, eyes still locked on Ben’s. Ben returns the gesture while his gaze turns to a molten gold, the same shade they were before they faced the Praetorian guard. It’s a small detail but it gives Rey a sense of calm. She knows that now, just like then, nothing can stop them because they’re together.

The door begins to descend, and Rey can see that the Knights have made good time. They’re more than halfway to the base now. She and Ben step out into the level ground of Boz Pity, grass caressing the souls of their boots. The door closes behind them.

In another few minutes, the speeder bikes are on them. They stop their advance and the six black clad figures dismount from them in perfect synchronicity. One of the Knights steps forward while the others stay in their formation. “Hello, Ren,” the distorted voice says as he tilts his head to the side. The gesture still gives the air of mock curiosity despite the blankness of the mask covering their face.

“Seppo Ren,” Ben says. It’s not a greeting, but a statement, a threat. 

“Didn’t think I’d be seeing you so soon again,” Seppo replies. “It’s really a pity of what happened to your uncle. It was hard for me to kill him, you know. He had been my teacher as he had been yours once.”

Rey grits her teeth at the jab, but Ben doesn’t waver. This is when Rey realizes that something has changed in him. Whatever happened during his imprisonment it was enough to solidify Ben’s position of balance between the dark and light. She can feel it buzzing through him like an earthquake, sinkhole about to activate. His confidence feeds into her and she sticks her chest out as a result.

“It doesn’t have to be this way, Seppo,” Ben begins. “We were brothers once. We could be again.”

The man barks a laugh and Rey thinks it sounds a bit animalistic. It makes her wonder if there really is a man beneath that mask. “No,” is his only reply before he ignites his lightsaber.

Behind him the five other Knights follow suit each of them holding a red blade of their own design. Rey notices one favors dual blades, while another has made their hilt in an elegant curve. The sight makes something in Rey click. A hyper-focus and awareness snaps into place in her mind and she feels battle ready. Her yellow saberstaff flares to life, and beside her Ben’s purple crossguard does the same.

Seppo goes straight for Ben and two follow after him. That leaves Rey with three Knights of her own, and all of them sink into the flurry of the fight, drowning in stabs, parries, swipes and arcs. 

The grass of the plains are stamped under the warriors’ feet, causing the blades to emit a smell of fresh greenery juxtaposing the burn of cloth as Rey just barely misses one of her opponent's shoulders causing her to just trim the sleeve instead. Ben advances on Seppo and quickly becomes surrounded by the other two Knights. Rey is not worried, though; Ben fights at his best when he feels like a caged animal. 

A guttural roar comes from Rey’s throat as she uses a medium size rock to vault over her attacker, landing in a low crouch she tries to sweep another attacker’s legs. The Knight quickly jumps causing the attack to miss. Ben holds two blades at bay using his crossguard. He kicks behind him catching his approaching enemy in the solar plexus causing them to double over. Ben quickly pushes the two blades from his body, and catches Seppo’s head in a choke hold.

The battle stills and all eyes turn to the two fighters. Ben is a head taller than Seppo, Rey notices, giving him the advantage of the capture. The other Knights do not advance, retreat, or attack, their gazes are all glued to Ben and Seppo.

“Seppo, I told you it didn’t have to be this way,” Ben grits through his teeth between pants. “There is a way to exist in the Light and the Dark Sides of the Force.” 

Rey can feel the apprehension in the other Knights at Ben’s words as they watch these actions unfold.

“You’re weak if you believe that there is anything other than the shadows we were born to thrive in. Using the light makes you vulnerable, powerless,” Seppo spits, his sneer evident even through the mask.

“There is power in vulnerability. They naturally exist side by side in the Living Force,” Rey says, and then she feels Ben push the feeling of balance through the space surrounding them. Images of death and life, sadness and happiness, survival and defeat spread through the air. She can almost tangibly see the feeling as it moves from Knight to Knight, and when it does one after the other they disengage their weapons before removing their masks.

Rey is met with the faces of two men and three women. All of them are sweaty and tired, and she can feel in their souls the fatigue of trying to hold off the light. Their shoulders visibly drop like a weight has detached itself from them. It’s this that makes Rey realize that they were just as conflicted as Ben when she met him on the Supremacy.

“You’re all fools!” Seppo hisses. “There is no such thing as balance without weakness.”

“Yes, but there is no such thing as strength without it either,” Ben says before he attaches his lightsaber back to his belt and puts his had to Seppo’s head. The Knight immediately slumps in Ben’s arms, and one of the other Knights comes over to help Ben carry him inside.

 

XXXX

 

After they have grabbed showers, some food and changed clothes the Knights meet with Ben, Rey, and Poe in the control room. Rey now knows the three women to be Janus, Onoro and Ula and the two men to be Akoni and Talon. 

“We want to help you,” Akoni says to Poe. 

Janus nods her head, “We know about Hux’s attack on Coruscant, but he’ll also be attacking you here hoping that while you’re busy with trying to stop him in space he can obliterate you at your strongest base.” 

Poe looks to the Knights. “And you all know these details how?” he asks.

“Half of us were to report to the Menacer and half of us were to stay here after we completed our mission,” Ula explains.

“The Menacer will be their flagship for the attack on Coruscant,” Onoro adds.

“I think I speak for all of us when I say that we are willing to fight with you,” Talon says. “Our loyalties always lied with our true commander.” All the Knights turn to look at Ben. 

Poe nods. “Well, now that we have some intelligence it looks like we’ll be meeting the First Order on both fronts. It’s time we start to plan for war.” 

Rey’s gaze moves to Ben. His face is set in austere determination. It seems they’re going to battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am having so much fun writing this story. And you all totally make it worth it. So please comment and let me know what you think. I love hearing your opinions and guesses and what you like or didn't like. I live to please you all, so I try to add things I know you all like. 
> 
> I will hopefully have another chapter up by Tuesday. Unfortunately, my boyfriend's parents are in town this weekend so I will not have a lot of time to write. 
> 
> Remember you can follow me on tumblr at @meowloren


	17. Hum Hallelujah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben suss out some more Force sensitives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all. I'm sorry this is coming a bit late after my last update. I had a busy weekend and then yesterday I suffered an injury. I got a cardboard cut right underneath the fingernail of my forefinger. It hurt so bad, I thought I was dying. Anyway the song for this chapter is "Hum Hallelujah" by Fall Out Boy

_ “The road outside my house is paved with good intentions.”  _ \- “Hum Hallelujah” by Fall Out Boy              

Ben hears Jezzuu hiss a little as the medic inserts the needle in the crook of her arm to draw blood. The young Twi’lek lets out the breath she was holding once her small wound is covered in cool bacta gel and Ben gives her a small smile when her green eyes meet his. “See, nothing to fuss over,” he says from his perch on a plastoid crate in the Boz Pity base training room. 

“Why did I have to go that again?” her voice is clear with no lisp, which might be usual for someone of her age. 

Ben rests a comically large hand on her small shoulder, barely skimming one of her head tentacles, “We need to look at your blood and examine the midi-chlorian count.”

Her face puzzles, “Midi - what?” 

“Don’t worry about it. It’s only a formality,” Rey’s voice comes from behind Ben’s shoulder. “Are you ready to begin your test, Jezzuu?” She nods. “Okay, go stand in the middle of the training room, in front of Ben and me.”

As she makes her way over there her gaze searches the room until she sees that Finn has deposited himself in the shadows near the door. He gives her an encouraging nod and she puffs out her chest in response.

“Okay Jezzuu, your test will consist of two parts. The first, will be meditation. Will you please sit on the mat and cross your legs?” Ben asks. Jezzuu follows his instruction without hesitation, her small bottom making a soft thump on the floor. “Now close your eyes, and describe to Rey and me how you ended up on Boz Pity.”

She does as commanded and her face starts out flat and serene. “My family and I lived in a small hut on Akiva in the Outer Rim. It was my mother, my brother, my father and me. We lived in a small village just outside Orchard Hill.

“When I was very little, my brother was taken by the First Order to join the Stormtrooper program. He was five. My mother tried to stop them, but they killed her.” Jezzuu’s face becomes a storm of torment and sadness. “From then on it was just my father and me. 

“He was a farmer. He didn’t grow much food, but enough for us to keep and sell the extra in the village. Then about a year and a half ago, the First Order returned and confiscated the farmland to start growing resources for their military. Any farmer who refused to give their food to the First Order were killed along with their families.

So, my father and I snuck out of our village at night and headed for the Karyvinhouse plantation where he bought us passage on a ship to Coruscant. From there we claimed refugee status and we were shuttled here.” Jezzuu’s face returns to a normal visage, with no trace of the past sadness to be found.

“When we got here, though; my father got sick. The medics tried everything to save him,” her voice hitches and tears begin to bud on the end of her eyelashes before solemnly rolling down her face. “He died a few months later, so since then Finn has been looking after me along with the other Twi’leks who are also refugees.” Then through her tears a light flows over her features like liquid. “And I’ve made a lot of friends. I miss my family and I think of them everyday, but I have a new one now.”

Ben turns to confer with Rey and notices that she’s crying along with the youngling. He softly and sweetly extends his hand and catches a tear on his forefinger. Then he places a tender kiss to her temple. “What do you think?” she asks him.

“I think her resilience is a good sign that she can find light in the dark, that she can counter a bad situation with positivity and light. Like someone else I know,” he responds. Rey blushes at him. “Jezzuu, thank you for sharing that with us. You can open your eyes now.”

The girl does and looks expectantly at Rey and Ben. Once she realizes that Rey’s eyes are raw and red from her own tears Jezzuu immediately apologizes. “Oh, Miss Rey I didn’t mean to make you cry!”

Rey waves her hand, “Nonsense. I enjoyed your story very much. Are you ready for the second part of the test?”

Jezzuu gives an exaggerated nod. “I’m sure you brought your lightsaber with you, like we asked?” Ben asks. She nods again. “Good, go ahead and grab it. Artoo!”

At Ben’s call the astromech droid comes rolling in, his eye alternating from blue to red and back to blue. He gives a whistle of a greeting to Finn before coming before the two Jedi. “I couldn’t find any strike droids, so I had to make due. I installed a similar program on Artoo, so we could use him in the testing,” Ben explains to Rey. 

Jezzuu comes to stand next to Artoo and gives him a hello accompanied by a shy smile and a giggle. “Jezzuu, Artoo here will be testing your reflexes. He will be shooting small beams of energy at you and you are to deflect them using your weapon,” Rey explains. Jezzuu moves a few feet away from the droid and turns to face him. 

“Ignite your saber,” Ben instructs. She does so, the blue light making her skin a very light purple in tone. “Begin.”

Artoo starts slow with a beam of green energy here and there. They are sometimes aimed at the girl’s head or her feet. Once Artoo sees that Jezzuu is keeping up with his pace the blasts come faster and more varied. Ben wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but he wasn’t expecting Jezzuu’s near-perfect form or her well-attuned reflexes. She doesn’t miss a single bolt and is able to keep up with Artoo with every increase of speed.

“That’s enough,” he says. “Very good, Jezzuu!” She disengages her lightsaber as Artoo gives her a beep of praise. 

“Jezzuu, do you know what you are?” Rey asks. 

Without missing a beat or even needing time to think about it she responds, “I’m like you and Ben.”

“Do you know of any of your friends that are like you, me, and Rey?” Ben asks running a pale hand through his inky hair. 

“Um,” the girl’s face bunches on one side in concentration. “Maybe Tu, Melleriana, and Luun. I can sometimes feel their energy and they feel similar.”

Ben turns to Rey, “We’re going to need more practice sabers.”

 

XXXX

 

That evening Ben makes his way through the corridors of the base to the main hanger. Once there he sees a large brown furry creature with half of his body extending into the underside of the Falcon. 

Ben had been dreading this conversation, but he’s not sure if he’ll have the courage again to approach his uncle. He walks toward the ship just as Chewie exits the impromptu hole in the undercarriage. 

“Has there ever been a time when you and Dad weren’t working on her?” Ben asks his uncle in an attempt to break the ice. He’s met with no response. “Do you need some help? I wouldn’t mind getting my hands dirty.” He puts an arm up to grab hold of the edge of the ship and leans against it. Again there is no response.

Ben lets out a massive sigh as he scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “Look, I know you don’t want to talk to me, but I need to say something. I’m sorry for everything. For leaving, for the things I did as Kylo Ren, for all of it.”

_ “For killing your father?”  _ comes the Wookie’s response.

Ben is taken aback by his bluntness. “Yes, especially for that, but the truth is I didn’t deserve a father like him. He . . . they deserved a better son and that wasn’t me. I shouldn’t have let my mind be poisoned against them even if it wasn’t my fault. 

“I definitely didn’t deserve their love even after all I’d done, but they were my parents. They were going to love me no matter what. Rey showed me that, but now it’s too late to thank them. To apologize, but it’s not too late for you. I’m sorry, Uncle Chewie, and thank you for coming to rescue me.”

He wasn’t expecting to cry, but thinking about his parents was like having someone poke the bruised part of his soul, his psyche. Chewie is silent as he takes in Ben’s form. Then before Ben can make his exit the Wookie extends his long furry arms and pulls his nephew to him. “I never stopped loving you, too. Just like mom and dad and Luke. I carried you around with me the whole entire time. Especially after you shot me with your bowcaster,” Ben explains with a sniffle. Chewie gives what must be a slight laugh. “Jeez, I can’t believe this piece of junk still runs,” he says trying to ease the tension as Chewie lets him go.

_ “This piece of junk is Rey’s now,”  _ comes his uncle’s response. 

Ben looks confused, “Rey’s ship? Why would she want it? It’s trash.”

Chewie nods before an incessant screech comes from the interior of the ship followed by a small patter of feet down the loading ramp. They both look over to see two porgs making their way into the hanger.  _ “Those blasted birds. I can’t seem to get rid of them,”  _ comes Chewie’s frustrated growl. 

Ben nods, “I’ll see if I can’t find a way to get rid of them for you.” The two of them stare at the birds in silence.

_ “Rey was able to bypass the compressor,”  _ his uncle says after a few moments returning to their previous conversation. 

“She did what with the compressor?” Ben asks as his dark eyebrows disappear into his hairline.

 

XXXX

 

It’s been a few days since Rey and Ben have been able to have quality time together as they’ve both been running around trying to prepare their respective duties for the oncoming battle. Ben’s just happy he’s been able to find a quiet hour to himself where he’s sequestered himself into one of the many workrooms of the base.

He’s currently polishing the hilt of his lightsaber taking in the workmanship Rey put into making it when something bright and bubbly starts to sprout in his chest, right underneath his ribcage. He looks up to see a woman with dark hair pulled back into a ponytail, brown eyes, and wearing an olive green mechanics suit poke her head into the workspace. “Oh, sorry! I was looking for Poe,” she explains.

Ben wipes his brow with the back of the hand holding his polishing rag, “I think he said something about getting some rest.”

“Well, then I’ll just catch him later,” she says. Ben goes back to running the dirt stained rag over his lightsaber, but when he looks up again a second later he sees the woman is still there her head still leaning over the threshold into the room, staring at him. His gaze must move her out of her trance because she shakes her head and then walks into the room hand extended. “Oh um, sorry. Hi, I’m Rose Tico.” 

Ben takes her hand, “Ben Solo. I’ve heard a little bit about you from Rey.”

“Only good things I hope.” 

“Of course.”

Rose takes a moment and studies his profile, “Huh! You don’t really look like a Sith Lord.”

“Probably because I never was one. That was just a rumor.”

“Really?”   
“Yeah, I practiced using the Dark Side of the Force, but never had my eyes change to the signature red.”   
Rose’s eyes grow in surprise, “They do that.”

Ben chuckles, “If legend of the ancient Sith Lords are to be believed.”

Rose giggles back behind her slender hand. “Do you mind if I join you?

Ben pats the space next to him on the bench, “Go right ahead.”

“It’s a nice weapon,” Rose nods her head towards the saber in Ben’s hands.

“Rey did a really good job.”

“Yeah, I was with her during her mad dash to make it. When I asked if she knew how to construct one she said that she didn’t, but the Force would guide her,” Rose explains.

Ben smiles, “Did the Force guide her to the color purple, too?”

“Nah, she got that from those weird books she keeps in the Falcon. She said purple was used by Jedi who used both the light and dark to keep peace.”

“Huh,” Ben breathes.

“Yeah, she’s really smart.”

Ben turns toward Rose, “You have no idea. Hey, do you think you’d like to help me with something?” 

Rose gives a beaming smile, “Sure!”

That afternoon Rose and Ben shepherd a herd of porgs safely from the Falcon, through various hallways and out the rear exit of the base, so that they could settle in an abandoned greenhouse on the base grounds. It sits in a courtyard that surrounds a working fountain, which allows the porgs to have a place to play and commune.

While they were herding the porgs the refugee children took an interest, and in the days after Ben would find a few children with the porgs at all times helping them to acclimate.

And strangely enough, he thought his uncle would be happy to have the birds gone, but Ben recognized a sorrowful look in the Wookie’s face as he and Rose enticed the porgs off the ship with some fish.

 

XXXX

 

Jezzuu’s hunch about her friends were right. Ben and Rey administered the test to the three younglings and they all presented gifts within the Force, and the two Jedi found their first students of the New Order.

Tu Zayelt is a seven-year-old Zabrak with peachy white skin and darker orange facial tattoos that are a signature physical feature for his race, though; he has not developed his horns yet. His brown eyes shine bright with intelligence and confidence.

Melleriana Elysar is the oldest of the four students at fourteen-years-old and belongs to the cat species of the Schenor. She’s just about Rey’s height with a coat of onyx black with patches of very light brownish cream dispersed throughout her coat. She has a slim tail and yellow eyes with pupils like slits.

Luun Obarel is twelve-years-old and is from the Vahla species. She has dark gray skin, pale purple eyes, and long white hair that she normally wears in an intricate braid down the middle of her back.

Ben smiles down at the Padawans before him as they huddle together in the training room along with Rey, Finn and the Knights of Ren. At one end of the room Ben goes through some simple forms with the younglings while Rey, Finn and the Knights spar each giving pointers to each other. 

Just as everyone is about to call it a day, Melleriana glances over to the sparring group then back to her master. “Master Ben,” her tone is questioning. “Will you and Master Rey spar together?”

“What?” Ben’s not sure he understands the question.

“Yeah!” Tu pipes in. “That would be so cool to see you fight her. I bet you’d beat her cause she’s a girl!”

Ben’s dark bronze eyes flash over to the young one, “Zu, you must never underestimate an enemy or a friend.”

He looks down at his feet. “Yes, Master.”

Ben then looks across the room towards Rey. She has her tawny hair halfway pulled up in a band and it bounces around the crown of her head as her lithe muscular body complete forms and strikes against Talon. He gives a mischievous smile. He did promise her that they’d train together one day. “Hey Rey, you up for some sparring?” he asks.

She glances over towards him and the kids, “What do you think I’m doing?”

“I meant against me,” he says.

Ornoro smiles from behind Rey, “She could take you anyday, Solo.” 

Jezzuu sticks out her tongue towards the Knight in a daring move, “Nu uh! Master Ben is the best at lightsabering.” Ben has to hold back a chuckle.

Rey shrugs a shoulder, “Why not?”

Ben gets the kids to move to form a circle around the edges of the room and the Knights and Finn complete the circle at the other end. 

Rey crouches on her haunches with her saberstaff in front of her for the starting position for the Vapaad fighting form. She ignites her saber and two blades of bright canary extend from each end.

Ben faces her and extends his left leg back behind him bending his knees slightly, raising his blade before him in the starting position for the Shien fighting form. When he hits his saber’s activator button the bright amethyst energy flares to life forming his preferred crossguard.

Both wait, letting their energy coil into their legs and at the base of their spines, and when Finn tells them to begin they’re both a burst of vitality and strength. Their blades meet with a crackle and a hiss as they attack, counter-attack, parry, and block each others’ advances and retreats. 

At one point, Ben is able to wrestle away Rey’s staff sending it rolling toward the opposite side of the room, leaving her to attack with a side-kick to his stomach. Ben catches her foot and spins her leg and she goes flying following her saber, and just before Rey retrieves her weapon Ben decides that, that move was a bad idea. Once Rey is again armed they continue their dance. 

Just as Ben was able to disarm her Rey disarms him, but Ben pools the Force in his palm and sends it shooting towards Rey’s staff sending it hurtling. Now both weaponless, their sparring moves to hand-to-hand, and it’s apparent Rey is not as adept at this aspect of combat. Before she knows it Ben has her pinned to the mat, his weight evenly distributed across her body. Rey grits her teeth, “Yield.”

A smile spreads across his face, “I’m sorry what was that?”

Rey tries to wrangle from his grasp, but is unable to slip through. “Ugh, yield,” she gives him a glare.

“That’s what I thought,” he gives her a swift kiss on the cheek before standing up and pulling her up to join him. 

“See, told you!” comes Tu’s voice.

“You know, Rey, we should probably concentrate more on hand-to-hand for you in our next training session,” Ben says.

With his back towards her, Rey doesn’t think that Ben can see her stick her tongue out at him. The younglings giggle and Ben smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT  
> COMMENT  
> COMMENT  
> Yes, seriously comment.  
> Also, I took some liberties with the test that Ben and Rey give Jezzuu and with their fighting forms. But I hope you guys liked it anyway.


	18. In My Veins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Training with the younglings and battle planning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it's taken me a while. My brain has been a bit scattered and I've been so exhausted lately. Fuck PMS and I right?
> 
> Anyway please comment. The song for this chapter is "In My Veins" by Andrew Belle.

_ “Everything is dark. It’s more than you can take, but you catch a glimpse of sunlight.”  _ \- “In My Veins” by Andrew Belle

 

The lights of Ben and Rey’s private quarters started to dimly alight, simulating the sunrise of outside. In response, Rey groans and rolls over to bury her face in Ben’s side. “I don’t want to get up,” she says into Ben’s pale, scarred skin. She takes a deep breath and the distinct smell of her partner fills her nostrils. He smells of metal, soap, and the loamy forest outside. She sighs into him.

As if she’s breathing life into him Ben takes a deep inhale, moving his long arms to encircle Rey’s small form. “I don’t want to either,” he says. He places a kiss at the top of her head. Her hair is smooth against his five o'clock shadow on his chin and upper lip. “But we’ve got to take the younglings out to the forest today.”

“Why must you do that?” Rey asks a line forming between her brows.

Ben gives a chuckle. “Do what?”

“Remind me of our duties? Can’t we just exist a small while without them?” 

He nuzzles deeper into her hair, “Darling, there is a war on. Even if we could, we couldn’t.”

Rey knows he has a point, and the feeling of impending bloodshed is new to her. Her stomach clutches tight against her spine at the thought. Ben can feel her fear, it fills up the spaces between then and around them. He takes a large, callused hand and smooths her hair down the back of her neck and then he’s using the tips of his fingers to knead the skin there. He can feel her terror fade almost immediately. He gives a small quirk to the corners of his mouth. 

_ This is how it will be after the battle,  _ he thinks.  _ We will find paradise and comfort in each other everyday, while building a new order of peacekeepers for the galaxy.  _ The thought leaves a bitter aftertaste, though.  _ But what if we fail them? _

It’s Rey’s turn to sip Ben’s anxiety from their joined atmosphere. She sits up next to him and places a well-worn palm on his cheek, her thumb lining up with the part of his scar that sits on his cheekbone. “What’s wrong, my love?”

“What if we fuck them up?” his less than articulate answer bursts forth from his mouth like a broken dam.

His syntax is enough to make Rey give a small huff of laughter. “Who?”

“The younglings? What if we don’t train them correctly?”

Rey gives him an understanding smile. “Ben, there is no right or wrong way to train them. They are individuals and each of them learn differently, and the Force will help us discover the ways in which each of them need to be taught. We have to trust in that. 

“For instance, if you haven’t noticed Melleriana is a little distrustful of us. As the oldest, that’s understandable. She’s seen countless horrors up to this point in her life, but she is eager to learn, eager to replace those bad things with good. And Luun’s race inherently has an affinity for the Dark Side, but if we can teach her how to balance the dark with the light she will a powerful and well rounded Jedi.”

Ben searches her ochre eyes and mentally draws a constellation using the dots of moss flecked throughout her iris. He can’t help but give her a bright smile accompanied by a puff of air floating past his lips. “You’re right,” he admits.

“I’m always right,” she says pulling back the covers of their bed and standing to stretch.

“Don’t you get tired of it?” Ben takes in her figure wearing only underwear and a white shirt, hair tousled down her back. She hasn’t cut it since he first met her and it’s grown long. He loves it because every time he runs his fingers through it his digits get stuck in the strands like a wild animal in a trap.

She turns to look at him over her shoulder, “No.” She winks and turns back around gathering the mass of her wavy locks into a bun on top of her head. “Plus, if you think about it, the younglings won’t only be learning from their own mistakes, but ours as well. And all that can do is make them better masters in the end.”

Ben’s gaze drifts down to Rey’s butt and the swell of flesh peeking out from underneath the cotton. When his eyes finally meander back up above Rey’s waist he sees her looking at him with a cocked eyebrow and a sanguin grin, but he doesn’t blush at being caught ogling her. “You’re so smart. Have I ever told you that I would never trade you for any other training partner in this galaxy?”

“Just our training partnership, or other partnerships?” she asks as she makes her way around the bed towards the fresher. Before she’s able to make it away from his side of the bed she feels a light tug on her arm. 

She follows the line of her arm to meet Ben’s umber stare. “No, Rey. All partnerships,” he says and a beat pasts between them before he gives a gentle pull on her arm, bringing her crashing down on top of him. He rolls so that she is underneath him and he buries his head in the space under her chin and atop her breastbone. 

Rey lets out a giggling shriek in the form of his name.

 

XXXX

 

Ben can’t explain why it’s comforting to feel Rey’s modest grip in his as they make their way to the training room. Maybe it’s because when they are connected in anyway - whether it be intimate or chaste - he feels resolutely whole. 

He’s peering at her when the two of them are stopped by Poe. “We’ve gotten word from our scouts,” he says.

“When?” comes Rey’s response.

Poe’s stare at Ben and Rey is dark and forlorn, “A week from now.”

“When will we need to deploy our space forces?” Ben asks.

“Tomorrow,” Poe says. “There will be a complete briefing this afternoon.”

They both nod and then look at each other. It’s time, and war will be at their door before they know it.

 

XXXX

 

Rey can feel the sweat roll down her spine as Ben, the Knights, the younglings, and she occupy the forest floor. It’s an uncharacteristically humid day on Boz Pity with no cool breeze to break up the heat. 

She looks before her at the four children sitting on various logs and stumps with their eyes closed. Ben and Rey thought it would be a good idea to teach them how to detect life forces using the living Force. So, they had their students make a rough circle amongst the trees and plants and settle into a deep meditation. They then had the Knights spread out and try to approach the group from different directions while the padawans tried to detect them.

“Master Janus is approaching from my six o’clock,” Melleriana states from her spot on a low, thick limb of a tree. This proclamation is soon followed by a rustle of leaves from a nearby sapling and the appearance of the fair haired Knight. 

Ben gives Melleriana her due praise and then they all lapse back into silence. Janus approaches him and greets him with a fist touch that he returns. Then to Rey’s surprise the Knight extends the same greeting to her. Rey returns it knowing that this is a sign of respect. 

There is a small giggle and Rey looks over to Jezzuu. “Master Talon is incoming. I mean he’s coming from my . . .,” the small Twi’lek then picks up her left hand and begins to count her fingers. “He’s coming from my two o’clock.” She puts her hand back onto her knee and beams, eyes still closed. 

Talon springs forth from the brush, “That would be your eleven o’clock, but close.” Rey has to stifle a laugh.

Onoro and Ula approach together just to throw an unexpected development into the training. “Masters Onoro and Ula are advancing from my three o’clock,” Luun describes just before the two masters burst forth in identical front rolls. They stand up from the forest floor and dust off the leaves and dirt from their robes. 

“Good job, students. Now all that’s left is Master Akoni,” Ben says smiling. Jezzuu raises her hand. “Yes, Jezzuu?” Ben asks.

“I don’t sense him in the Force anywhere,” she says. Melleriana and Luun soon agree with her. 

Rey reaches out with her own senses before turning to Ben and whispering, “He’s cloaking himself. We specifically said no cloaking.” 

Ben holds up a  hand, “Hold on. Akoni never does anything without a point.”

There is a few more moments of silence before Tu raises his hand. “Yes, Tu?” Rey asks.

“What o’clock is it if someone is right above us?” he asks.

Ben gives a few blunt blinks of his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” Tu begins. “Master Akoni is sitting above us on a tree branch.” The young Zabrak opens his eyes and points up.

The whole group cranes their necks and sure enough, the middle-aged Anzat man is sitting swinging his legs and munching on a peace of fruit quietly. “What a clever child,” Akoni says staring at Tu. He then laughs as he rises from his seat and jumps from the tree. “Well done, youngling Tu,” he says patting the boy’s back.

“Master Ben?” Luun’s voice breaks through the moment. Ben looks over to her. “What will happen to us during the battle?”

Ben looks to Rey. They had discussed this a couple of days ago and had come to an agreement. “You all will be with the other refugees in the warehouse on the east side of the planet,” he responds.

Melleriana gives a huff, “But we wanted to fight!”

“You all have a more important job to do,” Rey says. “You will have to protect the innocent.”

“That is the biggest responsibility of all,” Talon says from his place next to Ben. “Some of the best Jedi never see battle, but all Jedi must protect those who cannot protect themselves.”

“Master Ben, I’m scared,” Jezzuu’s little voice is a squeak. 

Ben strolls over to the girl and crouches on his hunches before her. He takes her little hand in his, “I’m scared, too, but that’s okay. You know why?” She shakes her head. “Fear is a great motivator. It makes you fight harder, but you must always remember that you do not fight because you are afraid in a situation. You fight because, as a last resort, it is the right thing to do.”

All the younglings nod in understanding towards Ben. Rey even realizes that some of the Knights are also nodding in agreement. 

Hopefully, this will be the first and only war their Jedi Order will have to fight in.

 

XXXX

 

The control room of the base is stuffy and uncomfortable due to the amount of body heat accumulating in the medium-sized space. Rey and Ben stand next to a durasteel pillar, almost leaning against it together, and they are flanked by Chewie next to Ben and Finn next to Rey. Among the company of high ranking Resistance officers and squad leaders are the Knights, having given their express loyalty in helping the Resistance fight against the First Order. 

“Okay, let’s get started,” comes Poe’s commanding tone as he walks in circling the holotable. “We will be splitting our forces and resources in half. The first half will remain here to meet the ground forces the First Order is sending to distract us. The other half will make their way to Coruscant tomorrow to meet the First Order in space and stop them from releasing their bio-chemical weapon. 

“Our refugees here will be sequestered away in the hidden warehouse on the east side of the planet. They will be undetected there. Just in case, Ben Solo’s and Rey’s apprentices will have a comm to make contact if they are discovered.

“The team going into space will be myself, Rose Tico, Chewbacca, R2D2, and BB-8 along with Knights Akoni, Janus, and Talon. I will be commander while we are in the air. We will lead an attack squadron complete with twelve X-Wing fighters, the Falcon, six star destroyers and five bombers. 

“Our intelligence indicates that the First Order forces will include two dreadnoughts - one of which being Hux’s main control - thirty-six TIE fighters and three star destroyers. Our main objective is to destroy their bio-chemical weapon before they release it on the planet below.

“To do this we will have a covert force landing in Hux’s ship to take out the weapon. The team, which will be made up of Knights Talon and Akoni, Rose Tico and R2D2, will take Ben’s Upsilon-class shuttle that will be accompanied by a small battalion of X-Wing fighters. The fighters will cause a distraction allowing our covert operation to land and make their way to the main power cut-off.

“Once there, they will shut off the main power causing the ship to fall out of orbit, and crashing into the other dreadnought. The burning of both ships will neutralize the bio-chem weapon, as it will either burn with the ships or become ineffective in the vacuum of space. Once that is accomplished the covert team will quickly make their way to their shuttle and get themselves out of there.

“While that is happening, Knight Janus will be on the Falcon with Chewbacca, who will launch her to one of the destroyers, where she’ll sabotage it’s targeting systems making them aim at their own forces instead of ours. The rest of us just have to keep their forces busy long enough for both teams to get in, perform their objective and get out.

“As for the ground forces here on Boz Pity, their team will be Finn, Rey, Ben Solo and C3PO along with Knights Onoro and Ula. Finn, Ben, and Rey will be the commanders. You all will have at your disposal three ion cannons, twelve laser cannons, four all terrain tactical enforcers and eight all terrain missile platforms that we recovered from the Order along with twelve X-Wing fighters and 8,000 infantry. 

“Intelligence indicates the Order will be bringing twelve AT-ATs and 12,000 infantry. Rey, Ben, and Finn will lure the First Order forces to the frontline while Knights Onoro and Ula bring the X-Wings to sweep in behind. They will focus on the AT-ATs along with some smaller groups of infantry that have special missions to take four of the AT-ATs for the Resistance.

“If any of the First Order surrenders they are to be taken prisoner to await trial. Is that understood?” Poe looks around the room at nodding heads.

“What about Hux?” Lieutenant Connix asks.

Poe’s dark eyes meet Ben’s, “He is to be shot on sight.”

Soon after Poe dismisses the group. 

 

XXXX

 

The next week passes in a flurry of combat training and lightsaber handling for the younglings. It’s not what Ben necessarily wanted to teach them, but it’s what they needed to learn just in case any First Order forces broke off and found where the refugees were hidden.

And against his better judgement, he, Rey and the Knights had constructed real lightsabers for Melleriana and Luun, as they’ve shown a certain adeptness with the blades. Ben hoped that they wouldn’t have to use them.

Now he finds himself laying in bed with Rey on the eve of battle. They face each other in the dark and he can faintly make out her lips and the bridge of her small nose. 

“Are you scared?” he asks.

“Terrified,” she says and he can feel her breath brush over his lips they’re so close.

“Me too.”

“Why?”

Ben sighs, “I don’t want to let you down like I let my parents down. I don’t want to let our apprentices down or the Resistance.”

Rey gives her head a half shake, “You won’t. I saw your future remember? You’ll have me until the last star.”

“Until the last star,” he breathes.

They lay in silence for a few moments before Rey speaks again, “And you didn’t.”

“Didn’t what?”

“You’re parents. You didn’t disappoint them.”

Ben makes a noise deep in his throat, “I’m not so sure.”

He then feels a shift from Rey’s spot next to him as she stretches out her hand. He can hear something in the distance fluttering softly towards them, then in an instant Rey has a small envelope in her hand. “Here. It’s from your father. He apparently left it with your mother before he went to Starkiller. She then gave it to Luke just before she died, who then gave it to me before he died. It’s for you, though. I was told I would know when to give it to you, and when is now.”

Ben delicately grabs for the envelope in her hand and gets up to make his way out towards the sitting room. He turns on a lamp next to the couch and sits down.

His fingers shake as he pries the lip of the envelope open, and it seems like an eternity before he gets the pages unfolded. He steels himself and then he reads: 

 

_ Hey there, kid, _

 

_ I’m writing because I know how much you love calligraphy, and this isn’t as pretty as all that, but it’s on actual paper, written with an actual pen. I hope your calligraphy isn’t something you’ve stopped doing because you loved it so much, and you were so good at it. But that’s not the point. _

_ The point is, I’m sorry. I could’ve been a better father to you, but I wasn’t. I should’ve been there more often for you and your mother, both. And your mother and I should’ve had you home from Luke’s more often, or we should’ve just brought you home when you asked. I don’t know. Hindsight is only 20/20, and we should’ve seen the signs. I should have seen them. _

_ Please know you did nothing wrong. You were a boy who needed protection and attention, both of which aren’t too hard to give. I know I’m writing this letter because the next time you’ll see me is when you will kill me. And please know I go to you willingly, knowing that this is the price. You have to do it, but I know that the dark is not your end. You’ll be back, and because of that you need to know that we failed you, son, and we are so very sorry. In spite of that, though, you’ll go on to do many great things, greater than even my Kessel Run.  _

_ Know that I love you, and the day I became your father was the proudest day of my life. _

 

_ Your father, _

_ Han _

 

_ P.S. _

_ When you do come back, and if that scavenger girl, Rey, is still around please watch out for her. She reminds me a lot of you, of how lonely you were as a kid. And like you, there’s something special about her and she’ll need a friend. _

 

A strangled sob makes its way from Ben’s chest. His skin feels too tight, like he was about to shed it and new, softly pink skin would take its place. He feels sad, but also revived. He feels like he was shiny and new like a brand new ship off the production line. Ben no longer feels broken, but whole.

He feels slim, lithe arms come around his shoulders, rubbing the bare skin of his collarbones and chest. He grabs the hand resting just above his heart and pulls it to his mouth, pressing his lips softy to Rey’s palm. 

“I never disappointed him,” he states.

He can feel her shake her head from where it sits at the top of his head, “No, you didn’t.”

Ben’s cries come freely now, and in the wash of salty tears he is a broken parable, reborn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are getting to the end of it. Got any predictions for the battle to come?
> 
> Comment with your guesses. 
> 
> I miss you guys!


	19. Kamikaze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle starts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise chapter.
> 
> The song for this chapter is "Kamikaze" by Walk the Moon.

_ “It’s not about the crown. We could share the kingdom.”  _ \- “Kamikaze” by Walk the Moon                 

 

Rey can feel the familiar weight of her saberstaff on her back as she stands on the flat plains surrounding the front of the Resistance base. She and Ben were up at first light, along with Finn readying their troops, giving orders,and finalizing battle strategies. With only a anemic piece of fruit to eat for breakfast her stomach rolls as her eyes take in the even green before her. 

She looks next to her, and sees Finn worrying the inside of his cheek. It wasn’t easy for him to say goodbye to Rose. Rey flashes back to a week ago to when their forces departed for Coruscant space. 

Finn has been holding Rose’s upper shoulders so hard Rey could see the distinct look of minor pain on the woman’s face, and when Finn realized that his grip was the cause he immediately loosened his fingers, turning them into a caress. “I can’t lose you,” his clear voice pleaded.

Rose gave a weak laugh, “I’m not going anywhere, dummy. I’m fighting for what I love.”

Finn pressed a hard kiss to Rose’s lips. “When you get back, I want to get married. I want you to be my family, Rose,” he said. 

Rey had been blinded by the grin that answered Finn’s declaration. 

Looking at him now, Finn’s fear has multiplied. Rey reaches over and takes his hand, eyes roving over his blasters and vibrostaff. “I’ll make sure you get back to her,” Rey says.

Finn pulls on Rey’s arm and takes her into a tight hug. She can barely hear him whisper thank you into her hair.

 

XXXX

 

Various noises surround Ben as he takes in the sight of the younglings in the warehouse. The refugees are a cacophonous symphony and he leads the young fighters outside to hear them better. 

“Melleriana and Luun, you have your sabers?” he asks. The two apprentices each pat the weapons strapped to their sides. “Good. Now remember, always be on your guard, check the Force constantly for any new life forms. If the area is breached, your first priority it to get everyone to safety. There is a bolthole at the back of the warehouse that leads to the mountains. That will be your escape route. I will, personally, come and get you after the battle.” The two girls nod at his orders.

“May the Force be with you Master,” they say simultaneously.

“And with you,” he replies. A sniffle comes from beside him and Ben looks down to see Jezzuu next to him, tears trickling down her face. “What is wrong, young one?”

“I’m scared for you,” she says.

He kneels in front of her. “I will be back, I promise. Help your fellow students, and remember fear is a tool not something that will cripple you.”

Ben told his Knights just that before they were split up a week ago. They were standing around him in a semi-circle as he addressed them. 

“Remember you may be Knights of Ren, but the Knights are Jedi now. You are beacons of light. After this battle I want the Knights to be synonymous with hope throughout the galaxies. I know that is what you want as well. Fear is not your enemy it is your friend. Fear is not your master, but your equal. Make me proud,” he said to the them.

At his words each one of them kneeled in front of him, sabers supinated in their hands. “We go to do the bidding of the new Jedi Order, the order of balance,” they replied in sonorous unison. It was enough for tears to come to Ben Solo’s eyes. It was enough to give him hope for the future.

 

XXXX

 

Rey feels a tug on her soul, and looks behind her to find Ben standing just before the entrance to the base. She makes her way towards him, dodging out of the way of soldiers making their way to their posts. 

When she reaches him, he does the unexpected and kneels. Ben takes his lightsaber from his side and ignites it, pushing the end of the crossblade into the stone beneath him. Both hands hold the black hilt, and he bows his head. “Rey of Jakku, I pledge myself to you, so that you may have the love of my heart, the spirit of my soul, the strength of my Force, and the protection of my body if need be. From now until the last star in the galaxy burns away,” his voice is stark and concise. 

Rey lays her hand on the pommel of his blade, “I accept your pledge, and I pledge the same.”

Ben extinguishes his saber and stands. His bare hands go to Rey’s waist. He pulls her to him and kisses her with strength and conviction that washes away any breath Rey had. When the kiss breaks they walk through the throng of infantry and make their way towards the front line to Finn.

Finn greets both of them and notices that both Jedi are dressed for battle. Ben wears black pants, black leather boots, a black half button, long-sleeved shirt rolled to his elbows, and a black long cape. Rey is donned in vibrant red pants, black leather boots, a gray tunic, red arm wraps and a gray cape.

Ben gives Finn a nod, “FN.”

“BN,” Finn returns. 

A sucking noise comes from over head, and all three commanders look up and see that their enemy has exited lightspeed. “They’re here,” Rey says.

“Give the signal,” Ben says. 

Finn takes a flare blaster from his holster, point it straight up to the sky, and fires. A bright yellow flare rapidly ascends through the clear sky. The battle has begun.

 

XXXX

 

The Upsilon-class shuttle and X-Wing fighters withdraw from lightspeed only twenty minutes before the Resistance fleet behind them. It’s enough time for them to give the false clearance codes to the commanders on the Abolisher. As they make their approach, Rose looks out one of the viewports down at the planet below.

The surface looks exactly like space, pinpointed with dots of light like stars. Except she knows that it’s all one huge city that covers the lifely orb. “Have you ever been?” Talon asks her.

“No, but I’d like to one day,” she says.

“All the more motivation to fight today,” Talon says.

Rose nods. “How many people live down there?”

Akoni comes to stand behind her, “One trillion, roughly.” 

Rose gives a thick swallow and turns to the Knights and R2-D2, “Then we are going to save every last one.”

Just as she says this the Rogue Squadron zooms past the window as the dog fight outside rages on. 

The floor underneath them shakes as they land inside the hanger of The Abolisher dreadnought a few minutes later. “Let’s do this,” Talon says before engaging the loading ramp.

 

XXXX

 

The transports, AT-ATs, and infantry are only small bugs sitting on the horizon line, but already there is a problem on the ground.

“They’ve brought a shield generator,” Finn says.

He passes the binoculars to Ben, who looks through them before passing them to Rey and pointing in the direction she should look. “How can we take it out?” she asks binoculars still pressed to her eyes.

“The only way is by hand. We don’t have anything powerful enough to puncture the shield and take out the generator itself,” Ben says.

Rey thinks about this for a moment. “I’ll take a few special ops with me. We can go through the forest and come around their forces. Then we sneak through the shield and take out the generator.”

“What about the X-Wings?” Finn asks.

“Don’t signal for them to start their attack until you see that shield fall,” she says. “If the shield doesn’t go down within the hour, fire everything we have.”

Ben looks at her, “Be careful.”

Rey nods, and makes her way through the troops, pulling a few she knows to follow her.

 

XXXX

 

The Abolisher’s hangar is in chaos with TIE fighters disembarking and mechanics rushing to ready more fighters. Thankfully, the Resistance saved the Stormtrooper uniforms Rey and Finn pilfered when they saved Ben. Rose wears one of those uniforms now, while the Knights are back in their masks.

It’s enough for them to go unseen through the storm of war. R2 follows after them, keeping quiet while his astromech dome rotates taking in the scene. Akoni and Talon lead the way, and soon they are out of the hanger and making their way through the various hallways of the dreadnought.

“Just try to blend in,” Akoni says.

“I am blending in,” Rose says.

The Knight turns to her, “I was talking to myself.”

Rose smiles underneath her helmet.

 

XXXX

 

The First Order sends their infantry ahead of their AT-ATs, and the Resistance meets them anxiously in combat. Blaster fire whiz past Ben and Finn’s heads. Most of the First Order Stormtroopers are armed with blasters and rifles, but some attack with vibroblades and riot control batons. 

Finn feels his back brush up against Ben’s, and the two men stay in the defensive position. “Rey really needs to get that shield down,” Finn says.

“We’ve got to give her more time,” Ben replies.

Both are glancing blaster bolts off their blades, and dodging swipes from vibroswords and batons. “There are too many of them for us to handle without our canons,” Finn says.

“We can handle it for a little longer,” Ben’s blade goes through the head of a trooper right in front of him leaving a smoking hole. 

 

XXXX

 

“Quiet now. We’re almost there,” Rey whispers to the troops behind her. They stop right at the edge of the forest about two hundred yards behind the end of the First Order forces. They can hear the battle ensuing faintly in the distance. “Right there,” she points.

There is a cylindrical durasteel chamber perched on all terrain wheels at the very back of the progression. Rey signals, and the group moves forward while Rey cloaks their figures with the Force for stealth. 

Once they reach the device one of the tech specialists opens a small panel, and begins to finagle with the wires inside. “I’ve never seen anything like this before,” the specialist says. “It’s going to take me awhile to figure out how to disengage the shield.”

An explosions rocks from the frontline. Rey looks towards it, “I’m not sure we have that kind of time.”

“Allow me,” a soldier comes to stand next to the specialist. He aims his blaster at the wires inside the panel and shoots. The shield above them and the First Order evaporates into the air. “See. Sometimes it just takes a good old blaster.” 

It’s only ten minutes after the shield goes down that Onoro and Ula come swooping in with the rest of the X-Wing fighters, and immediately after the ion and laser canons find their marks.

 

XXXX

 

“We’ve got one more turn to make,” Talon says to Rose and Akoni as they walk down the sterile hallways of the Abolisher. “Thankfully we haven’t been noticed.”

Just as he says this a small cluster of troopers pass them. The group tries to look inconspicuous, but one of the troopers catches sight of R2 and turns around.

“Halt,” comes the modulated voice. All three stop and turn. The trooper and his three other companions have stopped to take them in. “What is your identifier?” he asks Rose.

“FN-2187,” as soon as it’s out of her mouth she wants to scream. 

All four troopers lift their blasters, but before they can fire Akoni and Talon have their lightsabers out. In a flurry of arches and stabs the troopers fall to the floor. 

“We’ve got to go. Now!” Akoni says.

They sprint down the hall and make a left. They halt when they come to a large cavernous chamber with a pillar in the middle. “R2, engage the bridge,” Rose says.

The blue astromech droid plugs into the control panel beside him and a long black bridge juts out from the pillar to connect with the ledge. Rose then walks quickly across it and slides open a control panel. 

She removes her helmet, and while pulling off her gloves she peruses the wires. She picks a bright green one and pulls. The lights go out, and the ship starts to slowly tilt. 

Rose is up and running across the bridge when she slips, but she doesn’t find herself falling. Instead she’s floating. She looks over and Akoni has his hand outstretched. He begins to pull her towards them and he gently sets her down on the ledge beside them. “Good thing you’re light,” he says.

Rose is breathless, “Thank you. Both of you.”

“You can thank us with drinks later. Like, once we get out of here. Let’s go,” Talon responds.

The three of them plus R2 rush back towards the hanger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's bittersweet posting this chapter knowing it's about to end. So please comment. I'm thinking of starting an AU have this, so I hope you'll stick with me in that endeavor. 
> 
> Love you all!


	20. Flesh and Bone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle concludes with some casualties.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are everyone! I've been putting it off a bit because I know we are close to the end.
> 
> The song for this chapter is Flesh and Bone by The Killers.

_ “There’s no surrender, cause there’s no retreat.”  _ \- “Flesh and Bone” by The Killers

 

X-Wings whine overhead as Rey’s breathing comes faster. She artfully swings her saberstaff to deflect an oncoming bolt of energy from a blaster rifle, sending it back towards the trooper that fired it hitting him in the side of the neck. 

She then rotates a quarter of a circle around looking at three oncoming Stormtroopers brandishing riot batons. A guttural roar rips from Rey’s lips as she flourishes her lightsaber, and then she’s running at breakneck speed towards the enemy. She meets the first with an upward swing of her saber, cutting the riot baton in half before bringing the other end of her weapon around to slash against the soldier’s chest. 

She doesn’t hesitate before moving on to the next who brings his baton over his head to split Rey from head to pubis. But Rey holds her blade parallel to the ground and shoves up using the hilt to knock the trooper’s elbows back up towards the clear Boz Pity sky. A crack resounds and with the soldier reeling from the pain in his forearms from Rey’s offensive she has an opportunity to strike, and she does. She brings her staff back and shoves one end right through the trooper’s gut sending him to his knees.

The last Stormtrooper watches his comrade fall before his helmeted head comes back up to take in Rey. He’s running toward her in a gait of fury and bloodlust and once he’s in range of Rey’s petite body he tries to slash across. Rey skips a leg back causing the trooper to barely miss her midsection, but his failed strike doesn’t cause him to falter. Instead, his attack increases in speed and fervor. He keeps hacking towards Rey sending her retreating further. When he is finally close enough to make a significant strike taking advantage of Rey’s tired movement he spins his baton in a fancy rotation, using the butt of the weapon to knock Rey’s saberstaff from her hands. She watches as it arches, flying across the battlefield. 

Her hands ball into fists and she brings them up towards her face, ready to block anything the Stormtrooper strikes her with next. Again he brings the baton to slash against her middle, but Rey catches it in her hands. As the trooper struggles to gain the weapon from his opponent's grasp, Rey rotates her hip and brings her lithe leg up, striking the soldier in the head with her boot. While her leg is still extended in the air, Rey brings it back using the heel of her foot to snap the Stormtrooper’s head in the opposite direction. He goes spinning. 

Rey takes the baton that the trooper has dropped from beside her and brings it down, burying it in his chest. The trooper dies with a sickening twitch of his legs. As she’s watching his demise, Rey feels a hand grab her shoulder. She spins around with an elbow poised to strike her attacker only to have it catch in a wide, warm palm. 

“Whoa, easy there striker,” Ben says with a mild smile. “Nice moves, but you might need this.” He offers her her saberstaff and she takes it with a nod of thanks. They both look up in time to notice a small battalion of Stormtroopers circling them. 

Ben’s smile grows wider as he and Rey turn back to back ready to take on their enemies in a scenario that gives him a wave of deja vu.

 

XXXX

 

Poe zooms his X-Wing around firing after a TIE fighter he managed to separate from the pack. He hits his target and the fighter goes flying as it’s turned into several pieces of debris spiraling through space. 

“Rogue leader, the Abolisher is drifting. Alpha team has conquered their directive,” Poe hears the tinny voice of Major Brance through his comm. “Permission to start putting bombers in place.”

“Permission granted, but don’t drop the payload until Alpha team is out of there,” Poe commands. 

“Yes sir,” is the Major’s curt response. 

Taking in the roar of space battle and the various rubble of destroyed aircraft Poe sees the Falcon hurtle pass leaving a small coffin like object behind. The escape pod makes its way towards the Subjugator star destroyer. “All parties be advised, Beta team has dropped it’s gift. Janus Ren will be delivered in t-minus 10 minutes.”

 

XXXX

 

Janus lands on the Subjugator with a soft impact on the floor of the ship’s hanger. Once the lid of the escape pod pops open Janus catapults herself from its confines landing in a graceful front tuck in the middle of a patrol of Stormtroopers. She ignites her lightsaber and gets to work, cutting them down with easy fluidity like she’s a forester in the middle of a tree packed wood. 

One by one the troopers fall until there are none left. Looking over their bodies, Janus gives a self-satisfactory nod and exits the hanger bay, making her way towards the bridge. 

She sticks to the alcoves and shadows of the long corridors and hallways, and arrives on the bridge without incident. Once there, her eyes alight on a rigid figure at the helm, standing with legs shoulder-width apart and her hands clasped behind her back. Their uniform is immaculate and bears the insignia of General. “Janus Ren, so you’re a puppet for the Resistance now?” the smokey voice of General Sille comes from the figure. She turns.

“Ah, Dioga Sille, I knew you were Hux’s pet, but this is just pathetic. Do you wipe is ass too?” Janus replies taking in the flawless figure that General Sille cuts against the starkness of space through the viewport. 

“I always knew you were weak . . .,” Sille starts, but Janus drowns her out. Instead of listening to the woman’s speech, Janus ignites her lightsaber and with a neat Force push, advances herself until she’s right in front of the General. In one, perfunctory slash, General Dioga Sille falls in two pieces to the floor of the bridge of the Subjugator.

“Maker, I hate long speeches. I believe actions speak louder than words, don’t you?” she rhetorically asks those around her. They all return her question with dumbfounded glares and leers of surprise. “Well, what are you looking at? I’m in control now, and I order to open fire on the closest First Order star-destroyer.”

The bridge erupts into a hive of activity as the crew makes adjustments to arm and fire on their own forces.

 

XXXX

 

Rose runs down yet another hallways on the Abolisher, but her sprint quickly turns into a slide as her butt catches the glossy floor. The ship is rotating around them and it’s making it nearly impossible for Alpha team to get back to their shuttle. 

As Rose, Akoni, and Talon glide towards the end of the hallway R2 easily passes them using his propulsion jets. He gives the three of them a snarky beep on his way. 

“This is ridiculous,” Talon says in a frustrated huff, head following R2’s movement. “Our shuttle has probably smashed into a wall by now.”

“There’s no way we are going to get out,” Rose says standing as the ship has slightly leveled out, though it’s still on a mild sideways slant. 

Akoni brushes himself off, while taking in their surroundings, but their time upright is cut short by a stark impact that ripples all the way through the dreadnought. “We’ve hit the other dreadnought,” Talon proclaims. 

 

XXXX

 

“General, do we have permission to drop the payload?” Major Brance asks over Poe’s comm. 

“Negative, Major. Alpha team has not exited the Abolisher yet,” Poe’s response is rapid and desperate. 

The Major’s voice cuts over the comm’s static, “With all do respect General, we are running out of time.” 

“I know, Major, but we have to give them as much time as we can,” Poe says. He just hopes they hurry up. Finn would kill him if he didn’t return his future bride to him. 

“General,” Rogue eleven’s voice is the next Poe hears over his comm. “An escape pod has launched from the starboard side of the Abolisher. Scans show three humanoids and a astromech droid. Alpha team has left the ship.”

Poe gives a sigh of relief and looks over to see an large ovular capsule making its way towards the surface of Coruscant. “Major Brance, drop the payload,” he commands and watches as black and red bombs cascade out from the bottom of the bombers stationed over the two dreadnoughts. The two ships produce an explosion far larger than they should, signaling to Poe that the bio-chemical weapon Hux was so proud of is obsolete.

Poe hails the escape pod, “Rose? Akoni? Talon?”

“Poe? Poe, we made it!” Rose responds breathless. 

A deeper voice takes her place, “Hey boss, want to come pick us up from Coruscant. We thought we’d make a short pit stop and get some drinks.”

Poe smiles at Akoni’s capacity to joke in times of crisis. “Sure thing,” he says through his grin. “Hailing all ships, mission accomplished. I repeat, our mission has been accomplished. Major Brance please send a shuttle down planetside to pick up Alpha team. Beta team what’s your twenty?”

“I’ve got two star-destroyers left,” Janus Ren reports. “And if you don’t mind General, I rather like this ship. Mind if I bring it back with us?”

Poe chuckles, “Sure thing. Alright Resistance troops, let’s head home. We will all rendevouz in Boz Pity space.”

Affirmations are heard, one after the other, in Poe’s comm as he turns his fighter around readying it to jump to lightspeed.

 

XXXX

 

A loud crash echoes behind Ben and Rey as an AT-ATs legs are shot out from under the massive weapon of war. It lands on its side causing dust and rock to spring up from around it. Ben pays it no mind. It’s just another casualty of this battle, nothing more. 

He looks over to where Rey is fighting two Stormtroopers and forgets all about the massive machine. They’ve been fighting for at least an hour now, and he’s starting to feel the strain on his muscles. The Resistance forces have been able to commandeer two AT-ATs, and almost half of the First Order soldiers are dead. Victory will come easily.

 

XXXX

 

The top of the crashed AT-AT flies open, a tarnished black boot taking its place. The boot then disappears and is replaced by pasty skin, orange hair, and the sniveling angry expression of Supreme Leader Hux. He stretches out an arm and begins to pull himself from the wreckage. Once free he stands, and tries to dust himself off as best as he can despite the disheveled hair hanging across his forehead, his bloody nose and mouth and his torn cloak. He bends down to pick up a vibrosword. 

 

XXXX

  
  


When Finn hears the comm on his shoulder crackle he knows that it’s Poe immediately. The ex-trooper cuts down his enemy with his vibrostaff, and looks up to see he has somehow made his way towards Rey and Ben. 

He’s panting hard when Poe’s voice finally cuts through the static, “Mission is a success. I repeat mission is a success!”

A loud woop crashes against Finn’s throat causing both Ben and Rey to turn and look at him. He yells at them across the short distance between them on the battlefield, “They did it! They did it!”

He sees Ben smile, but before he can turn to see Rey he hears her scream. Ben becomes a blur as he rushes over. 

A bloody and battle ridden Hux stands with his gloved hand twisted in Rey’s plaited hair and a vibrosword poking her in the lower back. Ben stops just short of getting too close. “Hux, let her go,” Ben says, purple blade still ignited crackling next to his thigh. 

“You would love that, wouldn’t you  _ Ben Solo _ ?” Hux asks. “Well, you should know better than anyone that we don’t always get what we want. I was supposed to be the First Order’s savior. I had my own father killed to get here. He was just another weak thing standing in my way, and I thought it would be a straight path to bring the First Order to glory. Instead I’m met with an obstacle at every turn, and who is behind each and every one of those obstacles? Your perfectly pretty little scavenger girl, but not any more!” The vibrosword enters at the base of Rey’s spine and exits right between her ribs. 

A furious, keening bubbles forth from Ben’s lips as Rey’s body drops to the ground in front of Hux. The dirge then transforms itself into a primal growl as Ben forgets his fatigue and shortness of breath. He’s in Hux’s face in two long strides, saber connecting with sword in a dark clash. 

Hux snarls at him and Ben pushes against their interlocking weapons with a force so great it sends Hux rolling backwards head over heels, torn cloak coming to perch on top of his head. He struggles to right himself as Ben makes another approach, and with slash after slash Hux meets him, but just barely and he still retreats at Ben’s force. 

On the tenth step back, however, Ben pushes Hux and he is met with Finn’s vibrostaff, impaling himself in the same way he did Rey. Shock covers Hux’s sweaty face, and it’s quickly replaced by fear that then ripples into lifelessness. Finn shakes his staff to get the Supreme Leader’s body off the end as Ben sprints to Rey’s prone form.

When he reaches her, he disengages his lightsaber and drops it beside his boots before falling to his knees and gently rolling her over so that her head rests on his lap. “Rey?” he asks.

She coughs in response and hot blood bubbles past her lips meeting the clear air of Boz Pity’s atmosphere, “Ben?” Her voice is a whisper of the end. 

“Rey, hey. Stay with me,” he says.

“You know I can’t,” she says. “My part in this story is over.”

“No, sweetheart. No it’s not. Remember until every last star, and I know for a fact there are plenty of stars left,” he says. 

Her breath is coming shorter and shorter, “Every last . . .” She doesn’t have enough breath for the last word, and her intake of air stops all together. 

Ben can feel Finn at his back and can hear him sniffle. Ben’s own tears coat his lips with saline. He bows to press his forehead to Rey’s limp form. He can’t bring himself to look down at her sternum, at her death wound. 

His sobs are violent, angry and they rush forth like raging rapids. But as he’s staring into her lifeless hazel eyes a bright light shines just beyond his periphery. He straightens to see a small ball of pure energy dance it’s way through the air before landing on Rey’s open blood coated lips. It balances there for a second before dropping into her mouth.

A line forms between Ben’s brows as he begins to look around the battlefield. In his confusion he almost misses the four figures shimmering in the bright daylight just in front of where he sits with Rey’s body. The tallest of the figures immediately registers in Ben’s mind. “Grandfather?” he asks. 

Anakin nods his head. Ben’s gaze flits to the woman next to him, his grandmother. Anakin’s arm is around her shoulder, holding her tight to him. Standing in front of them is his mother and, surprisingly, his uncle. 

Luke steps forward and comes to sit on the ground on the other side of Rey’s form. He places a hand over her chest, and she takes a sharp inhale of breath, eyes fluttering violently. Luke smiles at Ben and leans forward to whisper something in his ear that leaves an exaggerated look of surprise on the man’s features. 

And as silently as they appeared the Skywalkers disappear leaving Ben to take in Rey’s form. The wound on her chest has healed, but the stain of blood still coats her clothes. His eyes move to look over her face and that’s when he notices the wound over her left eye, bisecting her brow down to her cheekbone. Ben gently touches it, “Now we match.” Her voice is soft and raw. It’s the last thing Ben hears before several soldiers come to transport her to a medbay.

 

XXXX

 

Rey wakes to a sterile white room with shadows at the edges of her vision. She feels a weight resting in her hand and looks down to find the dark skin of her friend’s grip wrapped her own freckled fingers. “Finn?” she croaks. 

His grasp tightens around her hand, and Finn sits up in his chair next to her bed. “Hey,” he says softly. “How are you feeling?”

“Disoriented.”

He snorts, “I’m sure. How much do you remember?”

“Not much.”

“Well, I don’t know how to tell you this, but you died.”

No wonder she feels like hell. “Then how am I here?”

“Ben. He performed some Force magic, and you came back to life.”

That didn’t sound right. Ben did not have any skills in Force healing. “Where is he?”

“In the bed on the other side of you. He’s sleeping right now. I insisted because he hasn’t left your side since you were taken off the field,” Finn explains.

Rey gives a stiff nod. “How long have I been out?”

“Almost a week. Our space forces just returned yesterday.”

There is a groan from the other bed Ben occupies, “Who are you talking to FN?”

“Rey.” Finn’s answer acts as a spring, and bolts Ben upright in his bed. It takes no time at all to come over to where Finn is sitting and shove him out of the way to take his seat.

“Hey there,” he says taking Rey’s hand.

She wants to laugh at his reaction, but she knows it will more pain than it’s worth. She gives a smile instead. “Hi.”

“I’m, um, going to find something for you to eat,” Finn says to Rey before exiting the room.

They’re silent for a bit before Rey says, “So, you healed me?”

“No,” he says. He goes on to explain the impossible appearance of the Skywalker clan, and how Luke had healed her.

“Why?” Ben looks at her in confusion. “Not that I’m not grateful, but why heal me? I’m nothing.”

“But not to me, and I think the Force agrees with me on that,” Ben answers. 

Again she tries to move her neck in a stiff nod. She knows better than anyone that sometimes you just have to go with whatever the Force decides, “How is everyone else?”

“Good, but a little banged up. Nothing serious, though.”

“Hux?”

“Dead.”

“Good.” 

Silent drifts in like a fog between them and they sit like that for a few more moments.

Ben is the first to break it, “Rey, there is one other thing.” She turns to look at him, eyes intent. “When Luke healed you, he told me something. Rey, you’re, ah, you’re pregnant.” Rey can feel her eyes grow to full moons. “The doctor has confirmed. You’re a little less than a month along. No one else knows, but me and the doctor.”

After a beat a smile grows across Rey’s lips to match her wide eyes. “How do you feel about this?”

Ben pulls the chair so that it’s closer to her bed. A few locks of his dark hair fall into his face as he does. “I’ve never been more nervous, but I’ve also never been happier,” he responds as a boyish grin blooms across his face, making him look so much like Han Solo.

Rey can only giggle in response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To answer some questions I'm sure you all have: yes, there will be an epilogue; yes, there is a possible sequel, but I want to work on something else before getting to that; and I do believe my next work will be an AU.
> 
> So help me decide an AU. Options are as follows:
> 
> 1\. A UFC/mixed martial arts AU  
> 2\. A military AU  
> 3\. A role reversal god/goddess AU where Rey is the deity and Ben is the mortal  
> 4\. A group therapy AU for either addiction or psychological therapy  
> 5\. Some type of soulmate AU
> 
> Tell me which ones you'd like to see!


	21. Epilogue: Surprise Yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events after the battle of Boz Pity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not updating sooner. I was totally dreading finishing this story because I've enjoyed it so much. So please comment and kudo and everything. 
> 
> This chapter's song is "Surprise Yourself" by Jack Garrett. 
> 
> Also follow this link to listen to the playlist for this whole story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7fDcHIGojQ&list=PLQtA3rQzrZ0bMkWCjfMMr-kQ-ZyMLuC6S

_ “The doubts that should embrace your heart, the calm and the chaos of your soul.”  _ \- “Surprise Yourself” by Jack Garratt 

 

Spring on Chandrila is a muted warmth that enlivens all the creatures around him. Ben remembers this time of rejuvenation when he was younger. How he would always find a way out of Hanna City into the countryside so he could lay in the soft grass away from the noise and politics and the darkness in his mind. Now, as he stands near the makeshift altar underneath a great tintolive tree next to Finn and Poe, he can still feel the soft miasma of shadow caress his mind, but every time it does the sparkling light comes after touching him in the same place, and for the first time since before he can remember, he feels balance.

Ben looks over at Finn and Poe dressed in a gold loose fitting long-sleeve tunics with black pants the fabrics softly disturbed by the slight breeze. They cut impressive figures. His look then moves down to himself in various colors of gray complete with a gray robe draped over his broad shoulders. He never thought he would find himself in any other color but black, but almost two years ago something - someone - happened to him that proved to him that this world wasn’t black and white, light and dark.

He looks up at the approaching of soft footsteps in the grass and looks out among the faces of various Resistance leaders and friends, but his eyes only search for one person and she’s making her slow march down the aisle. 

It’s been six months since the defeat of the First Order on Boz Pity, and since then Rey’s belly has grown to the size of a large melon. Her hair has grown too and it falls in soft waves over her shoulders, the sun having lighten various strands. The crown of her head is topped with a circlet of orchids a shimmery shade of white dusting her light brown locks in stardust. A dainty scar bisects her right eye. It’s noticeable but not as large as Ben’s. She’s barefooted and holding a bouquet of the same white orchids innocently in front of her, forearms partially set upon her bump. She wears a layered, gold, short babydoll dress with an empire waist and bell sleeves off the shoulder. There is minute detailing across her bodice that, Ben notices, complements her already enlarged breasts. 

As she approaches the altar Rey gives Ben a coy smile through her long lashes as if she knows the thought he just had. Then maneuvering around her swollen middle she kisses Finn on the cheek first then moves to Poe before taking a spot just left of the altar. 

The band then strikes up a traditional Otomok wedding march and all the guests stand from their seats. Though, Rey is beautiful in the Chandrilian morning sun, she is not the main event. Another figure now walking barefoot holding a much bigger bouquet of white orchids commands all the attention. Ben can’t help but think that Rose makes a beautiful bride. She wears white sleeveless dress, the neckline cut down to her sternum, with the side paneling draping off her hips and covered in gold detailing. Her hair is braided back with gold ribbons woven through and across her cheeks are a dusting of gold leaf - an Otomok wedding custom. 

Rose’s smile grows when she looks at Finn, who Ben figures, is sweating blaster bolts right about now. If that were Rey, Ben knows he would be too. Then Rose’s gaze moves to him and he gives her a small smile.

Ben had been surprised when Finn and Rose asked him to officiate their wedding. He was confused at first, but they were adamant. It also helped that he was a Jedi and knew the process of officiating a wedding on Chandrila. He was more than happy to oblige them.

When Rose reaches her destination she gives her bouquet to Rey and turns to take both of Finn’s hands in hers. Ben clears his throat, “The Force and all the galaxy has gathered here today to witness the bonding of this man and this woman in universal matrimony . . .”

 

XXXX

 

Ben can hear Finn laughing next to him as he reaches over to take Rey’s hand from her lap. They’re at the reception on Hanna City’s Skygarden, spring bringing new life to the wonderful botanical garden. He, Rey, Finn, Rose, and Poe are all gathered around a circular head table enjoying lunch and wedding cake. 

“You look absolutely beautiful,” he says leaning over to whisper into Rey’s ear, his breath bouncing off the shell of her lobe. “There’s something about you being pregnant with our child that makes you devastatingly glorious.”

He leans back in his seat and watches a pink flush creeps across Rey’s face. “I’m just glad I didn’t have to wear shoes,” she responds. Ben barks out a jovial laugh and Rey smiles even wider in response. 

“What are you two laughing about?” Poe asks from his spot between Rose and Rey. 

Rey turns to him, “Nothing.

“So, Poe when do you report for duty?” Ben asks. Poe has been appointed general of the New Galactic Union’s military. 

Poe takes a sip of his Chandrilian whiskey, “I will be headed to Coruscant in a week.” 

“Oh, good you’ll be getting there just after we do,” Rose says laying a hand on Finn’s shoulder. She’s been appointed to help kickstart a new senate and Finn is organizing and starting a Stormtrooper recovery program to help those who were in the First Order military adjust to civilian life and free thought. 

“You know, I’m excited to go to Coruscant, but I’m going to miss my BN,” Finn says turning to look at Ben and Rey.

“We’ll miss you too, FN,” Ben says giving the groom a set out pouty lips.

Rey giggles, “Yes, but if we are going to start a new Jedi Order we need to start soon.”

Rey and Ben had talked the point over and over of what location in which to establish their new order. Finally, they had decided on staying in Chandrila to be close to Leia. Once they decided, Rey made a promise to Ben that their life on Chandrila would be wholly different to that of his childhood. His response was light-hearted and excited.  _ Probably because we’ll be a family there, together, _ Rey thought.

“I know,” comes Finn’s response. “But the next time we’ll all be together will be when you have that baby and whenever you two decide to marry.”

Ben and Rey exchange glances sheepishly. “What?” Rose asks.

“Well, you know how we went to Ach’To to see if that was were we wanted to start the Order?” Ben asks.

The other three nod. “We figured that while we were there we could ask the Caretakers if they could marry us,” Rey explains waiting for the fallout.

Instead, Rose claps, Poe gives Rey a congratulatory kiss on the cheek and shakes Ben’s hand, and Finn lets out a high screech, “My best friends are married. Oh Maker! I am so happy for you!”

Rey can still hear the ringing in her ears hours later.

 

XXXX

 

A month later finds Rey and Ben donning their ceremonial grey robes and standing amongst the similarly clad Knights in one of the gathering halls of the New Academy. Once a military school, the buildings were well suited for the new Order’s purposes - moving the military academy to Coruscant at the oversight of Poe. 

The light marble floors of the all-marble auditorium are alight with the morning sun drifting through the floor to ceiling windows behind Rey who stands between Janus and Ornoro at the head of the room. They face Ben, Ula, Talon, and Akoni who stand behind Jezzuu, Luun, Melleriana, and Tu, respectively. The padawans are dressed in grey tunics and pants tucked into black boots and with their sabers strapped to their black utility belts.

Each master has their hands on their padawans’ shoulders. Rey takes all of them in one after another before speaking. “We are here today to initiate Tu Zayelt, Melleriana Elysar, Luun Obarel, and Jezuu Terani into the Gray Jedi Order. Are there masters here who will vouch for these padawans?”

In turn each master responds with, “I do.”

Rey smiles resting her hands on her stomach. “Good. Let this ceremony not only inform the padawans of their oath to the Jedi Order and the galaxy, but also remind masters of the oath they have taken.” A few weeks ago Rey and Ben took the oath together in private - having adapted it from one of the ancient Jedi texts - and then conducted a ceremony for the remaining Knights to take the oath. “Let us all take the oath now. Please repeat after me: There is no Dark Side, nor a Light. There is only the Force. I will do what I must to keep the balance. The balance is what keeps the galaxy together. There is no good without evil, but evil must not be allowed to flourish. There is passion and emotion, serenity and peace, chaos and order. I am the wielder of this flame, the protector of the balance. I am the holder of this torch, lighting the way. I am the keeper of this flame, soldier of the balance. I am the guardian of the balance. I am a Gray Jedi. I will love the light, for it shows me the way. Yet I will endure the darkness, for it shows me the stars.”

All their voices together ring loud and clear in the large empty space. Various expressions of seriousness crest the faces of the padawans standing in front of their masters. 

Rey then goes to each padawan individually. “Jezzu Terani, your training is being entrusted to Ben Solo, learn from him. Luun Obarel, your training is being entrusted to Ula Chakrabarti, learn from her. Melleriana Elysar, your training is being entrusted to Talon Jahani, learn from him. Tu Zayelt, your training is being entrusted to Akoni Suresh, learn from him.”

Each in turn respond with, “Yes Master Solo.” 

“I and the rest of my Gray Jedi brothers and sisters welcome you to our ranks,” Rey finishes and smiles at Ben. A sense of accomplishment folding over them.

 

XXXX

 

The last time Ben heard Rey scream like this she was being tortured by Hux, and if childbirth was that painful he was glad he’d never have to partake. On the other hand, he wants to take Rey’s pain and bear it himself, but instead holding her small but strong hand in his own would have to do.

“Okay now, Master Solo, one last push,” the medic says to Rey. Another guttural snarl follows by what sounds like Rey shredding her vocal chords echoes through the medcenter. Then a few seconds of silence hit until it’s broken by another, tinier cry.

The medic holds up a small, purple, wrinkly thing so that Rey and Ben can see. “Congratulations, you have a baby girl,” she says.

Ben presses his forehead to Rey’s as a nurse comes and takes the baby to be cleaned. “Natia,” she whispers to him. He nods. 

“Umm, I’m sorry Masters Solo,” the medic interrupts. They both turn to look at her. “But you’re going to need to get ready to push again.” 

“Did the afterbirth not pass?” Ben asks recalling everything he read from all the birthing holos he digested in the past nine months. 

The medic smiles at his knowledge, “Ah, no. It seems that there is another baby coming.”

Ben’s head snaps to stare wide-eyed at the medic, “What?”   
“You’re having twins, Masters Solo,” she responds.

Before Ben can pass out from surprise and lack of blood flow to his hand, Rey is pushing again. A few pushes later and the medic is displaying a matching wrinkled human to the first. “A baby boy,” she says. 

Rey is crying now and, damn it, so is Ben. “Matthan,” she says. 

“You already have a name?” he asks her.

Rey gives a tearful laugh, “I had a feeling there were two in there, but they’re so alike it was hard to read their Force signatures separately.” 

Ben gives her a kiss on her sweaty forehead, “You’re always surprising me.”

The nurse and medic brings over the two babies bundled in plush blankets and sets one in Ben’s arms and the other in Rey’s. Both infants sport shocking ebony hair. 

“Oh no,” Ben whispers, and Rey catches it.

She looks at him in alarm, “What’s wrong?”

His golden gaze meets the flecks of green in her’s, “Matthan has my ears.”

Rey gives an exhausted laugh and Ben follows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support and love. Please be on the lookout for two new stories coming from me soon. Both are AUs I won't give details yet, but their titles will be "Neon Tiger" and "Sunshine/Riptide."
> 
> Love to you all. Thank you for being on this wild ride with me!


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